confused_255 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Ok well to recap a quick story here, my ex broke up with me, i still love her, but ive been in NC for 3 months, i don't care how she feels for me other then the fact that i want to be on good terms incase i go to jail this spring. I DON'T want to get back together but i want to be friends with her, and i am confident that i will be able to handle seeing her with another man, yes it will still hurt but, i doubt i will even be around her and another man, or be with her at any point i just feel i should make things right. it would make ME feel better and thats why im doing it. heres the message i plan on sending to her, is this crystal clear that i only want to be friends or is there something i can change to make it more clear? hi xxxxxx, i just wanted to say hi, merry christmas and happy new year, i hope you are doing good, and hope everything is well. i also wanted to write to ask if we are ok? and see if that after everything that has happened that you don't hate me, id like to know that maybe one day we could be friends again. I am going to see my lawyer tomorrow hopefully he has good news for me. but id really like it if we were left off on a good note and knowing that we are both happy. i sincerely hope you are doing well, im really turning a corner in my life and things are really starting to look up, it's just too bad that it took so much stuff for me to finally get my life on track. Im sorry for the way i handled certain things after all was said and done, you've really taught me alot and given me insight about some things and i am now desiring to apply those qualities that you have taught me and those things i have changed about myself in future relationships. I am confident that you will find someone that will treat you well and fulfill you with the things that i could never deliver, emotionally, physically, and financially. Hopefully we can talk soon. i hope you are doing well, friend i want to be VERY CLEAR that i do NOT want to be anymore then a friend, is this clear enough or could this be decieved by a simple mind? Link to comment
PrincessBOT Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 i want to be VERY CLEAR that i do NOT want to be anymore then a friend, is this clear enough or could this be decieved by a simple mind? You can do this by continuing no contact, friendship can last a life time so there is no rush. You can't see it right now, but your letter says that you are not ready to be friends. You don't have to ask friends to be friends, it usually just happens if it is a true friendship. I talk from experience, I dated a guy for 4 years, our friendship evolved, a call here a call there started it and it went from there, but after the initial break up in 8 years (12 years total knowing each other) we rarely ever talk about the relationship and never apologize for it. After all we are friends. Link to comment
confused_255 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 You can do this by continuing no contact, friendship can last a life time so there is no rush. You can't see it right now, but your letter says that you are not ready to be friends. You don't have to ask friends to be friends, it usually just happens if it is a true friendship. I talk from experience, I dated a guy for 4 years, our friendship evolved, a call here a call there started it and it went from there, but after the initial break up in 8 years (12 years total knowing each other) we rarely ever talk about the relationship and never apologize for it. After all we are friends. i think you misunderstood the first post, i could be going to jail within the next couple of months and the only reason i was sending that email is because it would make me feel better that my ties are all cleaned up and i think the best thing to do is be straight with her for legal matters as well. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Hey man, I think thats pretty clear cut and to the point. I dont think you need to change any of that. let us know if she replies! Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Just a few wordsmiths (opinions), however your letter is fine by itself. Hi xxxxxx, I just wanted to say, merry christmas and happy new year. I hope you are doing good, and hope everything is going well. I am going to see my lawyer tomorrow and hopefully he has good news for me. I'm really starting to turn a corner in my life and things are really beginning to look up. It is too bad that it took so much for me to finally get my life on track. Im sorry for the way I handled things and after all is said and done, you've really taught me alot and given me valued insight. I am now desiring to apply those qualities that you have taught me and those things I am changing about myself in future relationships. I am confident that you will find someone that will treat you well and fulfill you with the things that I was unable to deliver. I'd like to know that maybe one day we could be friends again. Hopefully we can talk soon and you will feel comfortable with my as your friend in your life. Sincerely, Link to comment
franfran Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Hi confused! Where did you disappear off to? I haven't seen a trace of you in awhile! I hate encouraging dumpees to send letters like this to dumpers, but if you're sure a negative reaction from her won't completely kill you, then go ahead. I think the less personal you make it (regarding you and her and the things you listed that she has taught you), the better. No need to bring all that up, that is just my opinion! Link to comment
confused_255 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Hi confused! Where did you disappear off to? I haven't seen a trace of you in awhile! I hate encouraging dumpees to send letters like this to dumpers, but if you're sure a negative reaction from her won't completely kill you, then go ahead. I think the less personal you make it (regarding you and her and the things you listed that she has taught you), the better. No need to bring all that up, that is just my opinion! Well she did reply and it was good she said that i was the one who didnt want to be friends at the start which was true, and she did attempt to contact me a few times while i was in NC which i didn't reply to. She said that she would love to be friends and told me a little bit about what she has been up to, i replied a short-medium reply back just letting her know what ive been up to and stuff and then cut it off with saying "nice to hear from ya." I don't want her back she ripped my heart out and stomped on it but it would be nice to have her straight with me which she now is as i am going into serious legal matters. she also has not had another relationship since me so that kind of makes me feel good as well lol (i did NOT ask her or even hint at her). anyways today is an overall goodday i also got great news from my lawyer so i wont be going away till november of this year if at all !! yay for me thanks for all your replies guys ill update and let you guys know as time progresses but i doubt i will make too much of an attempt with her because as of now i still don't want to be anything more then an acquaintance right now with her, maybe someday i would get back together with her but she will have to change up her priorities a bit before that ever happens. LOL reading over the message i sent to her i accidently put "hi xxxxxxx" LOLOL Link to comment
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