Getting mad over the slightest things??

[yeawutever]

It is just me or did others notice how many people in relationships seem to get hurt easily over dumb things, thus getting upset and making a big deal over it?

 

Examples would be as follows:

 

1) Freaking out if your SO danced with another woman/man or they got grouped, let's say dirty dance

 

2) Writing insignificant things online to strangers you will never meet in person and they are like ''Omg you betrayed you, don't think I can trust you again, where did I go wrong counseling, counseling''. I would dump the man if he starts acting soooo absurd or probably be like ''Wow are you for real, LOL''

 

3) Smiling and flirting with members of opposite, well if you're personality is friendly, why should you not be friendly, or you gonna go walk with a mood expression on your face

 

4) Just because you lie about something stupid, they get mad at you for long, a day if possible, hey we all lie at times. It's not like you have to swear to tell the truth, nothing but the truth like on courts.

 

5) Once getting back together, you find out something they did while broken up and you get mad about it when it's none of your business (doesn't make sense)

 

6) Mainly women getting freak out just because their man watch porn, big deal, unless you expect them to be innocent 10 year-olds

 

and the list goes on, in general are we overly strict on this and freak out over silli stupid things????

[jettison]

It takes some pretty grounded with a healthy self-esteem to not freak out over jealousy triggers such as these.

 

However, sometimes people pic fights about anything at all because it's easier to fight about little things rather then what's really bothering you and feels to overwhelming to address. Picking fights over little stuff is a classic warning sign that something rather deep and troubling exists in the relationship.

[shemo]

People have different standards on what is acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship. What is a big deal for you may not be a big deal for the other person. That's why boundaries need to be established in the relationship. If you guys can't come to a compromise then it only sets you up for arguments in the future.

 

But to comment on your list, I personally have no issue if a bf watched porn but i would be pissed as hell if i saw someone groping my bf on the dance floor. SEE SEE NO TOUCH!!!!

[yeawutever]

Some people do not find that silly or insignificant. It depends what you expect from your mate.

 

I guess so, see I don't really have too many rules. The only 2 BIG NO'S for me is 1) Don't cheat physically (kissing to sex in real life person) and 2) No abuse tolerated.

 

Now that's simply enough for any man to understand it. But oh well you always hear from people of too many rules and expectations.

[yeawutever]

And as for the writing things online thing goes - it depends what you are writing and who you are writing too. If you are telling a member of the opposite sex that they are hot or something of that nature - its again disrespectful. You have a b/f or g/f you don't need to go behind their back. And while yes, everyone lies, it depends on what theyre lying about.

 

Think I was referring mostly to something like the following:

 

Online person you will never meet, ever in life and you......

 

Them: Hey wassup

You: Not much, bored, nothing to do so where you at

Them: In room what you doing

You: Just here, nothing really

Them: Can I see ya on cam

You: Sure (turning it on and they see your face)

Them: Ahh you so pretty, wish I was with ya screwing you

You: Yes it would be koooool

Them: You in relationship

You: Nope, just broke up with SO

Them: Kool, Ah I'm caressing ya know, getting inside you

and so on

 

Yes sure depends on the lie but then again if it's about rating them how great they are in bed and you know they suck at it sometimes, you not gonna be straight forwards and brutal about it. Or if you went shopping with parents, you might feel embarrassed to tell them that and might say something like ''I was with friends shopping or was busy on computer''.

[yeawutever]

It would be unnatural to not give a * * * * if your boyfriend/girlfriend was flirting and eyeing up other girls, wouldn't it? =/

 

I guess I got no reaction then, but if he overdoes it and focus more on than to the point of it becoming an addiction and having an impact on the relationship overall then it gets annoying.

[JadedStar]

in general are we overly strict on this and freak out over silli stupid things????

 

And who is "we"? Females? Humans? Men? People you deem unreasonable?

 

For starters, some of the things on that list are not just slight things to many people, to include me. You have written many posts about not thinking that striking it up and flirting it up with opposite gender online being an issue. Not everyone believes that way. If you don't want a partner to bring these issues up find a partner who does the same thing..just don't blow up on him when he does it.

[shikashika]

To the OP, yes I totally agree with you. There are many hysterical women out there who have hissy fits if the man they are with likes porn or heaven forbid... *dances* with another woman.

 

In cases like these it's the women who need counselling, or need to go and build up their self esteem. Instead, because they are upset with themselves or feelign insecure about themselves they lash out at their boyfriend.

 

It's quite sad and pathetic really.

 

People sure know how to ruin relationships over little things.

[JadedStar]

The problem with her statement is that some of those issues are far greater than others, and not every person has an issue with every single one. I found her list to be pretty ineffective because there is no real comparison to it to match it to any specific group of people.

 

I doubt anyone has ALL of those items as sticking points, maybe another person only has one beef on that list, and so on.

