I have no sex drive. Help?

[ElasticMagnetic]

My friends and I like to joke about it a lot, but I seriously have no sex drive.

 

I mean, I love 'fooling around' with my boyfriend and such, but I just can't get really hot over it. Nothing really pleases me.

 

Now let me make this very clear;

 

Even though I'm at the age of 16, it's not that my sexuality hasn't really taken full affect. In fact, it USED to be in affect a couple years ago, but now it's nothing. It's as if it all burned up, and will never come back. I'm not over exaggerating either.

 

He knows about my 'broken' vagina. But he doesn't know is that I'm acting almost 85% of the time because I like pleasing him and I know what turns him on. It makes me feel bad that I'm so good at it. Again, I enjoy what we do, but I'm not feeling the physical pleasure.

 

 

I think the hormones are kind of there because I like doing these things with him, but I'm not like TRULY enjoying it. I get wet and stuff, but I'm very 'meh'-ish. And it’s NOT because he’s doing anything wrong or obnoxiously! And it’s also not because he hasn’t found that ‘right spot’. There is just no stimulation.

 

I kind of want to know what I can do to help myself enjoy it more, more for his sake than mine. Can anyone help me?

[paperneck]

explain a broken vagina

[ElasticMagnetic]

explain a broken vagina

 

It's not really broken, but I don't get any pleasure from it. I say it's broken, but it's works just fine other than that whole issue.

[Blanco Nino]

My drive goes up and down depending on diet and exercise. If I have fast food an sit on the couch for a few days it's nonexistent. If I'm eating 3 square meals a day and swimming laps I can screw a grizzly.

[kuiks8]

you are soo young...how much experience have you had? are you having sex?

I think what people miss is that sexual pleasure especially for females has a lot to do with where your head is at...it's not about the sensations as much as it is about how in to it you are...

[LOLephant]

Okay, first things first.

 

1.) are you religious?

 

2.) have you ever masturbated before and how did it go?

 

3.) are you self-conscious about your body or the idea of someone else touching your body.

 

Im not trying to put you in a box or category, as everyone is a different person. I'm just trying to get information that may or may not help you. Rule out the softballs. Just like a doctor will look in your ear, even if you are complaining of a pain in your big toe.

[ElasticMagnetic]

you are soo young...how much experience have you had? are you having sex?

I think what people miss is that sexual pleasure especially for females has a lot to do with where your head is at...it's not about the sensations as much as it is about how in to it you are...

 

I'm kind of private about things I've done. It's a common courtesy thing. But I've never had sex. Sex is over rated at my age and I'm just not into it. That is also one of the things I'd like to save as well for an older age.

[ElasticMagnetic]

Okay, first things first.

 

1.) are you religious?

 

2.) have you ever masturbated before and how did it go?

 

3.) are you self-conscious about your body or the idea of someone else touching your body.

 

Im not trying to put you in a box or category, as everyone is a different person. I'm just trying to get information that may or may not help you. Rule out the softballs. Just like a doctor will look in your ear, even if you are complaining of a pain in your big toe.

 

1.) My parents never really got me into that kind of stuff. I'm open to learn about it, but I don't feel like I could commit to something like that.

 

2.) Not really. I'm not into masturbation. It's just not my thing.

 

3.) I am self conscience about some parts of me, but overall I'm pretty confident in my looks. I don't like being looked below the waist because I find the vagina a distasteful sight and don't want anyone to see mine.

 

I was sexually abused in my past relationship, so that scarred me a bit and just made the whole 'not being into it' thing even worse than it was before. We can't do things that remind me of the crap he put me through because it makes me sad.

[yellow_sweater]

Hey Elastic,

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you were abused. Your posts sound like they were written by a very mature, thoughtful young woman. No one deserves to be abused--especially not someone like you.

 

Don't worry about your sexuality just yet. When I was 16, I didn't feel very sexual, either. I'm a little older, and my sexuality has developed.

 

If this is something that's bothering you, you should definitely start seeing a counselor. As you get older and want to have a sexual relationship (not because you're horny, but because you want intimacy with someone you love), you'll need to address these issues. They sound like they stem from your abuse, and you should talk to someone competent to help you.

 

Seriously, though, you're plenty young and you've got plenty of time to work on this. Don't stress about it just yet. Now is a good time to get started on working through these issues, so you're ready for an intimate relationship when you're older.

 

Hugs

YS