sahara56 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 My GF and I have been on/off for about a year It all came to a head this weekend when she did some pretty silly things whilst drunk, but then I havent been very loving to her either So, she now asks for a 1 week break (and I am travelling the next week, so it may become 2 weeks). After the first day I sent her SMS, emails about various things like normal, but also an apology card and so forth She hasn't responded to anything except one email about a job opportunity I got sent. I also called her and she was OK but wouldnt accept dinner plans. I don't know what the "rules" are on this? Are we over? Can we/her sleep around? Do I leave her totally alone? I feel the longer this unnecessary silence goes on, the less inclined I am to pick back up where we left off (as I had just started feeling really close to her, now this!?!?) Link to comment
DN Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 If I were you I would not contact her again - you have already done enough, maybe too much. Interesting that you apologised but she did not for her behaviour. After the week let her be the one to contact you. If she doesn't, especially after you return from your trip, then I would assume this is a break up rather than a break and move on. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 A break IMO means no contact at all. Its sorta a trial run to see if one should be single or not based on the status of the relationship. Dont contact her. Distance makes the heart grow fonder to some cases. If the break continues more than a couple weeks i would start preparing yourself for the case that its over. In majority of cases a break leads to a break up. To some people it is considered the same thing. If you worried about her hookin up with other people, you guys should have set guide lines there. Some people will meet other people and then if you guys got back together her excuse would be "we were on a break". so thats something that should have been covered before you went on a break. Either way, its not a good thing so start preparing yourself emotionally and leave her alone. the more you contact her the longer the break she will want. give her the time to miss you. Link to comment
savignon Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 If she asked for a 7 day break and you've already been in touch several times by email and phone, she may feel that you're not respecting her space. That's certainly how I would feel and then would be more inclined to break it off ...you're kind of enforcing why she should need some time to herself. Anyways, it sounds like there can't be many more days left, right? So, you'll have your answer soon. Link to comment
alli Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I think the idea of "taking a break" is ridiculous. Call it what it is: a breakup. A "break" implies that it is temporary & the relationship will continue, when in reality the relationship generally does not. Calling it a break up makes it clear what is going on & there is no expectation of getting back together, and it would make it a pleasant surprise if they decided to get back together, rather than an unpleasant surprise that the "break" never ends. But yeah, if she wants a break it will not help your case to continue contacting her, she will just get more annoyed with you. People who are on a break do not continue the relationship during that time as if nothing has happened & have dinner together. Link to comment
sahara56 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 Thanks for your comments She wants more love/attention from me, but I've only recently begun feeling that towards her and now this happens which makes me feel more distant as I would rather sort it out by talking about our issues, not ignoring them I dont want to waste my time with another "break" and have no idea what it means. I know that I should leave it alone, but I find this really annoying and frustrating and want to ask straight up is it a break up or not? If not, then lets talk about stuff!! Not a good idea? Link to comment
Jaywade05 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 nope not a good idea =[ Link to comment
Jaywade05 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 hit us back after you call her and say that though i'm thinking that your next move Link to comment
sahara56 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 I decided to send SMS this morning - I have good will power if I want to, but I just decided I wanted to do it I told her "I love you" via SMS - which, even though we have been out for a year, I have never said face to face yet. I know it seems like a crazy-long period, but there has been a lot of things on both sides and only lately I realised it. No response. Link to comment
alli Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I decided to send SMS this morning - I have good will power if I want to, but I just decided I wanted to do it I told her "I love you" via SMS - which, even though we have been out for a year, I have never said face to face yet. I know it seems like a crazy-long period, but there has been a lot of things on both sides and only lately I realised it. No response. I know you really want to talk to her & make things better but you really need to not contact her for the week. By continuing to contact her, she probably interprets that you will not respect her wishes and you really don't want her to view you so unfavorably right now. Let us know how it goes when the week is up. Link to comment
LBP Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 And saying I love you via text is pretty weak. Link to comment
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