Does this make me a bad person?

[glegend]

Not sure if I've posted this in the right spot since I think it could go in a few differnt places.

 

Anyways, I got a neighbour who lives accross the street from me. I've never had any problems with any on my neightbours in the past. We don't really talk to many of the neighbours on a regular basis, that general for all my neighbours on the street. We have had problems with opnly one neighbour in the past but its wasn't really me or my family who really had the problem it was mostly the who street. The problems with this neighbour has been resolved.

 

Now this neighbour that I have a problem with has changed a lot since they have initially moved in. They are getting full of themselves and they act like they own the block. They moved in about 2-4 years ago and they do not even own the place, nuns own the place. They run a refugee business and they help refugees escape from whatever country they are in. They bring them into the country, move them into the house in my neighbourhood, set up with some money and findd them a place to live in as well as a job.

 

I really, really do not find anything wrong with what they are doing. Don't get me wrong, they are helping people get out of their country in which they could living in a country where war is going on all the time. However, this does raise concern to me. I do not feel that what they are doing in a residential neighbourhood is appropriate. Only because they are brining in strange people that they have never really met before into a well established neighbourhood for a prolonged period of time. They set them up with cars, taking our parking space on the street without a street permit. They also park in front of my house where parking is not permitted. Most of the time they park accross the street from my driveway, and they block the driveway in a way that it makes it hard for anyone to get in and out of the driveway. Our vehicles aren't small. My dad has a Pontiac Montana minivan but he has the extended model which is 201.3 inches long which works out to appromixtaley 16.75 feet; while my mom has a full size car a Chevy Lumina which is 200.9 inches; so about the same length as my dads minivan. My Typhoon is 170.3 inches which is about 14 feet, which makes it smaller and a bit easier to get out of the driveway but still. Sometimes the cars are parked there for a couple of weeks before they leave. Ironically, if we park the car out there for 5 minutes a parking cop comes and tickets the car right away when they do it they dont get anything.

 

The other thing that bothers me is the safety. Since they are brining in strange people into our neighbourhood we have no idea what kind of people they really are. For all we know one of them could go and rape one of the kids in my neighbourhood. They could even be drug dealers or terrorists.

 

Anyways, all this has been a concern of mine for a while but I''ve let it slip. Recently, they have gotten the idea that the neighbourhood is theirs and they can do whatever they want. They are medeling into other people business. I've had them call the cops on me several of times. They are part of the reason why my ex-girlfriend left me. So deep down I hate them with a passion. On top of that they have lied to my face and told me they have lived in that house for the past 20 years. Little do they know we used to park my dads old minivan on their driveway a few years before the last owner bought the house. They have alos gotten the idea that they dont need to shovel the snow or put salt on thier portion of the sidewalk. Resulting in my grandmother slipping a few times and almost falling. My neighbour Frank actually fell.

 

Now they have started doing renovation work inside the house. No building permits what so ever. I don't know what they are doing exactly, but I have seen what is inside the big garbage bin they have on their property. There is scrap lumber, drywall, household garbage, etc... Now these are the type of people that I know will call the city and complain if someone is building without a permit. I am not like that, its really agianst my beliefs. I believe the house is yours, you paid for it you own. You should able to choose what you do to it, not the city. So personally, I don't care if someone renovates their basement or bathroom without a permit that is their business not mine. My business is what goes on in my house.

 

I hate these people big time. I really really want to get back at them and make their life a living hell. I want that shut down, I want them out of the neighbourhood, I want to see them cry. Personally, I want to punch the man of the house out for sticking his nose in my business. Again, I really really hate them for what they have done to me. They cost me my relationship with my ex, if it wasn't for them we would still be together. Now we are not and I am miserable.

 

So I'm thinking on calling the city and reporting them for doing construction work without a building permit. Hopefully, they get caught and they pay the fine as well as their contractor. I don't any sympathy for them, I'll feel a tiny bit bad that the contractor would have to pay the fine. But this is the cost of them getting involved in my affairs. And hopefully, the city will also see what is going on with that house and maybe shut them down.

 

So would this make me a bad person, or does anyone see it my way?

[annie24]

well, honestly, it's really not your concern. first off, i don't know how you know that they don't have permits. did you go down to city hall yourself and look up their building permits? and why do you think these people are terrorists or rapists? they are refugees! they are trying to escape terrorists and rapists!!! I don't see any evidence from what you have presented that these people are criminals. should they be shoveling side-walks? yes. if they are not, you can report them. my city has a website where you can report snowy/icy sidewalks, if your city has a similar website, then you should report it if they are being unsafe.

 

and i really don't see how you can blame your neighbors for your breakup.

