Jump to content

Virginity Dilemma


Recommended Posts

I'm still a virgin as some of you may already know. I'm pretty depressed about this some times, some times I'm OK with it. On the whole you could say that I don't really *care* enough about it at the moment to really do something about it. I mean I feel sick that I'm inexperienced and missing out, but I don't care *that* much that I'd be willing to break out of my comfort zone and do something about it. I'm also scared, but the main feeling is apathy.


For now this is no problem, I'm usually ok with being a virgin and staying inside in my comfort zone playing video games etc. I actually enjoy that, socializing would be hell.


Now I do worry what is going to happen in the future. Suppose I wake up one day and I'm 30 and still a virgin with no life experience. While this doesn't bother me *now* it might be horribly depressing when I get to that point.


I hope you understand what I mean. I don't want to do something about it now, but I know I'll likely be sorry later because if I don't do something about my life I'll end up like that, but I like being the way I am now because it's not scary. What should I do...

Link to comment

What should you do?


Well...stop placing so much importance on your sexual status. I, personally, find it odd that sex is viewed as this weird sort of social rite of passage. Like, you're somehow "weird" if you haven't had sex by a certain age. All of that crap is so arbitrary, anyway--and yes, I'm a 23 yr. old virgin, here and okay with that. Yes, I could've had sex with some random guy in a back bedroom at a high school kegger (like one of my friends did), but I knew myself better than that. And I wasn't ready--physically, yes--of course I was. But emotionally? No freaking way.


You're the only one who knows yourself well enough to understand when/if you're ready to do the "deed." So, take a deep breath and just...relax. I JUST read an article about how we, as a society, don't put nearly enough emphasis on sex. And I agree with that, to a certain extent.


When sex just becomes "it" then we turn "it" into something casual that, for a lot of people, is just done with, well, whoever strikes their fancy. But, I guarantee you, a lot of those same people aren't jumping for joy about every sexual encounter they have. It's not like losing your virginity removes all emotional attachment from the act--so, really, don't just do it for the sake of not feeling left out later on.


I think you should, maybe, THINK about starting to socialize? I mean, this is obviously something you're stressing out about. And, yeah, if you don't socialize now there's a possibility you could turn into a 30-yr-old virgin. But, my advice is don't even look at socializing/dating as a means to finding someone to sleep with. Just look at it as spending time with people that you like/have fun with. That'll help take off a lot of the pressure, I think. Then, if anything happens, it happens. If not, then you're not left feeling like a failure because you're "bad" at dating.


Anyway--I seriously rambled here, sorry. I'm half-asleep, so don't hold me accountable for anything that didn't make much sense. Really, though--empty sex often turns bad (I've fielded enough phone calls/weepy conversations from regretful friends--both male and female--to know).

Link to comment

Sex is over rated. Love is under rated. You could have sex with any random person, and it wouldn't make that much of a difference in your life. Sex doesn't change who you are. To tell you the truth I didn't stop feeling weird about sex until the second person. At best you would find out that sex doesn't determine who you stay with in a relationship, and at worst you would find out that your a pig/ * * * * * who uses girls/guys. Depressing, maybe, but you should work on building relationships with people before you worry about it.

Link to comment

sex aside, i think socialising is a key componant in life, especially when were young.

peoples emotions and reactions have a big effect on us. isolating yourself from them will save you from embarrasment, shame, riddicule ect... but it will also keep you from love, friendship, and the important lessons you must one day teach your kids.


like learning a instrument, i suggest start off small and slow. conversations can be controlled in your faviour by asking questions. so ask them.


good luck sir

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...