solas Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ok, bit of a weird one, but this is the internet!!! Im a single guy, (now!) and have a daughter of 6 that lives with me, i was with a girl for approx two years, who i loved very much. Im working for myself in construction. The girl i was with also works for herself in retail. We were living together in her house. I came home from work one day and she told me that she "couldn't do this with the likes of me"...fcuking straight up!!! that was the end of it... Anyway long and short of it, she told me for approx 6months she was waiting for a way out...fair enough, this happens...im no longer as hurt as i was when i happened... But in that period, i had put work off to firstly re-fit her shop, secondly renovate her home...this at the time i was doing as you do as part of the relationship, but now it just seems a little timely on completion of work that she wanted me gone... All of the usual hurt and * * * * i can live with, i've learned a valuable lesson in letting an outsider close to my daughter, this was probably the hardest part of everything... anyway, it transpires over the past few months, that she has been potraying me in an unfavourable light, i live and work in a small town... even though i always worked day and night at our relationship... 6 months on and my initial gut feeling that she was simply using me has not left... I feel like sending her the bills for time, and work given...she had re-imbursed me just about for monies spent on material im just looking for opinions...do i just let it go and call it lesson learned, or do i make a point of it by billing her like a client, im under no illusion that she would have and has billed my family full whack in her business... am i just being petty?? or do i have a right to feel agrieved and used with what i still regard as being used and lied to... Up to the day before it happened she was still telling me she loved me...Every day i was breaking my back in her house she told me she loved me...i actually feel conned and cheated... ok...i'd appreciate some input Link to comment
Emernate Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 If the dust just settled, sending a bill will most likely just kick it all up again. She paid for materials so you are just out on your time which is something we can never get back. I say leave it alone and keep this as a lesson learned. Link to comment
alli Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Well, if you offered to do it for her with no intention of being paid for your time than she is under no obligation to pay you. You could send her a bill but it probably won't work. If she is speading untrue information about you & it is hurting your business, you can warn her that she needs to stop or else you will sue her for slander. Link to comment
Mun Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Oh it sucks to feel like you were just being used. I would send her the bill ! just don't be surprised if she sends you one back for the babysitting, food, laundry, housekeeping and anything else--assuming she did these for you. Sometimes it's classier to just walk away and write off the "bad investment" as a lesson learned. Best of luck to you. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 she's just going to say you were doing on your own accord and considered it a "gift." it will not get you anywhere...i'd just move on Link to comment
deleted-account Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I think sending a bill would be quite childish. Whatever work you did for her was in the context of the relationship and can be seen as work you did for both of your future. People give and take. I'm sure you got things from her over the course of the relationship. There was never an agreement that you would be paid for your work. As someone else mentioned, if she's hurting your business with slander then you should take action on that. Link to comment
solas Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 I think sending a bill would be quite childish. Whatever work you did for her was in the context of the relationship and can be seen as work you did for both of your future. People give and take. I'm sure you got things from her over the course of the relationship. There was never an agreement that you would be paid for your work. As someone else mentioned, if she's hurting your business with slander then you should take action on that. yeah i pretty much had guessed at this point that i was being a little petty (a little ha ha!), something you said struck a chord, and something the previous person said struck a chord... she never got involved in the care of my daughter, maybe because i was protective of her in that way, but over the course of two years i can count on one hand the amount of times she was charged with care ! ...and as for things i got over the course of the relationship... NIL... Its only after everything is over and hindsight not being my friend that i see what a walkover i was for this girl...some stupid thing in my head thought i was doing the best by her and for her...she was only out for what she could take and gave little in return but heartbreak As for the slander...and it is slander...the reason i'd decided or not decided to bill her was to shut her up...its quite easy to give the bill to a solicitor to chase up...people have a tendency to tread carefully when there's considerable sums of money involved... ok ... ill give this some thought before letting it go one way or the other thanks for the input, its well appreciated...i still find it funny how easy peace is to find once you talk openly about whats in the head Link to comment
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