 

that all said - they own the house. do you think that other people have a right to tell you that you shouldn't be inviting or having certain people stay at your house? what if they thought your teenaged friends were gangsters or something? how would you feel if someone comes to your house and tells you who you can and can't invite over. seeing as how they own the property, you really don't have a say in it. i'd recommend minding your own business a bit more.

[glegend]

Permits have to be posted one of the windows. There is nothing other then their business hours posted on their windows.

 

Plus they don't own the property. The nuns do and the nun don't live in the house.

 

How I can blame them for the break-up. Well after the incident with them, my girl broke up with me.

[Anonymous122]

Seconded. This really isn't your problem. Make them move their cars out from in front of your driveway, then drop all of your other concerns and move on.

[glegend]

I have told them to move the cars. They will move the car when we need to get out, then right after we leave they put the car back.

 

 

Also, I want to know why no one sees brining strange people into a residential neighbourhood for a short period of time constantly as a safety concern?

[annie24]

Permits have to be posted one of the windows. There is nothing other then their business hours posted on their windows.

 

Plus they don't own the property. The nuns do and the nun don't live in the house.

 

How I can blame them for the break-up. Well after the incident with them, my girl broke up with me.

 

Well, you said before what a person does in their own house is their business, not yours. I guess it is up to you if you want to report them for their lack of work permit. Somehow I think that the nuns are probably on the up and up, but OK, if you want to report the nuns, go ahead.

 

I think your ex might have broken up with you not because of these neighbors, but because of how you reacted to them.

 

So what if they don't own the property?? The nuns do and it is their choice who they let live there. What if you wanted to invite your cousin to live with you and the nuns told you you couldn't? Do you own the place where you live? Is your name on the deed? My guess is that you don't own your house, it's your parents who own it.

[annie24]

I have told them to move the cars. They will move the car when we need to get out, then right after we leave they put the car back.

 

 

Also, I want to know why no one sees brining strange people into a residential neighbourhood for a short period of time constantly as a safety concern?

 

do you not invite your friends over? maybe they think your friends are riff-raff also.

 

If they are breaking your city's laws on parking, then you should take it up with parking enforcement in your city. or call a tow-truck if they are blocking your driveway. or even just push the car yourself.

[glegend]

Do you own the place where you live? Is your name on the deed? My guess is that you don't own your house, it's your parents who own it.

 

My parents own the place right now. Me and my sister get the house when they die, its in my parents will. So I unofficially own 50% of the house.

 

do you not invite your friends over? maybe they think your friends are riff-raff also.

 

My friends do not come over to my house at all. In the past 2 years my friends have not come over. The only one who would come to my house on a regular basis was my ex. During high school, they would sometimes come over to my house to meet up and then go wherever we had planned to go. If you have read any of my other threads/posts my friends have pretty much all vanished. My sisters friends do not even come over.

[annie24]

My parents own the place right now. Me and my sister get the house when they die, its in my parents will. So I unofficially own 50% of the house.

 

yeah, but your name isn't on the deed. thereforee, you don't own the house.

 

i'm a homeowner myself, i don't go around telling my neighbors who they can and can't invite unless it directly starts impinging on my own rights. If you are so concerned about your neighborhood, you can join your neighborhood association. or join a neighborhood watch group.

[glegend]

My neighbourhood watch doesn't want these people in the neighbourhood at all. They feel that what they are doing should not be allowed. However, they were not able to get them to not run this type of business in our neighbourhood.

[dreamwarrior]

I don't know where you live, but here in SF if you are in another person's driveway without their permission they will ticket you and then tow you away...they are very strict here...at least in this city.

 

Far as having people in the neighborhood...as I said before depends which country your talking about and it may vary from city to city...I am not sure if there are any agencies to help refugees or what the qualifications are....if your concerned then perhaps you can go to your nearest immigration department.

 

As the OP mentioned, how do you know what their credentials are for bringing people into the country? They may have a license to do it.

 

Why would your gf leave you over the problems your having with these neighbors? Perhaps it may be much better to speak to the man/woman who own the house and politely ask them to save some room for your cars...sometimes when a person wants something in this life it's better to try and discuss it in a friendly manner.

 

What is the reason you don't like your neighbors? Have you or your family had harsh words with them in the past?

 

Here in my city the parking is very very bad that people tend to come to blows over it....I just park my car until the sweeping day and don't use it to save on gas and then sometimes take it work....but fighting over parking is useless...just park your cars on another street if you have to then when you see a spot move it back.

 

Good luck to you.

[annie24]

My neighbourhood watch doesn't want these people in the neighbourhood at all. They feel that what they are doing should not be allowed. However, they were not able to get them to not run this type of business in our neighbourhood.

