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Day One...NC Vent


Loki71

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Well I am on day one of NC (really LC due to kids) I didn't sleep at all last night. Dang dreams wouldn't let me. I couldn't go to work cause she is there and I didn't know if I could take seeing her so soon. I just don't know if I can do this I cried myself to sleep and woke up crying. I hate myself for not being able to control this. In 37yrs I have always had control of my emotions till now. People died I could care less no emotions no nothing. She leaves and I am a wreck. I just want to sit in a dark corner and not move till it's all over and I can stop. I thought this was supposed to get easier? Seems the only one that it has gotten easier for is her. Just my vent for today. Now I am off to try and keep busy so I don't think about her all day.

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So I am assuming from your post that you work together? (Forgive me, I'm new here and don't know the entire history)

 

Yes, sort of. We work in the same place but not with each other. Just taking one day to get my head in the right shape before I see her. I walk by her when I go to break and so I don't want to break down when I do.

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This is just the start. You can do it if you stick to it for a while and give yourself a chance. Like I said before, make it easy on yourself. When you go to break distract yourself by talking to someone else or ignore her.

This is hard because all those years with no emotions you never learned to deal with them and now you are playing catch up. You have a lot of ground to make up......

 

lost

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