Is this a danger sign? HELP!

[brit8719]

First off, im new to this forum so I would like to introduce myself. i'm a 21 year old college student currently in the second semester of my junior year = ) I've been dating this guy just for two months so far, but already we have come accross some major MAJOR issues. I fear that he has an alcohol problem. the first incident occurred after about a month of dating. I went over to his house to spend time with him and we both had some alcohol. he had a lot more than I did and he mixed several different kinds of liquor. After about an hour he started to change.He started to get very aggressive and yell at me for no reason. He told me to stop being a smart ass, although I was just asking why the heck is he acting so damn strange. He then told me to get out. I was really confused and really upset because I drank and do not condone or engage in drinking and driving. I had no choice to leave because he threatened to hit me. I was really scared. the next day i call him and he claims that he doesn't remember what he did...but still kept on apologizing day after day.

 

Last night, the second episode happened. I went to his house (I was just getting over the flu so I hadn't got to see him for a good 2 weeks). We were drinking again, and again he drank too much. In fact when I got there he seemed already tipsy. Around 4am he started to change. Out of the blue he told me I had to go home. I had drank way too much and did not even think I would be able to drive (plus it was raining). I told him he was doing it again and he got really defensive and then said I was the crazy one and maybe he doesn't need to mess with me, and he just needs to be single. I was really really upset because he said some even harsher things to me that really hurt my feelings. In fact, im still very upset about it and have been crying alot. He made me drive all the way home. When I told him I was too drunk to drive, he said well you can sleep in your car or you can call a cab, I don't care what you do, but you have to get the hell out of here.

 

I don't know what to do. I'm scared that one day while he is drinking, he will actually hit me. i'm also scared that this is a sign of a growing alcohol problem. i don't know what to do. When he is sober, we have a great time (although i'm starting to think he's cheating because when I got to his house a womans care was sitting outside, and before I got to get out of my car he asked me if I could go and get something from the store...that made me a little suspicious because the time I got back, the car and his so-called "bestfriend" was gone).

 

I really need some advice. Right now im thinking the negatives outway the positives, and my intuition has never really failed me in the past. I just dont want to overreact and ruin something that could have been long lasting.

 

Please help!!!!!! (sorry for this being so long, i'm just in desperate need of some non-sugar coated advice)

[In Limbo]

kick him out..and run away...seems he might even hurt you.Do u knw what it means to be driving drunk??

U could be jailed and fined for this.Thank God you are safe.RUN!!!!If he stalks you, call the police on him..Thank God for being alive!!

U will find many good guys..please quit this one..

[SapphireNoir10]

Yes this is a danger sign.

 

I say leave this one alone. Hes no good for you and the issues would be awful.

[alli]

He is not a good guy. Luckily you are only 2 months into this, so I very highly recommend that you break up with him now. For some reason drinking affects people differently. Some get loud & obnoxious, some get aggressive. This guy is the latter. He may have a problem but you are not in a position to fix it. The only way he can be helped is if he wants it & it doesn't sound like he is on the verge of an epiphany. You are right to be concerned he might hit you because if you stay with him, one of these days he probably will... or worse.

[ladybug726]

Honestly, I think you should have left after the first incident. You're having this many problems after 2 months? It will only get worse...

[Mavh25]

Get away from this guy, or stop drinking together.

[drewciouS281]

look im gonna be blunt with you. why are you being an idiot! you shouldnt even have to get our advice to solve this situation. Do you enjoy being threatened by someone? I mean, you guys have only been dating for a couple months and he is threatening to hit you and kicks you out not caring about you driving intoxicated and possibly getting a DUI or bad accident... COME ON NOW!! If this is happening so early on, its only a matter of time that he WILL hit you and probably cheat on you. Seriously, get out of this! dont be suckered into his begging a pleading, once he gets booze in him it will just happen again. please dont be one of those girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I really dont mean to be rude hun but stuff like this pisses me off about some women. Its only been two months and you already see abusiveness out of him. Be smart enough to end it yourself!

[keith515]

If you see danger signs that early, things will get worse in the future. Leave him. He may try to be apologetic and say he will change but it's not like you two have a long history together.