Not really what I consider Cyber Relationship - Meeting someone online... singles sites.

[ImThatGirl]

Pro's and Con's.....?

 

Likes and dislikes.....?

 

I am curious, curious, curious...... Your experiences with them.

 

So far the one I joined out of curiosity is mostly overwhelming. I stated so on my profile and that I like to talk much - mostly there for talking / emailing.....

 

Tell me your experiences please!

[Loki71]

mostly there for talking / emailing

 

Be careful when you put that. You will get alot of replies from guys that think your there just to play around and have cyber fun. So far for me on line singels sites are a joke. Alot of the women are there just to get men to come join their porn website or they want the hunk so they ignore alot of good guys. At the same time women find alot of men just looking for a good time and an online FWB.

[Batya33]

I had generally positive experiences mostly because of my "rules" in dealing with contact. I e-mailed only once or twice, then had a phone call - usually about 20 minutes, and then decided whether to meet in person, usually within a week. I used the emails and the phone call to screen out more than to screen in.

 

Reasons I screened out - too much negativity, not articulate/dull, anything s_xual, incompatible values or goals, lying about age/marital status/level of education or any basic facts like that, not willing to meet in person in the near future without a good reason. I probably met in person about a third of the men I spoke with by phone. I did not consider the first meet a date and tried to plan it for during the week (or during the day on a weekend) for coffee.

 

I was very good at detecting red or pink flags by phone and refused to meet anyone who wouldn't talk before meeting (99% of them agreed). I also googled anyone I was going to meet as much as possible for safety. Out of the 100 or so people I met in person, I had a few bad experiences but very few - there was one pathological liar, one person who seemed to be on drugs, like that.

 

About 12 of my friends met their spouses through on line dating sites.

[amipushy]

Be careful when you put that. You will get alot of replies from guys that think your there just to play around and have cyber fun. So far for me on line singels sites are a joke. Alot of the women are there just to get men to come join their porn website or they want the hunk so they ignore alot of good guys. At the same time women find alot of men just looking for a good time and an online FWB.

 

I couldnt have put it better myself.

 

I'm sure there are lots of really nice guys but in the end you just sort of flick through to pics and their messages which becomes like a windowshopping until one stands out as special in some way. Out of hundreds of messages I've had five actual dates and two short relationships have developed from them.

 

I would also never meet someone without a real photograph, in my experience 'cam shots' lie.

[DaBladeRoden]

Well pretty much all of my dates were arranged with someone I met either directly online through singles sites, or people who were members of meetup groups.

[ImThatGirl]

Thank you all for your responses about online dating.

 

I'm still not sure what to think about it. I still have to talk / email as what I'm there for. Truth is, I hardly have time to date.

 

I've messaged with several several people. Contemplated meeting a couple for coffee. Most of all, my thoughts of the website is that it seems too forced.

 

I did go out for the first time in forever on Friday night. It was nice mingling with others my age and in the town I live in rather than the little town I grew up in like usual. I don't know....

 

All so interesting. I'd really love to hear more of your dating stories.

[JadedStar]

I wouldn't put the talk/emailing on the profile itself, even if that is what you hope for. Wait and get some responses and work that into the conversation. Like someone said you will get a lot of guys flooding you thinking you want to email and talk trash with them.

 

Your biggest chance for success is to take it offline and meet very soon. Reason I say this is because you will likely waste A LOT of time if you keep it on email and chatting too long only to find out they are nothing like what you imagined. It is very easy for them to be something they are not when you do this, even if they DONT TRY to do it.

 

Meet up quickly I suggest - after a couple of email exchanges and a phone convo. If you want to still do emailing and such after that is fine, but at least you get the rest of the picture and that is seeing how they look in real life (not that looks are everything, but we HAVE to find a person attractive) and their mannerisms, etc. It goes a long way. You can get A LOT from talking online but the entire picture is etched in after you meet.

 

You don't want to get in a position of wasting your time on men who never want more than an email relationship....that is the main reason for meeting sooner rather than later.

 

Congrats on having a nice time friday night! This should be part of your goal right now - just getting out there and mingling, having nice convo, a good time....no need to concentrate on finding mr.serious right off the bat.

 

Oh and to add - I have quite a few friends and aquaintences who met their SO on a dating site.

[ImThatGirl]

Thank you JS!

 

So, what if I just want to meet friends? Is it true that if I work that into conversation that guys can possibly think the same thing about me just wanting to have fun or whatnot?

 

I can't fit in enough time to "date" anyone I don't think... I can maybe fit in coffee time or lunch time.

 

I keep thinking I should just delete my profile as my focus is and should be moreso just mingling and getting to know others and myself in new settings.... But then I meet interesting people that I think maybe I'd like to meet as friends.

 

Hmmmmmm........

[ImThatGirl]

Here's how my profile reads....

 

I'm really just checking this site out. Heard good things about it..... Still not sure though about online dating. Could say I'm really just curious at the moment.

