Emzy-x Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Ok so i cant make any sense of thiis maybe someone can help me. Im 17 years old almost 18...I have been lesbian ever since i remember, ive known this girl for about 2-3 years now, and we started chatting and got really close, problem was she's straight. She told me that she has never thought about a women in the way she thinks about me, and that shes fallen in love with me, she likes to be intimate with me, and we decided to start a realtionship on the quite...we have been together about 2 months now i just want to know could she just be confused? or what? could it be a phase? she is determined she is not lesbian or bisexual and she dosent even understand it. I would just like some advice before i get myself too involved. Thanks Link to comment
xCOREx Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 "she is determined she is not lesbian or bisexual and she dosent even understand it" i think understanding "it" is about understanding ones self. it could be a phase or maybe not no one could say except maybe her and even then. I think oyu should keep going for it. in the end theres nothing to lose and everythingto gain imo. Link to comment
rosephase Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 People are all different, she might not know what she wants yet. She might be finding herself. She might be scared. Have you asked her now that you have been seeing each other for awhile, what she thinks she is? Gay, straight, or bi? And if she is with you and you like her does it matter what she calls herself? Link to comment
Emzy-x Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 Thanks yeah i asked her and she said that she is straight. Can your sexuallity change? Link to comment
xCOREx Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 to me sexual pref is part of a state of mind and yes states of mind can change. its a physical thing (chems in brain make feelings) that can morph. but if she says shes straigh why is she wanting you etc. i think she should think about why she says shes straight. I am straight and i am not sexual with ppl of same sex and at this point no sex at all but i am sexual still. idk i feel like sexual pref is really byproduct of something else. a pref of other things. you want to be sexual if you find value to it and so ppls ideas and feelings and thoughs change and we all grow in dif ways so theres no reason it cant change but id try and tlak to her to see why it is shes set on determining to be straight. I see myself as not sexual or sexual. soemtimes im sexual and sometimes im not. when im sexual i find it to be important to be with someone whom i might bear a child with. some call this straight but to me its a specific choice at that given point in time. im not attracted to ppl of same sex for a lot of reasons from social pressure to the fact that i could never bear child. ( i dont want a child but i like knowing that its a part of what i choose to do that is what makes me not have intercourse cause i feel with this person i am not ready to have a child.) i guess im ashamed to have sex for pleasure as if i do it for pleasure i should have sexual things with men to why discrimintae. but if i have sexual things for having offspring then i should only have sex when i want a child ... which i dont. idk IM CONFUSING>ASDIHJASDO?IHASDOI. point being maybe shes a lil confusing too. and i think tlaking more about it ... well her talking more about it will help you determine what you should do. sorry im not help on this one. Link to comment
Davie Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Emzy - Some people are scared of being gay or bi (mostly guys) so she might be suppressing it, I think she could be bi. Link to comment
Emzy-x Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 thank you very much Link to comment
Davie Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I probably wasn't useful at all, but you're more than welcome Link to comment
greywolf Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 When my ex and I got together we both identified as straight. At first we both insisted that we were straight but we had just somehow fallen in love with a woman. It's kind of a romantic idea if you think about it. It wasn't till a couple of months later that we started to identify as bisexual. Link to comment
Penny_Lane Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I think many people are capable with falling in love with someone of the same sex. And the thing is that sometimes you don't even know it until it happens. I also know of some people, actually one of my close friends is one of them, she fell in love and is currently in a relationship with a girl but she still identifies as straight. She says that she doesn't like or is attracted to any other girls, except for her girlfriend. So yeah...sexuality can be pretty complicated. Link to comment
pianoguy Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 If it was me, the next time she says that she's straight I'd gently point out that straight girls don't have romantic relationships with other girls and see how she responds. You don't want to push her too hard but it sounds like she's in denial over something here. And be careful yourself- people who aren't comfortable with their sexuality make for extremely dramatic and frustrating relationships. How old is your friend (girlfriend? what do you call each other?) Link to comment
sunset sun rise lover Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 um yeah it can happen i identified as straight once then my sexuality changed into a lez Link to comment
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