Something is wrong with me..

[mentalrape]

I've dated this girl on and off for about two years now. And for the majority of the time we have been together we have been pretty serious. The I love yous, the I can't live without yous, and so on.

 

She has always had issues with being truthful though. Contacting her exes, getting guys phone numbers when she tells me she loves me and I am her everything..

 

Leaving town to go home to handle some things, but professing her undying love for me and that she is soon to return for she cant live without me. Then changing her story when she was back home and ending up in bed with some stranger she met in a bar..

 

Calling me crying about it, and blah blah blah..

 

She is clearly mentally unstable..

 

somehow we are back together again, and do love her with all my heart despite her innate drawing to sticking a fork in my heart by being premiscuous at some point.. It is inevitable that it will happen again..

 

despite this knowledge I am drawn to her for some reason..

 

do i enjoy the mental rape?

 

I think i do enjoy the anguish on some level..

 

oh, and the sex is really good..

 

On the same token, i feel that I would have distraction issues as well.. but If i KNEW my partner was faithful, I would not act..

 

But if she was given the right circumstances, I know she would stray..

 

please... analyze me

[DN]

There is a story of a man who was banging his head against a brick wall. When asked why he replied "It feels so good when I stop".

[franfran]

Ditch the . It's not out of this world to be in love with someone who is completely wrong for you, it happens all the time, you just need to realize that she IS wrong for you. You don't trust her now, you never will. You have reason not to trust her. She messes around with people she goes home from the bar with... where are you in this picture? On the back burner. You make her feel good about herself because you love her, but I don't think love is what this girl is looking for. At the very least, take some time apart to go do your own things. I'm sorry for what you're going through, but it will work out, it always does.

[PsychGirly]

I think this mainly stems from your own insecurities. You're allowing her to do this to you, and repeatedly showing her that it's ok if she betrays you--you'll forgive her. It doesn't seem like you're standing up for yourself whatsoever. Even in your thread, you sound really nonchalant about how she's treated you, which is very wrong.

 

I can't tell you what you need to do, but before you start blaming anyone else, analyze yourself. Insecurity can drive a lot of people away, & this may be the reason why she's not taking you seriously. She says she loves you & wants to be with you, yet she cheats on you. She wants to have her cake & eat it too, and you're letting her.

[mentalrape]

I do agree that I have my own insecurities to deal with..

 

And I know that I am letting her have her cake and eat it too..

 

But at the same time, knowing all of this I keep my options open as well.. I still flirt when I am out, and am constantly looking for a girl who will sweep me off my feet and show me that there is that one girl for me..

 

its just, in the midst of my single journey on this earth, I do enjoy the companionship me and the deceiving woman, I call my girl, have with each other..

 

Kinda like she is just "something to do" for now ( as clearly I am for her )

 

Though her rants and poems would depict that is not the case.her past actions show it is.. And history does tend to repeat..

 

Anyway, I guess what I am asking is, is it wrong for me to allow this to continue merely just to have SOMEone to hold, go out with, make love with, until something better comes along?

 

Or is that a bad practice?