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Boy, am I stupid or what...... HELP!


bleedingorange
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Ok, this is a long story that kinda ends in a bittersweet way. I don't know if I still have a chance with this girl or not and I'd like to know for sure. Opinions and advice is what I need and I need it now! ^_^

 

I found this girl whom I've been friends with since the beginning of the school year. One day she sat with me in my seat at school and people asked us if we were going out. She said, nope.... just me and daniel. But I thought about it and realized I'd love to date this girl!

 

So this all happens literally DAYS before christmas break and she gives me a Christmas card and says we should hang out, but I am stupid and shy and instead of asking for her phone number or something I leave it at that and spend two weeks without seeing her at all.

 

Two weeks pass and Christmas break is over and she tells me she missed me. I say the same and we go on being friends. I finally get up the nerve to ask her out but she's always working when I'm not and finding a day when we're both not busy is hard. I asked her out by saying "wanna do something this weekend?," and she said sure. I do it a few more times and kinda give up after never working out our schedules very well.

 

Well, then one day I got it in my head that she might be avoiding me and not really want to date me at all. So I asked her straight out if we'd ever get to do something together and if she really wanted to.

 

BIG MISTAKE!!!!! STUPID ME!!!!!

 

She said something to the effect of "Your always calling me when I'm at work and when I'm doing something and I can't help it if I'm busy. You expect me to just get up whenever you call and go!"

 

..... pause

 

"I don't even really have to work, I just do it because I want to"

 

after many apologies from me ..... and very sincere one's at that..... she kinda got over it and we were friends again. Boy I felt stupid because friends of mine told me that was the right thing to do. It obviously wasn't.

 

Then she kinda started treating me differently. Like she didn't really like me "in that way," anymore. It went like that for awhile.

 

UNTIL....

 

On valentine's day. Well, not really ON Valentine's Day. She wasn't at school that day. But the next week I gave her a Valentine (just a card) that I had that said something like this:

 

"Your friendship is good for my heart and soul. Happy Valentine's Day to the cutest, sweetest, most wonderful person I know."

 

Immediately afterwards she started treating me like she used to treat me. Which makes me think she's liked me all along and that she probably was starting to think I didn't like her back. It was kinda funny when I told her I had something I wanted to give her on Valentine's Day because I had given her a sucker that day (she loves those for some reason) and she just went "Another sucker?"

 

Anyway, she's kinda a big flirt and lots of guys flirt with her all the time. Which makes me a little jealous and sometimes makes me think maybe all this time it was just innocent flirting and she never liked me to begin with.

 

Well...... I am on a team with her in a video technology class at school and I have to see her every day. Every time I look in her eyes or hear her voice saying my name I just go weak at the knees for this girl. Dunno why. I still really want to ask her out, but after all my botching up that I've done since I've met her, I get the impression that she might never want to date me now.

 

Her sister obviously noticed I like her, because her sister kinda gives me a weird wink from time to time. I still don't know really what that's all about.

 

How can I re-approach her now? I've waited nearly a week as of today since I've given her that Valentine, just acting like a good friend.

 

 

....... sometimes I feel like maybe I'm out of my league. I'm not the best looking guy in the world. She could probably do better than me. I feel like maybe I'm the only one who doesn't see that. Love is blind. lol. And I know that with my past crushes so was I.

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First off, let me say OMG! I kid you not that I am in the same exact situation man, it's so scary. Let me share my story, and you will see how closely they relate...

 

Well, there's a girl I like, she sat with me at lunch one day and one of her friends said "are you guys going out," I was quick to say no, but she hesitated and didn't answer. Things were smooth sailing from then till a week or so before valentine's day. We talked less, she (being a big flirt) would do so with other guys (one in particular) so I the same as you was jealous... I got her a rose on v-day and she loved me for that, she also said she wanted to hangout, and has even asked me to go somewhere, same as you the schedules are different, so i never had the opportunity... I regret that SOOOOOO incredibly much now that it just pisses me off... Some of my friends that are girls say that I still have a huge chance and i always have. But you see, there is another guy that she flirts with, and they even walk around together... Right now we talk less, we do have a class together (and lunch) but we share a "hi" and "bye"... I have her number but I'm too nervous to call, I don't know what to do, let it slip, or keep going. Well anyways I just had to share that with you, I'm sorry if you hate me for that, lol.

 

What I think you should do is start to become "better" friends with her, and given the oppurtunity to "hang out" with her (which is also the term the girl I like used) just hang out with her when she can! don't let this chance go, don't do what I did, I completely $crewed my good chances with this girl... So in simple terms... Be a closer friend and hang out with her when given the chance. If this didn't help you I'm sorry, but I just don't want you to do what I did... Good luck!!

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Hey, man.

 

Wow, well I've walked a mile in your shoes. Same situation I was just in, the whole delay, then jealousy, I know how you feel. See, I had told this girl I liked her a lot, and she told me she liked me too, so that made it a little easir for me. Funny thing was it still took 3 weeks to ask her out because were were never alone enough at any point, and so finally after lots of peer pressure after a Sixers basketball game I asked her kinda on the way to the car...kinda akward, but it worked.

 

For you, now. The signs show that she likes you, and I think the wink from her sister might mean that the 2 of them have "gossiped" about it, and that she knows the whole situation. thereforeeeeeee the wink might be an encouraging approval.

 

Another problem you seem to face is schedule conflicts. What you have to do is ask a week or more in advance. 5 days minimum I'd say for you. She needs time to plan out her week, maybe request of of work or something. Or maybe find out when she has work from her or from her friends or sister, and plan your time around that.

 

So once you get schedules all worked out, just get the nerve, don't think, and go for it!

 

Good luck, man, and tell me how it goes!

 

Your friend, Brian

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It sounds to me that this girl does have an interest in you and it is possible that she may have thought that you were not interested and that is why she backed off. I would see if you could try things out again. She accepted the offer to go out for the weekend with you so I am sure that her feelings havent changed and her response would not change either. Maybe you could suggest quick thigns to do that dont take up the whole night...like coffe or something. Maybe before work. it sounds like she would like to do something with you but that she just has a busy schedule. Another thing you could do is ask her a few weeks in advance to do something and see if she can get that day off....dont be discouraged. There is still a massive amount of hope here.

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Hi BleedingOrange,

 

My advice to you is to make your stand clear.

 

It is unwise to be ambiguous or uncertain when courting a girl. Like what Mermayd mentioned, she might have backed away thinking you are uninterested. Make it obvious that you like her. That V'Day card is not enough here. Send her flowers. Call her (not too often though) on the phone just to ask if she is doing alright. Go for some evening walks together.

 

I have felt that the guessing game IS a dangerous game. As it can go both ways. So, don't leave her in limbo. Go for it like a barracuda. Fast and swift!

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OK!

 

Here's what happened......

 

she basically told me she still wanted to date me, but said that I never call. Most of the time she wasn't home, she was at work or something. I called quite a bit and out of fear I was bothering her and thinking she was just too nice to say so, I kinda slacked up on calling.

 

Well.

 

I didn't think that was the problem.

 

I'm not sure exactly when I'd be calling enough or too much though. lol.

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