LadyWantsMor Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I am 45 and take Lexapro due to PMDD. However, I have an incredible desire for sex. I have recently reunited with my ex-husband who has an extremely low libido but he is everything I want and need in a partner.....except. I am willing to live without sexual intimacy to have him in my life but the overwhelming desire that occurs every month like clock work lasts for 3 - 4 days and is impossible to ignore. Every search I have tried has resulted in ways to increase libido or simply refer to SSRI's as having the side-effect of decreasing libido. Thank you in advance for any sincere suggestions. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You are probably just in your sexual prime. Some women just get more sexual as they get older....I wish i had some advice for you but can't really think of anything meaningful. Can you not try to encourage him to be more playful? Even if he can't last as long as you like would he be willing to be adventurous with you using toys, etc? I am 42 and i can't really imagine being with a guy who had a very low libido. I like sex way more now than i did in my 20s. We get more comfortable in our own skin, we ladies, as we get older and that makes sex more enjoyable for many of us. I hope you find some advice here that works....good luck! Link to comment
mr_iwi Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The age-old punchline of "wedding cake" is probably not what you want to hear right now. All joking aside, Google tells me that Zoloft is the sort of thing you should be looking at. As it's a drug primarily for depression and anxiety, I've no idea whether this is appropriate for you or not. From the information I've found online, it seems that increasing the seratonin in your brain is the reason libido drops, so you could take seratonin supplements. The first thing I would do is check with a doctor before taking anything, rather than relying on the word of someone who has a South Park character as his avatar. Link to comment
LadyWantsMor Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 You are probably just in your sexual prime. Some women just get more sexual as they get older....I wish i had some advice for you but can't really think of anything meaningful. Can you not try to encourage him to be more playful? Even if he can't last as long as you like would he be willing to be adventurous with you using toys, etc? I am 42 and i can't really imagine being with a guy who had a very low libido. I like sex way more now than i did in my 20s. We get more comfortable in our own skin, we ladies, as we get older and that makes sex more enjoyable for many of us. I hope you find some advice here that works....good luck! Thanks for the reply....no, no encouragement will work unfortunately. He is 51 and takes medication for his heart and blood pressure as well as some pretty deep-seeded emotional stuff that has really eliminated any desire for him whatsoever. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The age-old punchline of "wedding cake" is probably not what you want to hear right now. All joking aside, Google tells me that Zoloft is the sort of thing you should be looking at. As it's a drug primarily for depression and anxiety, I've no idea whether this is appropriate for you or not. From the information I've found online, it seems that increasing the seratonin in your brain is the reason libido drops, so you could take seratonin supplements. The first thing I would do is check with a doctor before taking anything, rather than relying on the word of someone who has a South Park character as his avatar. Nothing wrong with the choice of a southpark avvy! LOL Link to comment
LadyWantsMor Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 The age-old punchline of "wedding cake" is probably not what you want to hear right now. All joking aside, Google tells me that Zoloft is the sort of thing you should be looking at. As it's a drug primarily for depression and anxiety, I've no idea whether this is appropriate for you or not. From the information I've found online, it seems that increasing the seratonin in your brain is the reason libido drops, so you could take seratonin supplements. The first thing I would do is check with a doctor before taking anything, rather than relying on the word of someone who has a South Park character as his avatar. Well, I don't watch Southpark and I don't get the "wedding cake" punchline - feel free to explain that if you'd like Lexapro is an SSRI like Zoloft which I took some years ago after losing my mom to cancer and it didn't decreas my libido either...I was with a very "active" man at that time but he was no where near a great guy like my ex who I have reunited with. I'm just trying to find something that might help until I get old enough to not care about sex anymore - OY! I have checked with my doctor and she was not able to increase/change meds or have any solution....so here I am talking to "someone who has a South Park character as his avatar"! Thanks for the reply all the same! Link to comment
mr_iwi Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The "wedding cake" punchline is based on quite an old joke based on the stereotype of women not wanting to have sex with you once they've married you. I still stand by not taking medical advice from me though. I look an awful lot like my avatar, and picturing him wielding a scalpel and wearing scrubs is not something that encourages a good night's rest. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 well as has been said, anti depressants are the main cure for decreasing libido, but as it seems your doctor wont allow you down that route, invest in some toys, they should help. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 How many mg are you on for Lexapro? I'm on it for Anxiety, I've been on it for almost 3 months. At first, I was scared because I was reading alot of things online that it DECREASES your libido, thats the most common side affect, and I've always had a VERY high sex drive. But since I've been on it, it seems to of increased. Same thing happened to one of my best friend's and hair dresser who also take it. But obviously I can deal with it because I see my boyfriend one weekend a month and then on holidays, I'm an animal when I see him, but I'm not in danger of cheating or jumping on every guy I see. Lol it's not like that. I think medicine affects people differently, and since you are on it there isn't much you can do to stop the horniness. Maybe decrease the dose, but there really isn't much I can think of to lower your drive. Link to comment
liquer Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Most men whould not consider what you have a problem! Just enjoy it, it will regulate itself naturally. Link to comment
jsx730 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I take a small dosage (10mg) of Zoloft and it hasn't affected my libido. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Yeah I take 10mg of Lexapro. My boyfriend has always had a lower drive then me, but he sure doesn't complain! lol. Link to comment
LadyWantsMor Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 I'm taking 20 mg for the 10 days just prior to my cycle then take 10 mg the remainder of the month for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). Seems there is nothing I can do but thanks to all for the feedback. Link to comment
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