Does the truth come out when shes drunk? Very confused by this girl

[hawkeeto]

Recently a girl that I am very interseted in has opened up to me. She did so on a couple occasions. She was drunk, but nothing rirdiculous. She told me that " she likes our friendship but something about her really likes when we are more than friends" also told me some very peronal things about her split family. Telling me that i am the only guy she has opened up to in the past. She even told me that she told her dad all about me, who i never met. Also mentioned to me I am the only guy to sleep in her bed. Telling me her friends love me, im a great guy, etc .... everything you would want to hear from a girl. When she is sober she is still very sweet and shows me attention but then backs off when we get too close. I can see part of her wants to be close but something holds her back.

 

Now this girl has been through a lot. Very hard last relationship that took a toll on her. Her family situation isnt the best right now either. I have taken it very slow with her since september. We have hooked up but I never push anything. She is a girl I would want to date so I am being very patient. We see eachother every 1-2 weeks and talk every few days. But we onlt hang out with other people. I have yet to get much time with her alone for the night. I also notice she gets jealous of me being friends with her friends and seems to play games at times. A very confusing girl who can show me a lot and then show me nothing, but she always will end up contacting me when I back off. The more attention I show, she backs off a bit. So then I dont talk to her for a few days and she comes running.

 

What is the best way to approach a girl like this? And the way she opened up to me when she was drunk, are they real feelings? I'm not sure if she's scared im going to hurt her or if shes just weird. Thank you.

[DN]

There is one school of thought that says people say and do nothing when they are drunk that they do not wish they could do when they are sober.

[ghost69]

sounds like she adores you.....as a friend.

[hawkeeto]

let me address that we have been more than friends on numerous occasions. and she shows me that she is interested when we are sober. all i am saying is that she is very forward when drunk. i wouldnt call us friends because we havent been, eventhough i call her one.

[hawkeeto]

and feedback from her friends is that she is very attracted to me but very hesitant.

[confused25]

This is coming from a woman's perspective . . .

 

I'd say she really likes you but is maybe scared to pursue anything with you because of her past relationships.

 

It's hard for me to open up to guys when I'm sober, but when I am drunk, that's a different story.

 

I'd say to take things slow with her and see how it goes. If anything, talk with her when she's sober and see where she sees you two.

[hawkeeto]

thank you. yes i was going steady just seeing her here and there, but when she told me some of the things that she told me like about ... telling her dad about me, now i am taking interest and figuring out how to get where i wanna get.

 

i have time and im not rushing a thing. and she has to come around at some point, i would hope?

[Casperlady]

Ok from my point of view reading this is that she likes you she is probably afraid of getting hurt again. From my experience and I havent had much but I know when i am drunk I am much more forward than when I am sober. I tend to run after lads i like especially when they back off. However when they act interested I back off as I dont want to be hurt and I dont think they are sincere. My advice is when you get time alone with this girl let her know how you feel and let her know that you are willing to take it at whatever pace she is comfortable at, lads are just as confusing to girls as we are to ye so just be open and dont push.

[bulletproof]

If you really want to date her, ask her to do something that is one-on-one and doesn't involve alcohol. If she continues to deny these invitations, I say move on. Because even if she is interested in you as more than a friend, do you really want to have a serious relationship with someone who cannot open up without drinking? That sounds like a hard relationship to willingly enter into.

[hawkeeto]

Thanks bullet. It's not like she is waiting for another guy. There are planty of guys in her life but I seem to be the only one she lets in as far as she does. She says yes to dates, but seems to flake out. I honestly feel like she thinks im a big show and wants to get in her pants like guys in the past. But yes I do ask myself if a girl this complicated is worth the effort.