Wow I feel so much better

[thorpe]

Quick summary. I've been divorced for 13 years and my wife has completely moved on, but I haven't apart form one ill fated attempt at dating that was doomed by my extreme neediness. Longest NC period was about 3 years then I received a email from her with a bit of news and her new email. I got into a pattern of sending her a birthday card and we exchange a few emails through out the year about old friends and banal bits of our lives.

 

Over the Holidays I really started to miss her, particularly at parties. I avoided the drunken night time email only to email her the next morning. It was a pleasant recap of the festivities and news I'd heard there, but I was really hurting inside. After a week of that pit of the stomach, self pity, my life is over depression I'm coming out of it after reading here and a bit of link removed therapy. No connections yet, but even the act of trying helped. I was still considering sending her something on Valentine's Day. It was a manic episode where I went back an forth between 1 dozen yellow roses and a card. Then on the radio I heard a message machine recording of some looser guy basically stalking a woman and that snapped me back to reality and I'm back on the NC wagon and feel far better about life. I still need work on the emotions though.

[pumpkinmoon]

That is great. I am glad you have started to feel better

[Sparkie]

Glad to hear things are on the up again. Maybe you have let yourself get down on you in general, and are hiding behind the divorce a bit so you can avoid a fresh start? Maybe 2009 is the year of the thorpe! Hope so. Good work getting past the holiday blues

[liquer]

Glad you feel better and are moving on. Keep thinking positively.