Female friends taking everything wrong after this breakup

[gettingworse]

I have a lot of female friends but some of them are scting weird after this breakup when they hadn't before. The weirdest was this lady from my english class who i went to lunch with. We had lunch and she tried to read some of my writings about the breakup but forgot her glasses. She said at the end "this was fun we should do it again next week"

 

i sent her the email with the writings and put "lunch was fun definitely have to do it again next week and that was it and she sent this

 

"I am sorry, but because I am married, I feel a bit uncomfortable with private lunches. I enjoyed our visit. I just think it better to be e-mail buddies for now. I hope your ok with that.

Friends,"

 

But we didn't have a private lunch. It was at a restaurant just like with any friend and it made me sad that she wrote that

 

She had said that it was the first time in 25 years of marriage she had gone to lunch alone with another guy when we were there.

 

But another friend also told me she just wanted to be friends this week too.

 

I am not hitting on anyone. I just want to be around my friends because I am lonely after my breakup but they feel weird I guess

 

What am I doing wrong?

[amipushy]

What am I doing wrong?

 

Going for lunch with married women maybe?

[jettison]

Hmmm. Well, it kind of sounds like you are not putting them enough at ease on a friend level so they are feeling like you are vibing them. So if that's true, it's still pretty tricky to train someone now to do that.

 

That said, my reply to a woman I wasn't interested in saying something like that to me would be something like, "Ha! You flatter yourself! You seem like a kind soul though. I'd love to meet your husband. Otherwise, thanks for the lunch."

 

But if you're getting this from other women then it's a more difficult approach. Try less eye contact, more concentrating on your surroundings and whatever it is you're doing, and pretend that you're there with a buddy and not a potentially attractive woman.

 

It also doesn't hurt to talk about your own women, dating, etc., and the best way to make is simple is even to bring up someone else, besides her, that you have a thing for. That way she doesn't sense that you're focusing on her in any way.

[rbr85]

Maybe they sense your neediness and your desire for approval in a time of grief and it's repelling them away. Instead of sharing poems with female friends, why don't you connect to some male friends and talk to them about your feelings. I think you will find that it's much better to connect with the guys in times like these, especially because they will give it to you straight.