 

My schedule is quite busy (aren't all of ours these days?) I am a proud momma of two beautiful kids.... On top of spending as much time as I can with them and working full time, it's a little difficult finding time to meet people.

 

I've added a couple pictures.... Yay... The second one is a silly face picture taken by one of my little ones at a Hockey game. In a bit of a hurry so just grabbed a couple pics and posted them.

 

Still not so sure about all of this. Please note that for now, I'm here to kinda meet friends, chit chat mostly.... As I said above, my schedule is mad busy and besides weekday lunch, not sure how I can fit in dating.... or if dating is something I wanna do as our little picture feels pretty comfortable right now.

 

 

 

* * * One thing I want to say - - I truly appreciate each of you taking the time to write me. I apologize if I haven't written you back.

I'm tryin... to do better about writing back. My oh my!

[JadedStar]

Thank you JS!

 

So, what if I just want to meet friends? Is it true that if I work that into conversation that guys can possibly think the same thing about me just wanting to have fun or whatnot?

 

I can't fit in enough time to "date" anyone I don't think... I can maybe fit in coffee time or lunch time.

 

I keep thinking I should just delete my profile as my focus is and should be moreso just mingling and getting to know others and myself in new settings.... But then I meet interesting people that I think maybe I'd like to meet as friends.

 

Hmmmmmm........

 

Well that one is tricky ITG because most men (and wmoen) don't join dating sites to find friends. Most have the common goal of finding someone to date. Many people do end up making friends from people they went out with that didn't work out, but to put 'just looking for friends' in the profile will probably be viewed in the 'don't waste time' category by many....I know that isn't what you probably hoped for but to be honest I think most would think of it that way.

 

If you don't mind limiting your number of responses, or getting men with more than friends on their mind despite what they say upfront, then certainly you have every right to put that on there.

 

You might gain more success joining sites like link removed or other social 'for friend' sites if you truly only want friends.

 

link removed definitely sounds more up your alley. You can go to as many or as few socials as your time permits, and most everyone has the same goal - to meet up and mingle and if something happens to progress to more, that is a bonus.

[ImThatGirl]

Well that certainly makes sense. Never heard of link removed.

 

From what I gathered upon signing up, it is okay to only be interested in meeting friends. And it the longer I'm on the site the more clear it seems that it is quite the socializing place....?

 

I have met someone today. That will be at a game we are going to Friday. ? Hm... Maybe I shall cancel after this week. I don't know! lol

[DaBladeRoden]

There are some singles groups on link removed

[ImThatGirl]

Just checkin in real quick and dang it! I didn't do what I was supposed to - will do this evening.....? Sorry D!

[midnightrambler]

..

I second all of these. I made an exception once to someone who lied about his age. And when they list "sex" as one of their "likes" on EH, I delete immediately. I mean, come on.

 

if they dislike sex then your are on board?

[JadedStar]

I agree that it is a bit slimey to mention liking sex as one of the 'hobbies' or the like on the dating profile...

[crosstownTraffic]

Hmm.. may I ask you "privately" OP, what site you found to be on? I'm sort of in same boat.. pretty busy, but would like to meet ppl for friends and maybe hopefully a nice guy I could date on regular basis..

Overall.. I find the internet dating thing rather complex.. well, there are what the others say.. some just lookin for hookups.. not my thing.. some for cyber-sex.. again not my thing.. and then the time-wasters I call them.. They will string you along endlessly, writing e-mails, sendign IMs, but then never get around to meeting up!

 

Well, anyone have a list of about 4 dating sites they recommend?

I've heard of link removed.. it's more about "socializing" i hear than dating, but you gotta meet someone somehow, and to not have that "pressure" of a "date" before you have even met someone.. well that's kinda good in a way!

 

Well, let us know how you make out OP.. yeah.. do be careful of what you put out in a website.. Someone said that putting your e-mail online right off the bat, in say a profile, is a bad risk.. also.. I've just read if you IM and then send your photo thru the IM messenger.. someone cud hack into your computer that way.

Just to be cautious, not trying to get you paranoid.. My friend been on a site that has someone claiming to be hacking into ppl's profiles and IP's.. so caution is a good thing online.. I think especially since many ppl now put their financial stuff on their computer.

Just have a good firewall and virus protection.. well, hope you have fun meeting up with the ppl you've encountered on that site!

[Jayar]

Pros:

 

* Ability to screen without chemistry getting in the way (if you remain objective).

* Ability to meet people you know are looking (even if SINGLE can't be guaranteed!)

* Occasionally you meet someone wonderful that you wouldn't have looked twice at on the street.

 

Cons:

 

* There are lots of people who are misrepresenting, cheating, or dangerous. Be careful!

* Sometimes you emotionally invest yourself, and you're disappointed upon meeting.

* There is a tendency to get involved with "impossible" relationships such as those that are very long distance and no one is willing to travel.