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Help with an apology..


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Hi everyone,

 

I was wondering if it is okay to read out a written apology to the person in question.

 

I know that if I go into the apology with out it I'm going to completely stuff it up, whereas if I had it written and could read it out, I would be able to get out exactly what I want to say.

 

I just wondered if this was acceptable.

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Why not just give her the apology in the form of a letter?

 

There is something awfully awkward about reading a heartfelt apology from notecards.

 

Firstly, it's a he

 

it's only a short apology, a few sentences, but even though it is short, I know that I would stuff it completely ad libbing.

 

I guess I've read a lot about how sending a letter is chickening out, and an in person apology is more sincere. I'm actually quite terrified of doing it in person.

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Firstly, it's a he

 

it's only a short apology, a few sentences, but even though it is short, I know that I would stuff it completely ad libbing.

 

I guess I've read a lot about how sending a letter is chickening out, and an in person apology is more sincere. I'm actually quite terrified of doing it in person.

 

Totaly agree. Just say it over and over till you are ok with it. Don't look him in the eyes which will help. You could also hire someone to sign the apology while you read it to loosen the atmosphere.

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Generally, I'd say No: A written apology doesn't have any meaning. An apology should be from the heart, and emotions should be shown to reflect the sincerity of the apology being made.

 

If you don't mind me asking: What happened?

 

Sure,

 

long story short... ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, we work together, and things at work have been 'strained' to say the least.

 

I called him just before new year to try and alleviate the growing tension between us (knowing that he was now seeing someone else and had been days after we broke up, if not before and was making things awkward for me at work). This apparently made things worse and he got very angry at me for calling him. Things are now awful at work, and I just want things to be smooth between us again.

 

I wanted to apologise for my side of it, there probably was a better way of doing it, what that is, I'm not sure. But at the moment it just seems like it is escalating and I'm truly sorry for perhaps putting him in a really awkward and uncomfortable situation.

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Hey HereAgain,

 

OK, now I get it. I think that you should not in anyway feel guilty or weird about what's going on at work. He is being disrespectful to you and that is the bottom line. Do your job, remove yourself from any situation that continues the drama, and move on. This guy is not good for you. Period. Best of luck to you in the new year. You will make through all this crazy stuff. Believe it and Live It! It is all possible. It is.

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I don't think you have a reason to apologize. I would just not call him again.

 

I'd do the same thing. Stay out of confrontational situations with the ex, and don't contact him. There's no need to apologize at this point. It's done. Let it go.

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I'm not really sure what you are apologising for - what does your apology say?

 

In any event, I think that of the two choices - 1) written apology sent out, or 2) written apology read out, I would just send it. Or call him and read it out. Reading out in person is probably to be avoided unless you are still together and he'd think it was cute.

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I'm not really sure what you are apologising for - what does your apology say?

 

In any event, I think that of the two choices - 1) written apology sent out, or 2) written apology read out, I would just send it. Or call him and read it out. Reading out in person is probably to be avoided unless you are still together and he'd think it was cute.

 

Here's what I put in my apology, while I understand that he has not acted appropriately, I still feel I need to take responsibility for my part in it.. here's a brief version..

 

"When we spoke the other night, you were probably feeling that I had intruded into your life and angry and confused as to why I would want to discuss these issues with you.

 

I didn't mean to catch you off guard or anything like that, I just wanted everything to be okay between us and I only did what I thought was right at the time.

 

Please understand that I was acting out of confusion and hurt as well.

 

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that while I don't expect your forgiveness, I'm truly sorry for my part in all of this."

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This doesn't sound like the kind of thing you need to apologize for face-to-face. A phone call or e-mail would suffice.

 

In fact, as others have said, you probably don't need to apologize at all. Unless you're trying to preserve a friendship, that is, in which case you ought to just as a gesture of goodwill. But if the extent of your interaction with this guy is work-related, then don't worry about it, pretend it never happened.

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Wow,

 

You are being WAY to forgiving and sorry. Please don't be such a doormat to this man. It is nice that you want to be nice, but, it is not so nice in the long run. Just let it lie, let it go, whatever. This deal is done. Please, don't diminish yourself anymore to this person. You have done enough. Let it go and find out who you are beyond this relationship. This one is not a good one for you and you will find something good in the future. But, only, if you let this one go. Let it go sweetheart, it's just not a good thing for you now. Cheers to better things in the future for you.

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Perhaps I might just send a written apology, rather than put myself through the stress of a face to face apology. An acceptable compromise?

 

While he probably doesn't deserve an apology, and whether he expects one or not, I feel that I want to apologise, for my part at least.

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Wow,

 

You are being WAY to forgiving and sorry. Please don't be such a doormat to this man. It is nice that you want to be nice, but, it is not so nice in the long run. Just let it lie, let it go, whatever. This deal is done. Please, don't diminish yourself anymore to this person. You have done enough. Let it go and find out who you are beyond this relationship. This one is not a good one for you and you will find something good in the future. But, only, if you let this one go. Let it go sweetheart, it's just not a good thing for you now. Cheers to better things in the future for you.

 

Thank you, sometimes, even though it sounds obvious you need to hear this. It's so hard walking away from someone that has been a big part of your life, knowing they are so angry and have so little respect for you even though you have done nothing wrong. If anything they are the ones in the wrong.

 

I would never thought it would have ended up like this, and sometimes it just feels that things got so out of control. So I guess an apology is my way of controlling things. I think you are right and I need to learn to let go.

 

Thank you for your post.

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Sometimes we have to admit and recognize that some things are out of our control. Try to focus on the things that you can control. That being your own sense of self and happiness. Take care, especially of yourself. Take whatever steps you need, to be happy and content. It is a new year, let new things and people into your life now. He was only a small part of your total life. Like a minor chapter in some ways. Or, if you think he was that important to your final life story, yeah, give him five chapters, but, he is not the final chapter. You have yet to live and know that one. Cheers.

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Should You Forgive a Cheater (Serio...
Should You Forgive a Cheater (Seriously!?)

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