I'm not over her after 3 months

[mr_m4x]

So here I am, back in the healing forum after a brief stance in the getting back together forum.

 

I'm just arriving home from a friend's farewell party and I'm pretty much back to square one after 3 months of the breakup.

 

I think about her every day, every hour. I just can't help it. I only have to take her off my mind to completely get over her but I don't know how to do it. I know I have to forget about her but I can't. I just don't know how to.

 

This was my first lasting and meaningfull relationship and I don't know how to get over it. Before we broke up we had plans, not just me, we both had plans about going to live abroad, we even pictured our house and our dog, we even had a name for it, Athena.

 

It's just that some things seem to be connected with my ex. Everything actually. Not because I'd like to connect everything but because life likes to play some jokes with me. Last week I was with a girl I really liked and one of my mates who didn't remember her actual name, called her using my ex's name, yes, my EX'S NAME! (he didn't know my ex's name so it wasn't a cheap shot), how about that!

 

I just don't know what to do anymore, I've told myself I just don't care anymore but obviously I still care. I've tried distracting myself, going out with some other girls but I just can't get out of this hole! And I want to get out of it!

 

I'd love to feel her in my arms again, have ourselves work our issues out but I know it's a dead end. It's like trying to kick a dead duck alive.

 

I feel lost in a place where I don't want to be :sad:

 

I want to work things out and start over with her but I don't know if there's a chance to do that. I just don't know.

[7ate9]

Hey!

First of all I think you need to be honest with yourself as much as you can and not just try to ignore your feelings. Your hurt. You miss her. You are disappointed that the relationship did not work out.

Feel those feelings. They are there to tell you something about yourself as well as the relationship.

When we try to reject our feelings, those feelings usually stay with us even longer because they need to be resolved!

At the same time, I would advice you not to daydream about having her back in your life. That is just another form of ignoring your feelings. The reality is that it is over. The more you are willing to face that reality the less those feelings will haunt you, and you will finally be able to move on and be available again.

[SighSob]

My advice: don't hide the pain, face it and accept it. You miss your girl, you want to be with her and that is not going to happen. It sucks, I know. It hurts a lot. I am hurting too. Pretending you are not hurting or you are not caring may work for someone but it's not the only way to heal. I'm not saying "drown in your own pain", just acknowledge that you're hurt but life is still beautiful and fun to live. That's why you have to keep going out and meeting new people...not to forget her, to be happy and enjoy your life.

[franfran]

The best way out is through. Here for ya buddy

[mr_m4x]

My advice: don't hide the pain, face it and accept it. You miss your girl, you want to be with her and that is not going to happen. It sucks, I know. It hurts a lot. I am hurting too. Pretending you are not hurting or you are not caring may work for someone but it's not the only way to heal. I'm not saying "drown in your own pain", just acknowledge that you're hurt but life is still beautiful and fun to live. That's why you have to keep going out and meeting new people...not to forget her, to be happy and enjoy your life.

 

That's exactly what I've been doing. I think I'm standing on my own two feet again, but I just don't know how to let her go. I'm an easy prey of my thoughts.

 

Maybe I need to do as a poster stated and face my feelings, but I know I have, I know it's over, she's just a happy memory. What I think I haven't faced, and what it's making me hold on for the last time, is the fact that I haven't closed the door on starting over with her. I think that once I face and acknowledge that we are not starting over I'll start letting go.

 

And that's the hardest part, because I really wanted to start over with her, facing the fact that it won't happen is something that hurts me a lot. But I have to move on.

[mr_m4x]

So I'm here on a quiet wednesday afternoon coding on my project, talking to a colleague friend and guess who is writing me on msn...

 

If you guessed my ex then you are totally right!

 

I don't know what's up with this, we are doing total BS chat.

 

Any advise?

[pushforward]

So I'm here on a quiet wednesday afternoon coding on my project, talking to a colleague friend and guess who is writing me on msn...

 

If you guessed my ex then you are totally right!

 

I don't know what's up with this, we are doing total BS chat.

 

Any advise?

 

NC. You already know what will happen. Block and delete until you are over it.

[mr_m4x]

So I guess the conversation is over.

 

This is what was talked about:

 

- My trip to Miami

- My iternship

- Her job

- My dogs (tricky point this one)

 

All of those points were mentioned by her, I never initiated any conversation on any topic.

 

Now talking about my dogs... She said she went into my Facebook profile and saw those pictures.

 

I think she wanted me to ask her out to lunch or something like that because she told me that she's only working 3 days a week, that her weekend starts today and I quote "I have a lot of free time". I said "Cool" xD!!!

 

Not reading too much into the conversation, I'm note getting my hopes up this time.

 

Feeling a little shaken as I changed my Blackberry/MSN nicknames this morning to "Karma never fails".