 

how do you know this? do you go to the neighborhood meetings? besides, it's a free country (last I heard) and you can't tell people who they can and can't have over to the place that they own. I really get the feeling you have very strong anti-foreigner sentiments.

 

it doesn't matter that you are on the will. you don't own your house right now. end of story. you aren't on the deed, you aren't in the county records, you don't pay property taxes on your home. you may help out your parents by paying rent but you don't own your house.

 

it's about personal freedom. it sounds to me like these nuns are trying to do some good, by helping families in war-torn countries get a new start. why are you trying to knock that? it's not their fault that you don't have friends coming over to your place!

[annie24]

yes, i used to live in san francisco also. people would park in front of our house, and there was nothing we could do unless they were blocking our driveway. there were times we had to even park 4 blocks away from our own home!

[glegend]

One of my aunts live down the street from me who takes care of these meetings. Her next door neighbour was one of my teachers from elementary school, and she is part of the watch. My neighbour Frank's wife is involved in the watch. Pretty much all the houses next to my neighbour Franks house are in the neighbourhood watch.

 

I never said what they are doing is wrong. I find what they are doing is a good thing, helping people out.

 

But honestly, if lived in a neighbourhood where there are a bunch of little kids and you had little kids yourself. Then one day the house accross the street sells and these people buy it. The type of people that buy it turn it into a burlesque house. Will you not complain?

[annie24]

My neighbourhood watch doesn't want these people in the neighbourhood at all. They feel that what they are doing should not be allowed. However, they were not able to get them to not run this type of business in our neighbourhood.

 

is this a business or a charity? they may well have all the required permits. in my city, if you want to have any kind of business or charity, there are many city meetings and committees and licenses that must be obtained, all of which are open to public discussion.

[annie24]

But honestly, if lived in a neighbourhood where there are a bunch of little kids and you had little kids yourself. Then one day the house accross the street sells and these people buy it. The type of people that buy it turn it into a burlesque house. Will you not complain?

 

that is different. there are zoning restrictions set up in all cities determining whether an area is residential, commercial, or mixed. they can turn it into a burlesque house if the zoning for the area says a business that provides adult services and liquor is ok. chances are that no city will allow a burlseque joint to in a residential neighborhood. they wouldn't even open up an ice cream store in a neighborhood marked residential. that's what city ordinances are for.

 

i don't know what these nuns have set up. maybe you can schedule an appointment with them and ask what they have done? maybe they can tell you themselves?

[glegend]

Why would your gf leave you over the problems your having with these neighbors?

 

There was a bunch of things that happened in a short period of time, that my girlfriend didn't like. Some of them resulted in the cops being called. The day the my girl left me I almost got arrested because these neighbours stuck their nose where it didn't beling and tried to get me arrested.

 

What is the reason you don't like your neighbors? Have you or your family had harsh words with them in the past?

 

I just don't like them. In the summer they usually have dinner parties which last late at night. But the sit on their deck over their garage, which was donew without a permit, and they make a lot of noise. They don't shovel the snow. The car situation and because they are constantly brining strange people in the neighbourhood. They also through a block party for their refugee house and close off part of my street, which prevents access to my diveway and they even have the nerves to set up tables/chairs on my property without permission. Last summer when they did this my grandma was inside my house and came out and yelled at them. As well as the snow situation

[glegend]

is this a business or a charity? they may well have all the required permits. in my city, if you want to have any kind of business or charity, there are many city meetings and committees and licenses that must be obtained, all of which are open to public discussion.

 

It is a business.

 

that is different. there are zoning restrictions set up in all cities determining whether an area is residential, commercial, or mixed. they can turn it into a burlesque house if the zoning for the area says a business that provides adult services and liquor is ok. chances are that no city will allow a burlseque joint to in a residential neighborhood. they wouldn't even open up an ice cream store in a neighborhood marked residential. that's what city ordinances are for.

 

i don't know what these nuns have set up. maybe you can schedule an appointment with them and ask what they have done? maybe they can tell you themselves?

 

You just said the two magic words. Zoning Restrictions. My neighbourhood is strickly residential. I could probably go and talk to the nuns, maybe they might here me out. They didn't hear out the rest of my neighbours. The nuns run one of the high schools my area and I know a few girls that attend that school.

[annie24]

you're not really being clear about what happened. why did they call the cops on you? it's not like you were just sitting there, twiddling your thumbs on the sofa and they decided to call the cops?

 

well - as for the party, look into noise ordinances in your neighborhood. if there are none, i guess you can go ahead and petion city hall that one is instituted in your neighborhood. (and you would be the first 19 year old ever to ask for that i bet!!!)

 

maybe you should talk to the nuns who run the place, and since there is a frequent turn-over in residents at the house, ask them to make it more clear to the tenants/occupants that the sidewalk needs to be shoveled, etc, they need to be mindful of parking, etc... if you do so nicely, they might accommodate you. or, since this is charity work, maybe you can shovel their sidewalk for them!

