Do we get only one shot?

[BusyNAbroad]

I don't think so.

 

What do you think?

 

If they reject us once, is it forever?

[pulse1989]

what could change their mind then if ur rejected now after you put in a bit of effort?

[sff123]

I think in theory no but it's more a matter of how much time you want to spend on one person and is persistence really going to help or do you have better odds by ignoring the person. I'm not sure of the answer to the 2nd question but the first question is more personal

[nurse1986]

Would you really want to wait around for someone to change?

[Sn0man]

I don't think so.

 

What do you think?

 

If they reject us once, is it forever?

Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

 

But why bother with someone who rejects you in the first place?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't think so.

 

What do you think?

 

If they reject us once, is it forever?

 

I don't think you can make blanket statements..it depends on the reason for rejection, it depends on circumstances, it depends on whether or not things have changed, people have changed etc. Many people have gotten back together after a split while many others haven't. It depends on the couple and what they have learned.

[dr_styles]

What do you think?

I say yes

 

If they reject us once, is it forever?

 

Because in most cases (I mean in real life, not me), people ask almost total strangers out; they say no, they never see them again anyway. Actually even for shy people like me it's a definite No in our minds because we'll be too embarrassed to even talk to them again.

 

If it's like a friend or a regular person you see, then it might be possible but as above depends on the circumstances.

[D_Lish]

One thing I've learnt, a second time around with someone rarely works either....never in my experience anyway.

 

But I agree with what CAD says....

[Portage]

I also agree with CAD, however, i think once one partner or both partners have been hurt by past issues it never feels the same.

 

Possibly the magic has faded and no matter how much you think you want it...it is fleeting.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I also agree with CAD, however, i think once one partner or both partners have been hurt by past issues it never feels the same.

 

Possibly the magic has faded and no matter how much you think you want it...it is fleeting.

 

 

I think a lot of times the magic has faded because the magic was really based on the fairy tale we are sold about what relationships are all about. People hurt each other, plain and simple..people argue, people fight...but true love is when you can overcome the hurdles and recognize that the "magic" was based on the fantasy of a trouble-free relationship. There is always trouble in relationships..always issues that come up...always slights and bruises...these things may not happen in the honeymoon period but if you are with someone past the honeymoon period issues are bound to come up.

[ghost69]

i've been rejected by a girl before based on circumstance. she had a bf. later down the road we dated for 2 years. but i didn't wait around for her.

[Day_Walker]

I dont think that you only get one shot with a person but I think a better question is should you only get one shot with a person? If you are the kind of person that likes to put in a lot of work and work for everything that you get with a girl then you will have more than one shot.

 

My thought has always been that when you get rejected, it means that something was missing in the other person's eyes. That missing something is just something that you will never have in that persons eyes. I like to acknowledge the rejection and move on because I do not wish to waste my time with a person who believes that I am lacking in some respect.

[Kinetics]

Regardless of circumstances, one shot is one shot. It's better to think that way, it's healthier.

[Imprecision]

We have as many shots as we want.

 

The past exists only in a person's memory. A person's memory changes over time. Sometimes, embellishments; other times, blemishes. The past is never how we remember it.

 

A person also changes many times during his life. When a person changes, his memory of the past changes.

 

Let's say a girl rejects you. If you continue to pursue her without interruption, you will drive her further away. You tend to harden her low estimation of you. Furthermore, you appear desperate and available. This is not good.

 

However, if you leave her alone for a while, then time will change her memory. When you see her again, she is forced to make a new estimation of you. Then, you have a good chance of getting her.

 

Personally, I have been rejected by girls, who later accepted me. So it's definitely possible.

 

There are several exceptions:

 

1. You are a player. Some players hit on a girl hard whenever they see her, or whenever they are bored. They compliment her on her beauty (instead of negging her, which most pick-up artists prefer). But players are not clingy. They always have many options.

 

Sudden and overwhelming attention is flattering for many women.

 

2. As mentioned in (1), you should always have many options. This way, you will never be desperate and clingy. Players like women. But they like all women. That's key.

 

3. thereforee, maximise your chances. If a girl rejects you, put her on the backburner for a while. Hang out with other girls. After a while - maybe you're bored, or maybe you want sex, or maybe you just need a bedmate - call her up. Perhaps she'll have changed her mind.

[paperneck]

i'm trying again for what is probably the twelfth time with the same girl(no exageration.) The odds are against you, but if you think it's worth doing a time will probably come up where you can try again. If it falls apart remember you made a decision to take that risk, and the pain is almost entirely your own fault.

[drewciouS281]

I don't think so.

 

What do you think?

 

If they reject us once, is it forever?

 

depends on the impression you leave. if you get rejected try to have a smooth come back to it and act all non scholant about it. It is possible.

[epsilon2x]

Who cares if you only get one shot? Why give them that much control? Go and find a new girl. Don't sit around hoping for someone to change their mind. Obviously you took a rejection and it wasn't that bad, it won't be so bad if you take another one from someone else.

[MattW]

I'd like to think it's possible to have another shot (or, at least, hope so... heh, see my thread if ya wanna know why). I think people's perception can change over time, and sometimes it's just poor circumstances that you get rejected the first time.

 

And I guess I can see why "pursuing one person" is considered unhealthy; I mean, it can lead to full-on obsession. But when we grow attached to some one, it can be hard to just shrug it off after getting rejected. Especially with people like me, where finding a girl I'd really like to be with is so rare in the first place. Ah well, 's all I got.