He's 2500 miles away now.

[DGB89]

It's long... I'm sorry!

 

I have been seeing "Jason" for 2.5 years now.

We have been through a lot together.

A miscarriage, three funerals (two in his family, one on mine), he moved accross the country to Mississippi and we still made it work. I ended up moving there to be with him.

We get along great together, we have been best friends for 3 years.

We moved back to Washington in June.

All his family is in Mississippi, all of mine is in Washington.

We couldn't find good jobs in Mississippi, but we knew we could find a job in Washington. Jobs that paid better, too.

So we moved back up here, stayed at my parent's house for a month until we got our own apartment.

He didn't like being here much until he found a job.

Before he found a job he would say things like, "If I don't get a job and we aren't out of your parents house by the end of the month, I'm going back to Missisippi."

Note: he hates my parents.

Everything went back to how it always was when we both had a job and we got our apartment.

He asked me to marry him, I said yes.

He wasn't mad about not having a job or living at my parents house anymore, obviously.

In September he quit his job.

Just out of the blue.

He called me while I was at work at told me.

He said he hated his job and that he would find a new one.

By October he still hadn't found one and we couldnt afford to pay our bills and eat, so I found a part time job. I started work at 8am, had a lunch break at noon, got off work at 5pm, went to my other job at 5:30pm and got off around 10-11pm almost everyday. Saturdays and Sundays were a little different because I only worked that one second job, but my shift was normally 5pm-1am.

Slowly Jason started drinking more and more after I got the second job.

And, unlike how he acted before we moved to Washington, when he got drunk he got mad.

He never laid a hand on me, but he would start accusing me of cheating on him with guys from work and saying I never had time for him and he was going back to Mississippi because I don't care about him anymore and he never gets to spend time with me.

I would reply with I have to work because you don't have a job, I can't quit. Without both jobs we can't afford to pay all our bills, let alone eat.

This would just make him more angry and he would end up walking out and coming back after a couple hours and apologizing.

I would let it slide, but it started happening everytime he would drink, which stated happening almost nightly.

Finally I put my foot down one day and told him if he wanted to be with me he needed to stop drinking. I wouldn't tollorate it anymore.

He agreed and things went smoothly for a few weeks.

Then one day at my second job I volunteered to take a longer shift at work because sombody called in sick.

I sent him a text as soon as I decided to work later. It said something like, "Hey baby, somebody called in sick at work tonight and I volunteered to take their shift. Do you want me to pick anything up on my way home?"

I never got a response.

I got off work and he was mad at me when I got home.

He was sober this time and started going on about how I never have time for him and I am always at work.

Another note: During this time he wouldn't look for a job unless I was with him, which wasn't very often. Usually on weekends before work.

He didn't get angry or mean about it though like he did when he was drunk, he was mellow and looked very upset. We talked about it and he told me he was going to start looking for a job harder and that way I could quit my second job and we could spend more time together.

Well, he did that for one... maybe two days.

This kept going on and on, he would be mad that I worked so much and when I got home all he would do was complain about how he never sees me and I never have time to do anything with him.

We would have our good days and bad days... the good days seemed to only be when I had the night off from my second job, which was only one or two days a week.

 

His mom decided to visit us for Christmas.

I worked Christmas Eve until 8pm.

I was at work and he texts me and says "We need to have a talk when you get off work."

Turns out he had been talking to his mom and she agreed with him on everything.

Told him that she thinks I don't care about him and that my priorities are somewhere else.

She told him that if he wants to go back down to Mississippi with her she would gladly take him.

Just so that we can take a break and I have time to get my head straight and figeur out what I want.

 

So, I talked him out of leaving I thought. We talked until about 4am Christmas morning and then all night Christmas night.

We decided he should try to find a job, and if that doesn't work after a month or so that I would help pay for him to go back to school.

I had no problem with this, it's better than him sitting at the house all day doing nothing at all.

I worked again the night of the 30th until 10pm.

I had lost some money at work and had to pay it out of my own pocket and completely forgot that he had asked me to pick some food up on my way home (we only had one car, btw).

I got home and he saw I didn't get food and is instantly upset.

