justanotherhurtguy Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ok so my gf and I haven't had sex in a while. I try to be romantic and I don't push and I miss just pleasing her, but I always get shot down. Excuses include, too tired, have to get ready for work, "not tonight", etc. Nothing has changed as far as stress for her. We got into a couple fights, but have straightened things out. Now I'm worried that she doesn't find me attractive anymore or is cheating, etc. I've been getting upset, I briefly discussed it with her saying she wasn't showing affection and she says something along the lines of "because I didn't want to do anything last night?" in a snotty tone. I have needs too but I don't want to come off as having no confidence or having her do it just to shut me up. Any suggestions or advice? Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Have you tried talking to her about this away from the bedroom? Link to comment
justanotherhurtguy Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 When we talked about it before we were in the living room during the middle of the day. To be frank, I wouldn't even know how to start it. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 How frequently were you having sex before that? Is this the longest you have gone without in the relationship? Link to comment
simply complicated Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Just come out with it, don't beat around the bush, like "ahh umm yea ah honey" just tell her straight up, first off, how often were you having sex before?, cause if it was on a regular basis then suddenly it stopped, well, then you definitely have the right to ask her about it. Just be like "look it's been two weeks, whats going on"? Link to comment
DropToZero Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I hate to sound pessimisstic (sp?)... but like when my girlfriend and I both decided to stop having sex(due to beliefs), all her friends first thoughts on it to her were "he's cheating on you." So without her having a reason besides an excuse... you should be talking with her about it, she should be able to tell you why... Link to comment
redrose85 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I had this problem in my relationship in the past. I was just being lazy, preoccupied with other things, and let sex fall onto the back burner. It took awhile for him to get through to me about how it was hurting him AND our relationship. It also took a lot of communication, which you and your gf need. You need to talk about it, and be able to talk about it without awkwardness. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You need to talk to her about it. Excuses like "I'm too tired" are just lame excuses. If you are sleeping in the same bed, you have time for a quickie at least. Even if you dont' live together, but you do live in the same town and you see each other, there is no reason why she can't have sex, if the relationship is healthy. If she just doesn't feel like it, then she is being selfish. You have needs as well and if you are already sexually active, then she shouldn't be pushing you away like this. Something else may be up, because this is not normal. Hope you get an honest answer from her. Link to comment
DeviousDevil Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 In my previous relationship, when the sex became infrequent, it should have been an early warning that she was no longer into me and that the end was only a matter of time. Had I been more experienced in relationships it could have prepared me better and I could have protected myself better. Good luck. Link to comment
Nutz Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Ok so my gf and I haven't had sex in a while. I try to be romantic and I don't push and I miss just pleasing her, but I always get shot down. Excuses include, too tired, have to get ready for work, "not tonight", etc. Nothing has changed as far as stress for her. We got into a couple fights, but have straightened things out. Now I'm worried that she doesn't find me attractive anymore or is cheating, etc. I've been getting upset, I briefly discussed it with her saying she wasn't showing affection and she says something along the lines of "because I didn't want to do anything last night?" in a snotty tone. I have needs too but I don't want to come off as having no confidence or having her do it just to shut me up. Any suggestions or advice? I'm going to guess you guys have been together for a while. SOP in these situations is she's either seeing someone else, or feels she has you locked in and doesn't have to please you anymore. In either case it's time to show her the door. Otherwise the next thing you know she's knocked up with some other guy's kid, or she'll gain a ton of weight and all that crap and expect you to tolerate it. Link to comment
Sanguine Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I would talk to her about it. Ask her straight up "Why haven't we been having sex like we were?" and don't let her use the same excuse that she's tired. If she doesn't have a quick answer she COULD be cheating on you. Odds are, if everything is going good except the sex, she is just bored with it. Try being harder to hang out with, don't always be there when she wants you there. She might think you'll be there when she wants you to be so she doesn't care to try since you're putting in all the work..if you keep putting in more work she'll do less. It should be equal. If you back off and she doesn't care then I would break it off with her. If you back off she'll probably freak out and try harder. Girls AND guys want what they can't have.. she knows she has you where she wants you so she feels comfortable doing her own thing and putting off sex. Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.707652b1f845175b2f35e03ba7f1673e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.2d93ce2472f26b01a1e185382ba0b64e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.