Reconciliation after...

[Sturmhouse]

Has anyone reconciled after being dumped by someone who had doubts for months? Like, not a sudden falling out of love, but someone who had doubts for months and really thought about the decision - made it - and then after X amount of time decided they made a mistake? If so, was it their decision that they made a mistake, or was it the exhibition of changes which caused them to fall back in love, or a combination of both?

 

Post your experiences, I'd like to hear them!

[COtuner]

My current situation is kind of that. My BF and I were having serious doubts about each other and broke up. We reconciled a couple months later but are still going very slow and recognize that we still have issues to work through. He loves me very very much and I'm not sure of my feelings quite yet. I haven't quite recovered from his hurting me, but I am giving him latitude and time to work on that. I loved him very much until he emotionally beat the heck out of me while I was going through a personal trauma

[Sturmhouse]

Yikes...I just wonder if female dumpers do this, ever? My gal dumped me after 3 years, known her for 6. She has no ill feelings towards me, just says she feels like we were friends, not romantically involved. Had doubts about living with me for the rest of her life, because I wasn't affectionate enough, didn't put her first. Right now I'm on day 11 or 12 of NC, and I wonder if she misses me or would ever consider...Some variables are similar to other stories i've read, but I haven't read too many Female DUMPER stories where they initiate contact a month or two down the road.

[COtuner]

Hmmm. I do believe they do... my unproven theory is that those dumpers with a strong support network of people encouraging them to move on are least likely to contact again. It's those who are very emotional, or maybe somewhat introverted, or in any case not prone to listening to the crowd who come around and ask to try again.

[Sturmhouse]

My gal said in an e-mail that "everyone" close to her said I was an * * * * * * * , she deserved better, and that I wasn't right for her.

 

This, I know, is unequivocal bull * * * * . Every friend of hers that has been around me for more than a couple hours ends up liking me a lot. Two of her best friends were MY friends that I introduced her to, and they've known me for YEARS. Her family adores me. However, her best best friend hates me and I've only met her once. She's not a great friend, but whatever.

 

She did deserve better, and I can be an * * * * * * * (though was never intentionally one to her), but I believe we are RIGHT together, I just needed a breakup to teach me what a woman needs in a relationship.

[LilBear]

Have never reconciled. I wanted to back then but he wasn't interested. Then weeks later, I realized why would anyone wanna get back with someone who dumped them in the first place? You deserve someone who wants to be with you and wants to stay in love with you.

[Sturmhouse]

Well, the fundamental disagreement we have is that the changes she want to make are personality traits that can not be changed. I beg to differ, they're just bad habits I had from being single my whole life...Never really adjusted to actually having a girlfriend. Relatively easily changeable and correctable, in my book - trick is convincing her of that.