gal1989 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Hi im 19 nearly 20, been with my bf 2 n a half years, been having sex for 2 years now and weve only ever had sex with each other. just ive never had an orgasm... and i dont really like masturbating, it bores me, so i cant practice that way and I want an orgasm with my partner coz itl be better, and not with myself. Has everyone that has orgasmd masturbated and learnt how to do it? As ive read that masturbation and practice is the only way to learn! I want an orgasm! lol And after 2 years why havnt i had one!?](*,) Thanks alot xxx Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 are you playing with your clit enough? do you at least feel some pleasure when you touch your clit?does he go down on you at all? Does your sex involve enough foreplay? What kind of a lover is he? answar these questions plz then we can talk. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 how is masturbation boring?!?! if it's boring you aren't doing it right...if you don't like orgasming by yourself i don't know how you can like it with someone else... Link to comment
gal1989 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 i dont touch myself that often and when i do i get bored after 10 seconds n dont want to. yeh he goes down on me and i think we do enough foreplay yes :S what exactly is "enough" foreplay tho? lol Ummm u mean is he good at stuff or rubbish at stuff..? lol Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 bored after 10 seconds?!??! how long can you have sex for? if you don't want to put any effort or time in to it i don't see how you will cum... Link to comment
gal1989 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 how is masturbation boring?!?! if it's boring you aren't doing it right...if you don't like orgasming by yourself i don't know how you can like it with someone else... its not that im doing it wrong, i do feel pleasure out of it but i just find it boring me doing it, dunno why. Link to comment
gal1989 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 bored after 10 seconds?!??! how long can you have sex for? if you don't want to put any effort or time in to it i don't see how you will cum... ...Bored when I feel MYSELF, not when my PARTNER touches me.... I prefer him doing stuff to me than me doing stuff to me. How long can i have sex for?? Link to comment
philomela Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Women are all different when it comes to orgasming through sexual intercourse. Some find it very easy, while others do not. I definitely fit in the latter category.It took me a very long time to actually orgasm during intercourse, and even then I had to employ my own methods to help things a long the way. I think a lot of the problem was I was so used to doing it my own way that it took time before I realised that there were ways I could make it happen with him part of the process as well. Why don't you try using some of your techniques that you know work for you while you are having intercourse with him.? For instance, if stimulating any certain areas really do it for you, you can teach him what to do and he can try. I think that there is no quick and easy solution for this situation though. One of the most important things is to be relaxed. I cannot tell you how many times I'd sit there and think, "orgasm! orgasm!" and of course it would never work because I was so tense about trying to force it to happen. Even if you don't orgasm, isn't it still a pleasurable, nice moment between you and your boyfriend.? Learn to enjoy it and try not to worry so much about "finishing". The couple times I orgasmed without help from my traditional methods, I didn't expect it at all. I was relaxed, I just enjoyed the moment. i think another important factor is foreplay. It gives your body time to get warmed up and in the mood.Spend a half hour just hugging and kissing, just being close. Let the passion grow and take it from there.It can enhance the entire experience like you wouldn't believe. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I don't much care for masturbating either. When my boyfriend does it, it feels amazing. But when I do it, it just feels meh. Link to comment
Cardinal Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 When you are alone, what your mind is doing is every bit as important as what you hand is doing. If you get bored after 10 seconds, it is your mind that isn't into it. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 ok, masterbation is boring for you because you didn't have experiment orgasm before and you don't know if it is going to work so you just stop doing it. Keep in mind to be able to orgasm you have to want to orgasm, so you have to put more effort in it. I would say if you dont like to do it yourself at all, try it with your partner. First have a lot of foreplay, kissing, touching massages and then him teasing you in clit area like ask him to stimulate you to the point your clit is and then stop and then do it again. Ask him to continue kissing or rubbing you while playing with you. the point is you should be really turned on. it even may take hours but it is worth it. At the end hopefully it makes you orgasm real hard! lol You can do it with yourself when you are alone to. (don't do it with penetration included if you ask me, first learn how to orgasm with clit which is easier). as far as vaginal orgasm, many women (me and kuiks included!) can not have it! So maybe now just focus on your clit and try to have that which is easier, Then you can have bigger goals!lol Link to comment
