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Not sure if im jealous or just filled with hatred


flgirl777

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Okay so I used to have a very good girlfriend & when i went away to college we started to drift (she stayed back & didnt go to college but worked at the mall - shes kind of an ignorant girl who got married at 18 and a month later said she should have never gotten married.. just not a good decision maker) .. she kind of replaced me with a new girl after i had gone away. this wasnt that big of a deal because i had obviously moved on & made new friends too & had started to realize that her and i were on different levels anyways - i was always listening to her & giving her advice & she could have cared less about what was going on in my life.. but shes the kind of person that seems to do things deliberately to get a rise out of someone... like put "BEST FRIENDS" underneath their pictures and stuff... so im not sure if im jealous or just annoyed because she seems so stupid. i feel like ive gotten away from the whole "best friends" concept and kind of think its childish.... but anyways this is 6 months later since shes been super close with this girl. we still communicate maybe every other day over the internet (facebook/ myspace)but i feel im just super irritated by her.. anytime she leaves me comments or messages me i feel like i hate the girl more than like her but still keep responding i have no idea why i even get so heated about the situation but i almost have a physical reaction anytime i see her screen name pop up... can anyone give a possible explanation of this? and any ideas as to how i can get it to go away or possibly cut ties with her? im not a mean person & couldnt imagine just telling her i dont want to be her friend ( even tho i feel like i hate her... its so weird) HELP!!!!

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Do you remember the moment you went from having good, friendly feelings toward to feeling annoyed & irritated?

 

Or do you feel like she replaced you with this new friend? You feel like the term "best friends" is for fourth graders who wear matching bracelets, but the truth is sometimes we have people who we feel are really close to; closer than all others.

 

When I was in high school I had a friend I considered my best friend. We lived together for a year in college, which really did not work out. She puts up all these pictures of her at the bar with a drink in one hand & a different guy in the other trying to look sexy. It just annoys the heck out of me. I'm not jealous; I'd rather have what I have with my bf than what she has with her alcohol & her 500 guys. It's like, my god, grow up already, you're 24.

 

Maybe your just bitter at thinking of the friendship you used to have & how it seems she is stuck in terms of maturing beyond high school level.

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Yes I remember it was whenever she started cheating on her fiance... when the wedding was a couple months around the corner.. and she would constantly ask me for my advice about stuff with the guy she was cheating with AND with the fiance... but then she would never take my advice on anything... & she started to only talk about herself.. and when i told her a story or something it was like she wasnt even listening & forgot what i said if i brought it up at another time (because she obviously wasnt paying much attention to what was going on with me) so i think mostly i feel like i wasted months of my time on her.. ya know. and then we got into a huge fight & i told her off... & then she became best friends with that new girl... & i kinda thought that was a smack in the face - but i dont know how to get away from her... i could just delete her from everything but then she'd call me or txt ya know?

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Ummm, why not just not be friends anymore if she makes you so mad? You're not obligated to be her friend, no matter the reason. friends grow and change and drift apart and back together again.

yeah, i understand that - its just at this point in time im not sure whats the best way to get away from her .. like if i should just delete her from everything.. or just slowly stop responding to her? i know shes just going to start nagging me if i do stop talking to her.. she'll flip the situation on me & say im being dramatic or something. i hate being a * * * * * to people but i also hate the feelings i get when i talk to her...

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Start talking to her less & less. Instead of responding every day, respond every 2 days for a while. Then 3, then 4, then take week. In 6 months you will hardly talk to her at all & maybe then, when you do talk, it won't irritate you so much. It's like weining a baby off a bottle. Gradual. Then it won't be so abrupt or noticeable.

 

You could tell her how you really feel & that you don't want to talk to her so much, but personally I don't like to create bad blood & burn bridges when it isn't necessary. So I recommend the first thing I said.

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Start talking to her less & less. Instead of responding every day, respond every 2 days for a while. Then 3, then 4, then take week. In 6 months you will hardly talk to her at all & maybe then, when you do talk, it won't irritate you so much. It's like weining a baby off a bottle. Gradual. Then it won't be so abrupt or noticeable.

 

You could tell her how you really feel & that you don't want to talk to her so much, but personally I don't like to create bad blood & burn bridges when it isn't necessary. So I recommend the first thing I said.

alright thank you that is a good idea...

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