[annie24]

It is a business.

 

 

 

You just said the two magic words. Zoning Restrictions. My neighbourhood is strickly residential. I could probably go and talk to the nuns, maybe they might here me out. They didn't hear out the rest of my neighbours. The nuns run one of the high schools my area and I know a few girls that attend that school.

 

are you sure it is a business? this isn't my area of expertise, but what the nuns have set up sounds like a private temporary residence, which doesn't sound like a business to me at all. maybe you should find out more about it.

 

My family took in members of my extended family as refugees during a war about 15 years ago. it was our house, our business, and i would be shocked if our neighbors tried to tell us we couldn't do that.

[glegend]

you're not really being clear about what happened. why did they call the cops on you? it's not like you were just sitting there, twiddling your thumbs on the sofa and they decided to call the cops?

 

I was doing some work on my ex's car. I got distracted somehow and over tighend the spark plug by accident, I even snapped the rachet at the same time. I was cursing the car out, and I dropped everything. I decided to cut the grass and then go back to the car. I was putting some gas in the mower, my grandma came out and I looked up spilt some gas and she started yelling at me in greek. I yelled back at her for a minute or tow. I was telling her it happened my accident and nothing is going to happen don't worry, not to be crazy. She was yelling at that the house is going to catch fire, and that I don't know what I am doing and that I should wait for my dad to come home and get him to put the gas in the machine. I also threw the machine accross my yard and kicked a plant over. My mom came out and her and my girlfriend were talking to me and I was talking to them expaining what was going on. These people saw me kick the plant and they came over and they are like this is my neighbourhood and I will not stand to see violence at all and they called the cops. Cops came and would not arrest me they were actually laughing, but my neighbours insisted in them arresting me. After that my girl said thats it I can't take any more if this, I think we need some time apart from each other. I'll leave you the car until you can repair it and then bring it back. They were the only neighbours that came out and stuck their nose in my business. For all they could have know when I knocked over the plant I could of been doing some landscaping and was taking the plant out.

 

are you sure it is a business? this isn't my area of expertise, but what the nuns have set up sounds like a private temporary residence, which doesn't sound like a business to me at all. maybe you should find out more about it.

 

My family took in members of my extended family as refugees during a war about 15 years ago. it was our house, our business, and i would be shocked if our neighbors tried to tell us we couldn't do that.

 

100% sure its a business. This is what my aunt and other neighbours were told when they initially moved in.

[jenny_mcs]

 

Also, I want to know why no one sees brining strange people into a residential neighbourhood for a short period of time constantly as a safety concern?

 

I don't understand this at all. Do you think you should have some sort of approval as to who moves into your neighborhood? You keep talking about "strange people" in your posts- what makes them strange to you- the fact that you don't know them or the fact that they are from another country? If a family with a mom, dad, & 2 kids who are of your same ethnicity/culture bought the house next door, are they also "strange people"? Do you think you should also have approval over whether they live there?

 

If they really are breaking laws, you can contact your local police via the non-emergency number and have them handle your complaint. That is what we did when some neighbors were doing renovations and the construction guys were starting their work at 7 am. We called the city, confirmed that no work such as this could occur before 8 am on weekdays at before 9 am on weekends. My husband went over the next morning at 7:15, explained the law, and when they did not stop work, he called the police via the non-emergency number. The police came, and told the guys they could not be working that early, and if it happened again, both the home owner & the construction company would be fined and have their permits pulled. Problem solved.

[annie24]

100% sure its a business. This is what my aunt and other neighbours were told when they initially moved in.

 

ok, so that's what they were told, they had permission from the city then??? well if so, then maybe you should move into a residential neighborhood yourself, and away from a mixed use neighborhood if it bothers you so much.

[annie24]

yes, i agree completely. if they are breaking laws, then call the police on them.

[glegend]

I don't understand this at all. Do you think you should have some sort of approval as to who moves into your neighborhood? You keep talking about "strange people" in your posts- what makes them strange to you- the fact that you don't know them or the fact that they are from another country? If a family with a mom, dad, & 2 kids who are of your same ethnicity/culture bought the house next door, are they also "strange people"? Do you think you should also have approval over whether they live there?

 

I never said anyone who wants to purchase a house and move into my neighbourhood should have approval by me. What makes these people strange? Because they come and go, you have no idea who they are or what they are up to. If someone moved in next door I wouldn't care who they are because I would eventually get to know them. I have new neighbours next door. They moved in a few weeks ago, they are pretty good. They stay quiet and don't disturb anyone. they shovel the snow and dont bug anyone.