what to do when you're really hurting

[pushforward]

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm just waiting and waiting. Each day hurts still. I've cried all my tears and almost don't have any left. I'm an emotional wreck. I look fine on the outside, but on the inside, I'm really full of sadness and hurt. This is driving me nuts.

 

I'm not trying to prolong my pain, I don't want to bask in it. I hate this state of mind and trying very hard to break the bad habit. The kick in the stomach feeling is returning. More reality sets in. I feel sick and tired. Nothing to help speed up the healing of a broken heart? The pain is unbearable at the moment. I have to control my breathing or I'd go into panic mode and lose myself.

 

How do I cope with losing/grieving one of the most important people in my life. I thought I said my goodbyes forever. I thought I was done with it, but it keeps at my doorsteps. I'm praying that this goes away. I'm am trying to get touch with my spiritual side and develop it, to the point where it can assist me in my healing.

 

Any suggestions?

 

I already workout. I go out socially with no expectations. I eat right. I don't substance abuse. I don't smoke. I'm staying away from dating until I have my life and heart sorted. I am spending time alone and trying to enjoy it.

 

I really don't know what to do.

[pace of ace]

The only thing i do (aside from drinking a beer or smoking a joint) to make me feel remotely better is stick my ipod in my ears and go for a long walk... really be alone with myself but its better than sitting at home and walking makes me feel calmer by the end of it. Other than that, talking it out with people close to you for as long as they are willing to listen. Keep talking about it.

 

Or come and post on ena of course!

[pushforward]

The only thing i do (aside from drinking a beer or smoking a joint) to make me feel remotely better is stick my ipod in my ears and go for a long walk... really be alone with myself but its better than sitting at home and walking makes me feel calmer by the end of it. Other than that, talking it out with people close to you for as long as they are willing to listen. Keep talking about it.

 

Or come and post on ena of course!

 

Nobody wants to listen anymore. I spend so much time alone, it's ridiculous. I don't go for walks. I go for drives. I sit at the park and look at the sky. I play the saddest music I can and cry it out. Sometimes I feel better, sometimes I feel worse. It's sort of become a pattern for me. Experiencing this type of loss really really hurts.

 

I keep posting and posting, I'm all over the place with my feelings. However, one thing is clear. I want to be healed and over this.

[franfran]

Try "Geek in the Pink" by Jason Mraz... It's a goodie, especially for you! It's like the ballad of my life. and cut the sad music!

 

I'm sorry push... you're riding this out and when you're done, you'll be unstoppable.

[pace of ace]

I think you may want to consider seeing a counceller then? Have you considered that? No shame in it, i've had therapy for s**t for years.

[pushforward]

Try "Geek in the Pink" by Jason Mraz... It's a goodie, especially for you! It's like the ballad of my life. and cut the sad music!

 

I'm sorry push... you're riding this out and when you're done, you'll be unstoppable.

 

Yes, I do listen to happy music periodically. Jason Mraz is an amazing musician. I only listen to the sad stuff when I really need to let it out. Not to keep myself down.

 

I think you may want to consider seeing a counceller then? Have you considered that? No shame in it, i've had therapy for s**t for years.

 

I've been in therapy for 3 - 4 months now? On average I go once every 3 - 4 weeks. I know I need help.

[SighSob]

Switch to happy music, brother. It works!

[Ellie2006]

This is not very helpful BUT sometimes you just have to trudge through the pain. (This is a bit embarrassing to admit now but) I once cried every single day for three months after a break-up. I couldnt cry in front of people I knew but I couldnt stop the tears either when they started in public places.

 

I watched sitcoms and tried to laugh, and it helped a bit. I listened to music, as pace of ace suggested, always upbeat ones. I immersed myself in work and tried to keep myself busy.

 

It took a while but the pain eventually subsided.

 

I think you just have to give yourself some time. I wish there were an easier way but time does seem to be the best medicine.

 

You said in another thread that you are already meeting with a counselor; have you consulted this issue with him/her and what has he/she said about this matter? Maybe you can ask your counselor for suggestions on how to overcome grief in a constructive way WITHOUT taking medication.

 

Take care of yourself.

[SighSob]

Oh and I am trying to enjoy being hot & single. Of course hotness is required.

[equinox]

When I need to cheer myself up, I watch something funny on the internet like Family Guy or something along those line. Honestly, the best cure for sadness is laughter, I think.

[pace of ace]

When I need to cheer myself up, I watch something funny on the internet like Family Guy or something along those line. Honestly, the best cure for sadness is laughter, I think.

 

amen to that!

[SighSob]

Or watch Towelie videos. They will make you laugh no matter what.

[jennamajig]

When I need to cheer myself up, I watch something funny on the internet like Family Guy or something along those line. Honestly, the best cure for sadness is laughter, I think.

 

I wish Family Guy helped me but it was my ex's favorite show! He used to quote from it ALL the time and did a great impression of Stewie and Peter. Similar reactions with South Park.

