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A lot of time has passed since I last mentioned this problem, a problem which has been burdening my heart a lot, but I think that I am getting closer to understanding the full extent of what really happened. Even though it sounds silly, I kindly ask you to take this seriously.


In order to solve this puzzle, we need to think of it as a romantic novel with a strong narrative and fictional element, and behave accordingly. I obviously wasted more time and emotions than I should have, I almost got depressed, but I am putting things back into perspective... especially because I slowly started seeing things from her point of view.


I would be grateful to you if you didn't read the following as if you were to give me advice personally, but like a story, or a movie, which needs your ideas to reach a happy ending

I really think this way we can reach a positive outcome.


The Distracted Lover


SHE is, or believes to be, an adult in a committed relationship.

One day she meets her teenage sweetheart whom she was in love with at school.

She slowly tries to seduce him so that she can have a secret affair with him.

She sends many signals and one day tells him about her intentions.

He seems to be cool about the situation although he never explicitly asks anything.

He always speaks mysteriously, sometimes saying very romantic things, sometimes disappearing.

She isn't sure whether he understood everything she said.

They plan to meet one day, secretly, to spend some secret time alone. The big day!

However, he acts very differently from what she expected. He speaks and speaks, more like a friend willing to have a nice chat, instead of using her and making her wildest dreams come true, and doesn't even have sex with her.

When she starts kissing him, he sometimes even laughs, as if it was a joke, and saying weird things that have nothing to do with the moment.

(He was waiting like a frog with dreamy eyes until she removed her bra...)

He seems totally unreactive to some of her advances and becomes aloof.


She goes back home and thinks that he wasn't listening to her and taking her seriously, and so she is a bit frustrated...


The next day he comes and starts talking to her like a silly little child saying stupid romantic things but doesn't seem to have a clue about why she is angry with him, and then starts saying "Sorry" for everything (even things he didn't do). Perhaps he's doing it on purpose and just keeps saying foolish things. Or perhaps he never understood what she wanted from him.


She gives up and doesn't talk to him ever again.




You, dear reader, have a chance to make the story have a happy ending. The Distracted Lover had amnesia or some strange problem the day they spent together, but he really wants to make up and make her wildest dreams come true.


What should The Distracted Lover do to make it up and make her happy again?



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The next day when she gets home from work she finds that someone is in the house. Instead of calling the cops, she walks in to find rose petals on the floor leading to the kitchen table, with a dinner for two already cooked, candles lit, and her secret lover pouring her favorite wine into the wine glasses. The two have a very nice dinner. Not even a word is spoken; they just gaze into each others eyes, not even eating the meal. Finally she makes the move to invite him to the bedroom. He can't even get the door shut before she starts kissing him and unbuttoning his clothes. They head to the bed and enjoy the best love-making either of them ever had, both seduced by the other, loss of control and completely lost in the moment.


The next morning her secret lover awakes and goes to kiss her and leave. Before leaving he drinks a glass of wine on the counter. But it is too late. She poisoned the wine for herself, feeling lost and hopeless out of her love for both her secret lover and her boyfriend. Seeing what had happened, she drank the wine as well, and invited him back in for a little longer. They went back to the bedroom and made love one last time. Afterward they fell asleep in each others arms, never to wake again.



Really though, what type of happy ending are you looking for? She obviously wants her teenage sweetheart, but at the same time is in a committed relationship looking to have a secret affair with him. Someone is going to be hurt somewhere down the line, unless she has an open relationship with her boyfriend (but it said a committed relationship)


Reminds me of that song 'Secret Lovers', which is practically advocating cheating while both involved parties are married.

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I could write a happy ending. But that doesn't entail you cheating on your SO. Don't worry, you will have your affair. You just haven't found the guy who will give it to you yet. You seem to be the type that will tear your boyfriends/fiances/husbands heart out eat it and then look at him and say "what's the matter?"

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Come on folks... can't you stick to what I ask for once?


OK, it's very complicated to explain, but I am the "Distracted Lover". In fact, I was indecisive and full of thoughts about her, not knowing what to do. I also know that she believes to be in a relationship... but she isn't. It's a kind of fantasy or fetish of hers, and she seems to want to this to follow the dynamics of a secret affair with me.

However, I blew it with my inconfidence and indecisiveness the day we spent together...

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