Horrible situation!!

[Norfie]

Hi,

 

First off im new to these boards and am not sure i put this in the right place, sorry if it is the wrong place. To get started my name is Jason, im 22 and i work in a little family run hotel. I have worked there for 5 years now and had a relationship with a girl that works there a few years back but have never really got over her, and have always wanted to be with her.

 

The problem is that my boss, who's wife also runs the hotel, has been meeting up with her for years, well this was my suspsisions anyway until today. Today i found a card that was to my boss form the girl i have been going after for years saying that she loves him and he is her first love, this confirmed my suspisions, and now i dont know what to do. She is only 18 and goes to uni but comes back to work when she has holidays and is still meeting up with him i think.

 

The most upsetting thing about this situation is that bosses wife is lovely and he has 2 kids with her, and he treats her like * * * * . Rumours have been going around for years at work that my boss has been getting with this girl and his wife has been told but when she has ever confronted him he has always wormed his way out of it. My boss is 38 and she is 18, and he has everything in life that anyone could ever want, 2 lovely kids, nice house all the works, i just cant understand why he would want to get with her, or even why she would want to get with him, i mean im an attractive young man with alot going for me(not trying to be big headed, i'm not like that).

 

Im upset and confused about what to do, i get on really well with my boss and i have confronted him before, under the influence of alcohol mind you and he denied it to me but i could tell he was lieing.

 

I want to stay out fo the way but i feel my boss will worm his way out of this card too, even tho i dont know how he can.. The card didnt actually say from her but i could tell it was her handwriting. What should i do????

 

Thanks for your time!!

 

Jason

[Davie]

Well Jason that makes the two of us! We are both new here! I'm here for advise on LDR's (long distance relationships) ... I'm also a good looking young man... .

 

hehe kidding

 

Anyway, perhaps you should just tell the girl how you feel. I think that might be the first step. If she doesn't know you love her... she may never know. I recently found out a girl i used to like since childhood liked me the same way but we both fought we were out of each others league (I dno why she thought that of me). But she finally admited to liking me a few months ago and I'm not in a happy relationship.

 

So in my slightly similar experiance, the best thing to do is tell her... maybe she likes you just as much but is shy?

 

Play it cool mate

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It think you should take a good long look at who this girl really is. At 18 she is old enough to know better...she is a tramp. Why waste your life pining over someone who is having a relationship with a married man who is 20 years her senior and her boss. Doesn't say much about the character of this woman. As for the wife, well, she is not stupid and likely knows exactly what is going on. There could be many reasons why she is staying: doesn't want to be alone, financial matters tied in with the business etc. I would suggest you just do your job and not get involved with your boss' personal life..that is not your concern...and what this young woman gets up to is not your problem so you need to stay out of it and find a decent woman to go out with.

[Norfie]

Yes i suppose you are right, but she was my first love and i do have alot feelings for her and i dont like seeing how they are with each other at work but i guess i just have to grit my teeth. I also have alot fo time for my boss's wife as she is lovely and it aint nice seeing her being treated like she is. Thanks for the advice though im sure it is best to stay out of it even though it is really hard at times!!

[alli]

I wouldn't bother with this girl. She is willing to be involved with a married man which shows little regard for respecting the boundaries of a relationship. Would you want to be involved with someone who sees nothing wrong with cheating?

 

His wife needs to know the truth. Obviously she wants the truth as she has confronted him with the rumors. Is this your permanent job? If so, you could let her know anonymously, perhaps by photocopying the card & putting it in a location that she will find it (before her husband!) If you think they will figure out it is you & this is your permanent job, you should probably stay out of it. But I still think it would be a good idea for you to photocopy the card so you could prove it to her at a later time if, perhaps you were leaving the job. You could tell the wife who the card is from, but really even not knowing who it's from, the card alone is evidence enough.

 

Forget the girl, she is not a winner.

[Norfie]

She has seen the card, the wife is good friends with the receptionist and she was in tears to her yesterday on the phone and told the recpetionist to look at the card. the receptionist has now told me. His wife confronted him and he just denied it per usual, as she didnt actually put her name on the card but we all know it is her handwriting. It is my permanat job ive been working there for 5 years and love it, but it really gets to me knowing that this is going on....

[alli]

That's good she knows. Her consciously deciding to blindly trust her husband's word despite evidence to the contrary right in front of her is her own choice. The author of the note is meaningless to her in terms of whether or not he is cheating on her. I think would be comparable to her seeing him with a prostitute but thinking "well, I don't know her name so it didn't necessarily happen!" IF that is what she did... trust her husband who is denying it.

 

I'm glad you aren't in a dilemma as to whether you should risk your job telling her. Everyone knows what is going on, what gets to you is that they continue doing it. At least you know this girl's true character. I don't know about you, but I have a very low regard for people who cheat or people who knowingly get involved with a person who is not single. She is just as guilty of wrongdoing as he is and I hope you see her for what she is now.

[Norfie]

Yes you are right it takes 2 to tango but im not sure if its still going on, she has just contacted me asking me if she wants me to come round but i can only feel as if im being used as a front to hide the truth of what is really going on. In a way i feel sorry for her as this has now been going on for 3 years and i feel she has been manipulated and got stuck in the situation, but now i feel she wants to get out of it. I do know its wrong to want to give her a chance but when i feel so strongly for her its hard... Maybe its just me being to devoted to her but its tough picking around my area for the ladies!!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

So she was 15...a minor, when this guy started to get his hooks into her! That's illegal.