I saw this and remembered that he had asked me to get him food.

I apologize and offer to leave and go get it. Asked him if he wanted to come with me, etc.

He says no, forget it.

Starts making comments about how I am always forgetting about him.

I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen.

The next day (New Years Eve) on my lunch break I went home and saw him.

He was still upset at me and didn't want to talk much.

So, an hour later I head back to work and he texts me and tells me he is going to go back to Mississippi with his mom because I don't want to be with him anymore.

I never have time for him, I'd be happier without him, I need time to figeur out what I want... he started texting all this to me.

I try to call him, he wont answer.

He just texts me the whole time, while I am trying to talk him out of leaving.

He started saying things like, "Just think of this as a vacation, I have been wanting to see my family anyway"...

He didn't stay at our apartment New Years Eve. He stayed at a hotel.

He was supossed to come by the apartment the morning he left, but he decided not to.

Instead I woke up, checked the clock, opened the front door and found a letter there saying he couldn't bare to say goodbye, he didn't want to see me cry, since we have been up here he has been confused, and it ended with I will email you as soon as I get there. See you soon my love.

He was there Saturday morning, his friend in Mississippi told me, and he has yet to email me, call me, text me... anything.

I tried to reach him via his mom's phone but she wouldn't answer.

I can't get ahold of anyone.

He hasn't checked his myspace since he left...

I don't know what is going on.

 

Can somebody please explain what this guy is thinking?

Why did he leave? Why was he so unhappy about being here with me? Why hasn't he called me? I don't understand. :sad:

[Jadewhisper]

 

He wasn't mad about not having a job or living at my parents house anymore, obviously

 

 

By October he still hadn't found one and we couldnt afford to pay our bills and eat, so I found a part time job. I started work at 8am, had a lunch break at noon, got off work at 5pm, went to my other job at 5:30pm and got off around 10-11pm almost everyday. Saturdays and Sundays were a little different because I only worked that one second job, but my shift was normally 5pm-1am.

 

 

So you worked harder because he slacked off and quit his job and you became the sole breadwinner. How inconsiderate of him.

 

Slowly Jason started drinking more and more after I got the second job.

And, unlike how he acted before we moved to Washington, when he got drunk he got mad.

I wonder where he got the money to buy booze. And why should he be upset with you? You were trying to pay bills and expenses while he was busy drinking. Pretty inconsiderate and lazy of him.

 

Finally I put my foot down one day and told him if he wanted to be with me he needed to stop drinking. I wouldn't tollorate it anymore.

He agreed and things went smoothly for a few weeks.

 

He was sober this time and started going on about how I never have time for him and I am always at work.

He sounds both immature and inconsiderate of you...like he doesn't understand the money to pay bills has to come from somewhere.

 

His mom decided to visit us for Christmas.

Told him that she thinks I don't care about him and that my priorities are somewhere else.

She told him that if he wants to go back down to Mississippi with her she would gladly take him.

Again, you are being blamed not doing enough for this guy.

 

Starts making comments about how I am always forgetting about him.

I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen.

 

You know, reading your post and all, you placed his feelings before yours and he does the exact opposite. You sound like you care a lot about this guy, yet he doesn't realize what you contributed to the relationship.

 

How in the world are you supposed to spend more time with him when you have the sole burden of keeping a roof over your head? It sounds like even with your job, you are struggling to make ends meet.

Can somebody please explain what this guy is thinking?

Why did he leave? Why was he so unhappy about being here with me? Why hasn't he called me? I don't understand.

 

1. Have no clue what a guy would be thinking in this situation.

2.Perhaps he got tired of blaming you for all his problems.

3. Don't know. It sounds like there were several factors in his departure.

4. Before his departure, he was inconsiderate of you and your feelings. Ask yourself, why would he attempt to contact you....unless he wanted something from you.

 

Everything I put in bold indicates how you were blamed for this and blamed for that. That wasn't fair to you. Everyone has their ups and downs. Still, this is probably a good time to time for yourself and reflect what you want to do and not have someone act so inconsiderate. I'm sorry to hear that guy put you through all that.