Some of these guys contacting me are "too pretty"!!!

[jhinesis]

This will sound silly...but it's something that I'm worried about. I am pretty new to online dating. I've never been on a dating site before now and I've gotten a surprising amount of attention there. Like more attention than I can respond too almost.

 

Any way, my concern is that some of these guys who are contacting me seem---in my eyes---to be out of my league! Like they could do better. I don't have the greatest self-esteem, but I'm not blind. Some of these dudes could be male-models! I'm not trying to dicriminate against "hotties" but I feel like guys like this may be disappointed when they meet *me*! lol

 

I have nice pics---they're all very recent, but of course I picked only my best pictures and of course I'm wearing my best outfits with make up. I do look decent in the pics, but I guess I'm worried I'm not "that girl" all the time. Any way, I guess I'm wondering what I should do here... how do I respond to some of these very eager, very attractive people?

[JadedStar]

Hmm, that suonds odd. Usually there are more average to under average looking men than male model looking types. Do you think they are giving you their real pics? LOL

[Cognitive_Canine]

Either they aren't giving you their real pics, or these guys are very shy and do not date.

 

I know a guy like this. He is very anti-social and refuses to date nor socialize unless it is with one of his classmates (that's how I know him). However, he is very good looking.

[nutbrownhare]

Respond the same way you would anyone else ... take your time, get to know them, see if you have interests in common ... all the usual stuff.

 

They're only people! And they were attracted to YOUR photo - you've got absolutely nothing to worry about on that front - obviously. I think you can allow yourself a little preen there!

 

However, all the warnings about online dating still apply, but they would, no matter what the guys look like.

 

Good luck, and wishing you a whole pile of fun!

[jhinesis]

Well, it's not like *all of them* are hot. Many of them are too old for me, too far away, or average looking. But there are a few that are really attractive and seem very eager. Any way, it's very odd! I wish I got this much attention in real life! I don't get out all that much I guess...I work alot--and with all girls.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Take it as it is.

 

So, they are good looking. See what else they have to offer you as a boyfriend and go from there.

[hmdreamer7]

I say don't judge a book by it's cover! Yes, looks are important, but that's only one aspect of meeting someone new. You should not only gives these guys a chance, but give yourself a chance to open up to men you find really attractive. Get to know them like you would with anyone that you meet for the first time. And don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure that these guys see something in your pics that they really like, as well as on your profile.

[Zonestar]

I'm not one of the aforementioned "hotties", but I did want to comment on what you said.

 

Different people find different things attractive. What a given person honestly finds attractive can differ in many ways from the established norm of what's considered "hot". Speaking for myself, a lot (maybe even most) of the female celebrities who are established as the standard of attractiveness do nothing for me with their appearance. But there are other women who are like instant crush material for me.

 

Out in the "offline world", there is tremendous social pressure to appear interested in and date people who fit the narrowly defined popular consensus of "attractive", over what you personally find attractive. For someone who's generally considered "hot" themselves, the pressure is even higher.

 

On an online dating site, this pressure isn't there as much, since you're contacting people privately, without being watched by everyone else. It makes it easier to go for what you really like. And maybe these "hotties" just really like you.

 

Don't forget, too, that guys do read your profile description, and there could be things in there that really click with them. It's about more than just your photos.

 

I'm not trying to dicriminate against "hotties" but I feel like guys like this may be disappointed when they meet *me*! lol

(Again, just speaking as a guy here, and not as a member of the "hotties" demographic.) A few weeks ago, I started messaging with a woman on a dating site who's photos really appealed to me (as did the fact that she was smart, funny, and very articulate). I told her she was devastatingly adorable (because she is), and she insisted that she's not at all, and that she's perfected the art of setting up photos, and is very selective about the ones she posts. We talked on the phone a couple times, and set up a time to meet in person. Before we met (on the day we were meeting), she got really stressed out about meeting, and said she was very scared that she wasn't going to match what was in my head, and that I'd be let down. (She was very open, honest, and direct about things, which is one of the things I liked about her.)

 

We met, and I was thoroughly enamored with her. Everything about her appealed to me. The particular contours of her face, the way she moved her eyes, the shape of her nose, the way she held her lower lip a little off to one side when she was about to say something. All of it.

 

Sadly, we didn't really match up in some other ways, so it didn't work out (which was very disappointing). But I was definitely not disappointed when I met her.

 

As others said, the usual internet safety rules apply, but keep your mind open to the potential that these guys really do like you.

[annie24]

hm - maybe you are better looking than you think....??? and maybe some of these guys have put up their very best photos too!

 

just go with it and have fun, ok?

[catfeeder]

Good for you, especially for being honest with your concerns.

 

The right guy for you will recognize you when he meets you even if you've got bed-hed and no makeup.

 

Give the pretties credit for wanting to connect on a human level with someone who is their match beyond good skin care.

 

It's natural to want to be liked, but if you consider this YOUR screening process, you've got a great opportunity to narrow those contacts to find the right match for you.

 

It's not about pleasing every body. It only takes one.

 

In your corner.

[D_Lish]

Lucky you I say. Most of those that contacted me, had faces only a mother could love.....lol.

 

But now and again, I'd get a 'pretty boy'......only years younger, so that counted him out. Or they were 'boring' conversationalists, yawwwnz

 

There were very, very few, of whose pics I was attracted too

[Brightest Dark]

Can you send the pretty ones my way? Like D, I have yet to see any cute boys (well, just one) on there... Guess I'm too picky.

[starpoint]

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you really are much prettier than you give yourself credit for!!!

[25thfloor]

I hear exactly what you're saying. and for me, they turned out to be 'just good pictures' not what they really look like, or the picutures are too old. i've never met a man face to face (from online dating) that looks as good as his picture.

[ladyblue07]

A lot of these guys probably are like you using the pics that make them look their very best. Just relax and don't get your hopes up too high till you see what they're like in person.

[amipushy]

Some guys just do the rounds, they see a newbie and just home in on them.