Walk away or Wait it out?

[notme12345]

When I went to college this past august, I was still madly in love with the guy I dated all of senior year. Almost immediately, he fell for another girl. He immediately told me he stopped loving me. Long story short, this girl ended up not liking him and hurt him. He told me he wanted to be friends, I accepted, but i was still very hurt by him. He broke my heart. On new years, under the influence, a few days ago. He revealed that he still loved me, I was beautiful,that I was the most amazing girl... you can imagine what he can say.

 

He can't bring him self to say what he said, but he will tell me that he meant everything. But, he also wants to go back to school and hook up with girls. At other parties and when he we talk now, he still treats me like I am nothing to him. We always argue. Always giving me ultimatums, ("Whatever, youre being ridiculous, we'll talk later").

 

Maybe I am being a little ridiculous, but he really hurt me, and I get mad at him for everything. He wants nothing to do with me romantically, and he has done nothing for me to forgive him for breaking my heart. He actually still treats me like * * * * .

 

Obviously I can't put the entire aspect of our relationship into a single post, but I tried to sum it up.

 

He says he wants to be friends, but it isn't the idea of friends I consider. He thinks we should talk varely rarely... and briefly. He keeps on hurting me and hurting me (I can explain, but they are rational). He isn't that great of a guy, and he isn't trying hard.

 

So, should i just give up on trying this friendship, since it is hurting me so much? Or should I still try and talk out all of our problems, and see if I can forgive him?

[alli]

I don't think it is possible to be "just friends" with an ex immediately after you have broken up. Why do you even want to be friends with him if he treats you so badly? No contact is the fastest way to healing for you. Just stop talking to him & don't respond to him when he tries to contact you. But of course, first tell him you do not want to be friends with him or talk to him anymore. It really is the best thing for you.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think you deserve to be treated better than this, he's only offering you "crumbs", and you're worth much more than that.

 

As far as being friends with him, you need to realize that real friends don't treat each other like that.

 

Wishing you the best...

[notme12345]

Thank you. It is just so hard, because I do want him in my life so badly, but it just hurts so much for him to be there. I am meeting with him tomorrow to have the final conversation. I would gladly be fine with walking away from this relationship and ignorning his calls or contact for a few days, but that wont happen. I will say good bye, and he will forget about me, and move on. And that will hurt even more. He won't try to contact me. He is not one to actually do anything romantic or act upon anything.

[dur-LiveIt]

Hey Wendy,

 

I agree with the posts here. He is not really offering you anything worth while, only a lot of confusion, pain, and angst.

 

Maybe you should be asking yourself why you still want him in your life?

 

You were his girlfriend and now he could possibly be setting you up to be merely a booty call now and then, when you are willing.

 

You deserve more then this and only by truly getting over him and past him will you be able to find it.

 

Walking away seems like the best option to me. Though it won't be easy, and most likely the hardest thing you may think you have ever tried to do, once past it, you can live your own life again.

 

Good luck, I hope things get better soon.