philomela Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I don't much care for masturbating either. When my boyfriend does it, it feels amazing. But when I do it, it just feels meh. LOL. I'm the opposite. But I guess if he's doing it wrong, show the boy how to do it right! ForsakenLove, that's true about the men not lasting long after the built up tension. But if the extra foreplay helps her be close to orgasming, then maybe the duration of the sex doesn't matter all that much. I think that you should invest more time in masturbating, or at least spend more time with him masturbating you. It will be hard for your body to respond when you don't entirely figure out how to make it respond.With practice, your bodys responsivity and reaction time will quicken, and even become more sensitive. I agree with others that mention the mental aspect. What turns you on? Maybe you need to look at things or watch some movies or etc (and not necessarily porn....maybe an understatedly-sexy foreign film). Learning these things about yourself and being AWARE of what works for you, not just physically, will help. Link to comment
philomela Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 LOL! Very good advice though! I've only had a vaginal orgasm like, twice. Total. And both times I was shocked, let me tell you!!! LOL But I sure don't expect it to happen. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 LOL! Very good advice though! I've only had a vaginal orgasm like, twice. Total. And both times I was shocked, let me tell you!!! LOL But I sure don't expect it to happen. lol, how did it feel? can you tell us? I'm like a blind person who asks other ppl to describe the world for them!lol Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 lol, how did it feel? can you tell us? I'm like a blind person who asks other ppl to describe the world for them!lol HILARIOUS!!!! as am i worried as am I!!!! I still believe that one day it will happen for me... Link to comment
philomela Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 lol, how did it feel? can you tell us? I'm like a blind person who asks other ppl to describe the world for them!lol OH man......how to describe the feeling of a vaginal orgasm?? Is this possible??? It feels much the same as a regular orgasm, but kind of, floating. lol.and in that I mean, there isn't as much of a feeling of outside vibration and stimulation but a (obviously) more internal humming/vibration. It went by quickly, too. LOL. I guess everyone will feel it differently. It feels good of course, but there's something a bit more gentle about it for me. I think it's because my normal orgasms involve a lot of concentrated rubbing and pressure. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 HILARIOUS!!!! as am i worried as am I!!!! I still believe that one day it will happen for me... hang in there kuiks! by the way, did you try my suggestion of touching yourself while having sex at all? or you want to cum just by thrusting? Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 hang in there kuiks! by the way, did you try my suggestion of touching yourself while having sex at all? or you want to cum just by thrusting? i can't make it work...something with the way the skin is around my clit when we are doing it...i have tried but i can't make it work... *sigh* Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 i can't make it work...something with the way the skin is around my clit when we are doing it...i have tried but i can't make it work... *sigh* hah? can I ask what is that sth? I really can not see why you can not work it?! you mean it hurts to touch or what? Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 no it doesn't hurt...it's that it gets stretched so there is no skin around teh clit really and it is like i don't feel anything...hard to explain... Link to comment
philomela Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 i can't make it work...something with the way the skin is around my clit when we are doing it...i have tried but i can't make it work... *sigh* Is the skin too sensitive? If so, don't touch it directly...maybe stick a towel down there and use that to rub instead? The couple times I came from vaginal intercourse, I remember feeling stimulation first on the outer lips. If you come from clitoral stimulation, maybe you can try a different position wherein he rubs against you while penetrating, so you might not even have to involve your hand? Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 no it doesn't hurt...it's that it gets stretched so there is no skin around teh clit really and it is like i don't feel anything...hard to explain... ok , I used to feel EXACTLY like you when I first did it! I could not really feel anything and it was hard. Keep doing it please, it will work at the end Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 what's this towel thing?!?! I can cum from oral and from touching myself but when you add in the man i get distracted or something...*shrugs* i don't know really... when he is on top my clit is stretched thin...when we do it doggie i am holding my weight on both arms so i can't touch myself then...when i am on top same kind of thing as when he is on top..my clit just doesn't feel right... Link to comment
greywolf Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 what's this towel thing?!?! I can cum from oral and from touching myself but when you add in the man i get distracted or something...*shrugs* i don't know really... when he is on top my clit is stretched thin...when we do it doggie i am holding my weight on both arms so i can't touch myself then...when i am on top same kind of thing as when he is on top..my clit just doesn't feel right... kuiks have you tried having him go down on you while he fingers you? Then when you get close to orgasming he should focus more on your g-spot instead of your clit. That usually works for me. If that works it might be easier for you to cum from penetration. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 apparently my g-spot is hard to access...his fingers cramp... Link to comment
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