 

I don't know what her goal was in posting that. This is what I am trying to figure out.

[Seymore]

This makes me remember some of the silly arguments me and my ex got into. One In particular stands out at the moment.

 

She called me to get directions to work - she just moved from about 1/2 hour away and was unfamiliar with the area. I knew it like the back of my hand. So she tells me where she is and which direction she’s going in. I tell her it’s the third street on the right. She says “No, that’s the second”. I knew 100% without a doubt it was the third street, and that she was missing a street. So here I am, thinking she made a wrong turn, so I tell her she missed a street, and she starts getting angry with me, saying she’s in the right place, but she’s downright mean about it, and making it a point to point out that I was wrong and she was right, literally.

 

Later in the day, I called her from work to apologize for the way I acted, and said that I didn’t communicate well and wasn’t thinking (I don’t know why I apologized). She said “There’s nothing to apologize for. You were wrong and I was right. No big deal”. I started getting upset because here I am apologizing and she’s still going on. I told her that wasn’t necessary to say, and she got mad. We started fighting. Over something so STUPID, and I was trying to reconcile!

 

2 days later she goes the same way, and realizes she did in fact miss a street. She calls me to tell me, and then says she was right anyway because she perceived the street to be the second on the right at the time anyway, so technically it WAS the second on the right because SHE thought it was. Then she tells me AGAIN: "So you WERE wrong".

[nurse1986]

I agree with you on the whole porn issue....I never did understand why some women get all hysterical when they find out their man has been surfing porn. I mean, come on, at least your man isn't out screwing some $5 prosti...,right?

 

As for the little white lies...That is something that I do not tolerate well. Why would anyone have to lie about anything? Accept to the occasional kids...Santa Clause is still REAL! That's not considered a "lie" to me, it's considered bending the truth..lol

 

Brain fart!^^lol..I misspelled a word again!! I am so anal about that too! This time "accept" that was supposed to be "except"..lol I'm a terrible writer!

[shikashika]

I read it as a list of examples that people get all in a huff over nothing.

 

all of them individually are quite petty.

 

 

If someone chooses to get mad over little things like the ones on the list, then they can suffer the consequences. It's all down to choice as to how you react.

[JadedStar]

I don't think lies are acceptable, so I don't find that to be a 'petty' pesky little thing.

 

People who say 'it was just a small lie" are just trying to make excuses for themselves.

[shikashika]

I agree with you on the whole porn issue....I never did understand why some women get all hysterical when they find out their man has been surfing porn. I mean, come on, at least your man isn't out screwing some $5 prosti...,right?

 

 

This is a topic that seems to come up every 3 days on ENA and it's soooo tiring. Women who try and get their man to stop watching porn need to buck up and get some help. or just start watching porn as well.

[shikashika]

I don't think lies are acceptable, so I don't find that to be a 'petty' pesky little thing.

 

People who say 'it was just a small lie" are just trying to make excuses for themselves.

 

sure things are... like is someone is sobbing over a haircut that does look bad on them, even if they look god-awful... you can say something to twist the truth like, "well , it's not your greatest, but at least you can see more of yoru face"

 

When really, you wanted to say, "It's the worst thing i've ever seen. I'm embarrassed to be in public with you!"

[nurse1986]

^ I would flat out say "that hair cut is just not doing it, sister!"...why lie??? I would want to know if my hair looked hideous. I would count on my good friends to tell me that too! Are people supposed to walk around stepping on egg shells for people? I've done that my whole life and I refuse to do it...To me, lying about something like that is just as bad as telling the truth..lol

[Binoo]

To me, almost half the things on your list would be deal breakers [ 1, 2 and 3 ].

But from my perspective, if I witnessed this kind of behavoir from my partner, it would seem like they have a lack of respect and passion for me.

If anything, I think someone who gets pissy about stuff like that probably does so because they know they deserve better rather than it being a self esteem problem.

[shikashika]

^ I would flat out say "that hair cut is just not doing it, sister!"...why lie??? I would want to know if my hair looked hideous. I would count on my good friends to tell me that too! Are people supposed to walk around stepping on egg shells for people? I've done that my whole life and I refuse to do it...To me, lying about something like that is just as bad as telling the truth..lol

 

it's not a lie... i would never say the haircut looked good.

 

the truth is this happened on a friend's wedding day and the hairdresser completley messed up... not a time for the bride to be in tears when she looked beautiful, dress, body face... and she was beautiful... the hair was shocking though!

[nurse1986]

it's not a lie... i would never say the haircut looked good.

 

the truth is this happened on a friend's wedding day and the hairdresser completley messed up... not a time for the bride to be in tears when she looked beautiful, dress, body face... and she was beautiful... the hair was shocking though!

 

If it was me, I woulda tweeked it..lol I'm a hairdresser on the side tho...