Talk me out of being excited

[catfish1199]

Well I was at a bar. Sitting inbetween two female friends and in walks my Ex. We were pretty much the only people there. We both smiled from ear to ear when we made eye contact. She hugged me and had a seat. We began talking and we didnt stop until it was closing time. We both could not stop smiling.

 

She popped up with a question about an hour in, which was "Do you need some kind of closure?" (because I had written an email to a friend of mine asking for advice that she found out about). That sparked our conversation about US. I made it clear that we were doing the right thing by working on ourselves to reach our potential. I let her know that I have faith that we there was something for us in the future, but it is too early to take a serious look at it. At one point she started to talk about where I went wrong. I said "I know what happened, but lets not talk about that. Thats the past. What matters is the present and the future". She said "youre right".

 

When it was time to leave, I walked her to her car. We were holding eachother. She offered to drive me to my car, which was 100 yards away LOL. We sat in her car and she teared up. I told her that I was still crazy about her, but lets continue working on ourselves. We hugged and she couldnt let go.

 

I looked her in the eyes and said "you want to kiss me dont you", turns out she did, becasue we made out for a couple minutes.

 

I left with her teary eyed, and said "if you want to call me, you can, but I dont feel that i should call you" She just nodded her head and smiled.

 

On a negative note, she did say "I want you to get out there and meet some girls" I said "dont you worry about me, I'll take care of that" and she said "i bet" with a smile and then my phone rang, which we had a good laugh about.

She also didnt tell me much about her feelings. I guess that is why I need some ideas from all of you about her actions.

 

Talk some sense into me and tell me that this doesnt mean anything or that it does. I just need experienced opinions because I feel like this is a very positive sign. To me it means that there is alot of feeling still there, and whe we have grown into the individuals we should have been, then there is a strong possibility that we can grow back together.

[Strung_Out00]

It seems that there is still a ton of feelings left between you two. While it is good to work on oneself, don't let to much time pass before she falls into someone else's arms. Don't rush it, but at the same time don't be too slow on acting upon what happened that night.

 

Make contact with her...try to meet up again. Keep it light and fun. Make her see the reasons she fell for you in the first place. Save the heavy mushy emotional stuff for a few meetings down the road.

[looloolola]

why did u two break up?

[Sparkie]

I left with her teary eyed, and said "if you want to call me, you can, but I dont feel that i should call you" She just nodded her head and smiled.

 

All seems pretty good to me. Both have feelings, both working on yourselves, good interaction - nice.

 

I'd say leave her be for a little while to process what happened. You told her she can call so at least give her the opportunity to. You can always text her in a week or so saying you 'couldn't help it' and just wanted to say 'hi'. She won't mind I'm sure. Be cool, but don't let her slip away

[Pandaman211]

Part of what sequence of events did this happen? Before or after making out? At the bar?

[catfish1199]

why did u two break up?

 

She felt underappreciated because I have been depressed about my direction in life. She said her feelings changed for me because I changed. Also, a couple of her friends had been saying that she deserved better. They were right. She does. I want to be better for myself, but also for her.

[catfish1199]

Part of what sequence of events did this happen? Before or after making out? At the bar?

 

We made out in the car, I left not too long after that. The part where she said I want oyu to go out there and meet some girls was also said in the car but before the kiss.

 

Everything else happened pretty much in the sequence I wrote it.

[Pandaman211]

We made out in the car, I left not too long after that. The part where she said I want oyu to go out there and meet some girls was also said in the car but before the kiss.

 

Everything else happened pretty much in the sequence I wrote it.

 

Well thats good to hear isnt it? If she did after making out, that would be plain out lame and playing games.

 

You seem to be playing this perfectly man. I am really really impressed. You didn't flip, flinch, anything, you keep your cool. I'm not going to talk you out of it because there is definitely still something there. Continue going with the flow. However, DO NOT, while acknowledging this is positive, put all your eggs in one basket. We all know how that turns out. Have no expectations, but at the same time, but be optimistic and fun while you're with her. It seems like you know what you're doing at this point, b/c I think you played it perfectly, and most importantly, you were yourself.

 

Take it by ear. You have firsthand experience now how being calm, cool, confident, and mature about things yields positive results. So why make things hard on yourself and take the generic "tell them you won't have them back unless they are seriously considering a relationship, that you're healing, bla bla bla". This should be taken in only certain circumstances, and you don't seem to fall under the category. So continue taking it in stride. A lot of people in your situation end up getting hurt b/c they are too attached to the situation/outcome. Learn from this, and be detached.

 

If you get to a point where you are starting to get hurt, I would bet on it that you changed your approach somewhere along the road, and at that point, you would change your direction. But at this point, keep trucking, hang out, live it up, if your ex calls great, but in the meantime you're going to be enjoying life.

[Pandaman211]

But if you get too excited, it'll show, and you'll end up being like the many hurt people on here after they started moving towards the right direction with their ex. The way that you acted resulting in the way things went should be proof to you of how you need to be and act (and get on with your life and don't expect much). See how you weren't expecting anything and something came good out of it? Learn and take from your experiences. Good luck man

[catfish1199]

OK, I may be on the verge of being able to write a success story. STay tuned.

 

Well, I hung out with ehr again last night. I was at a tattoo shop near her work and she texted that she needed to get something from me that I had with me, so I told her where I was and to come over.

 

She did, and she hung out for a while. We had a good time laughing alot, talking about our next tattoos and what to do about her current one, which I designed.

 

She was leaving and she got a call from her friend. They decided to go out to "the" bar. I said "well I was going to go but I guess I'll go somewhere else, I dont think its a good idea to be hanging out like that". She said dont worry about it, you can come.

 

Well I ended up going, and I hung out with her and some of our friends that we both used to hang out with. She stuck by me most of the time. She bought us both a shot of Jameson, which she said "I havent had since we broke up". I was only there for about an hour and then decided to pull up the bait. We hugged goodbye with her very noticeably teary eyed.

 

Question is..... Does she really just want to be friends? Is she upset because she knows that I have hope and she is sad for me or is sad because she knows that she will have to break my heart....again? As you can see these questions are very negative, which I feel like I have to ask myself. I think it is good to keep the negative scenarios a possibilty in my mind.

[Pandaman211]

Bold part is HIGHLY unlikely, with the way things are going. Only way this would be possible if there was something you left out, or something vital sign/implication that could've only been experienced if we all were there in person. Otherwise, from a third person view, I doubt it.