 

I haven't been able to watch a single episode since my break-up. Maybe I will know I'm healed when I finally can because I enjoyed both shows once.

 

I did discover 30 Rock and my family loves 2 and a half men and How I met Your Mother. So I added those to my DVR instead.

[franfran]

Smoke a sh*t load of weed! That'll make ya laugh!

[Singlestill]

I wish Family Guy helped me but it was my ex's favorite show! He used to quote from it ALL the time and did a great impression of Stewie and Peter. Similar reactions with South Park.

 

I haven't been able to watch a single episode since my break-up. Maybe I will know I'm healed when I finally can because I enjoyed both shows once.

 

I did discover 30 Rock and my family loves 2 and a half men and How I met Your Mother. So I added those to my DVR instead.

 

I hate it when you had shows or movies or songs with the ex because it takes yet another thing off the plate for awhile.

 

Yes, I do listen to happy music periodically. Jason Mraz is an amazing musician. I only listen to the sad stuff when I really need to let it out. Not to keep myself down.

 

This week I have been really, really down and so I joined emusic and started trying to find new bands to download. It has actually helped some. I am still down, but discovering something that makes me smile, and didn't come before her, is liberating

[pushforward]

I can't watch family guy. That was our show. I pretty much stay away from everything she showed me or I showed her. It's like a smile and a cry at the same time.

 

I do listen to upbeat music, when I workout anyways. When I'm at home, I'm usually just lurking on the coping board and trying to distract myself with homework or video games.

[sillygurl]

Pushforward:

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this- I looked at your thread because I'm in the same boat. I miss my ex so much... sometimes the pain subsides, but other times, like now, I feel like I'm in hell.

 

The other posters have a good point, it's definitely better when I'm laughing, and it gets my mind off of him for a while. And being around other people is good for me too.

 

Is there a way you can join a group and meet new people? Like a team sport, book club, something to start making new, happy memories for yourself with new people?

 

Hang in there.

[crab62]

I cry and attend 3 support groups a week right now... and have an appt for a therapist this week.

 

I have found that during the past 8 weeks, I am extremely senstive to things... so I have distanced myself a bit from people. Things that didn't bother me before, bother me today. I feel broken. I know that will change, but right now I am doing all I can to be around safe people.

[coldplay.]

Do you think your therapy is helping, there are a Very different and large amount of therapists, and finding the right one is more important that just getting out there ive heard.

[pushforward]

My therapy sessions help to a certain extent. I kind of want to take more, but due to the holidays and other life circumstances, I was limited due to scheduling.

 

I'm really comfortable with my therapist and we've established a few things that I already recognize, but unable to fix.

 

=/

 

Anybody ever hurt so bad, that their head starts to feel light? That's how I feel. I feel so light headed and sad at the same time.

[crab62]

Anybody ever hurt so bad, that their head starts to feel light? That's how I feel. I feel so light headed and sad at the same time.

 

no my pain is strictly in my heart and gut...

[pushforward]

no my pain is strictly in my heart and gut...

 

I dunno, it's like when you cry your eyes out so much, that your head starts to hurt. Like my brain can't fully process these emotions and feels like it's malfunctioning.

[pushforward]

I don't get myself at the moment. Bombarded with memories and I feel like crying my eyes out. It's close to my lunch time, which means my nap time. I don't know why all these memories are coming and striking me now. I feel like taking a nap, yet I picture the times I woke up right next to her and would kiss her or vice versa.

 

Ugh, my brain is burning. I have never yearned or longed for something so much in my life that it hurts. This is unbelievable and I did not know that I could experience this. I getting mad at myself for feeling this way. It's like I'm stuck at her apartment, trying to leave but I can't find a door. Why in God's name am I doing this to myself?

[Loki71]

It's hard but as you see your not alone. Many of us are where you are right now. I just got done watching a movie trying to get my mind of things when A mother in the movie asks that her son be saved as he was about to die. All I could do was think the same thing about me and my ex and it brought tears to my eyes. It wasn't the same thing but the feeling was the same. No matter what we do there will always be something that will or can trigger these feelings we just have to deal with them as it happens and try to move on. I wish you the best of luck and hope things start getting easier for you soon.

[pushforward]

It's hard but as you see your not alone. Many of us are where you are right now. I just got done watching a movie trying to get my mind of things when A mother in the movie asks that her son be saved as he was about to die. All I could do was think the same thing about me and my ex and it brought tears to my eyes. It wasn't the same thing but the feeling was the same. No matter what we do there will always be something that will or can trigger these feelings we just have to deal with them as it happens and try to move on. I wish you the best of luck and hope things start getting easier for you soon.

 

I know how bad that can be. Something completely small, can trigger something so traumatizing. I hate how a new song on the radio, something I've never heard can remind me of her. Even a stroll through the park. Blah, anything and everything reminds me of her. Life is cruel, no? I can't wait to be on top of the world again.