TexasDad Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 So I'm kind of new to this internet dating since last time I was single the internet wasn't around. But I've been on more than a few blind dates since I got divorced last year and well I meet these women on singles sites and what not talk to them, they seem normal and for the most part are, but it took me by surprise that they all want to sleep with me on the first date, now I ain't complaining and really see nothing wrong with it I mean hey I'm 44 years old and these women have all been in the age range of 35-42, nurses, secretaries, all hard working gals so is this normal? Do most of you women in this age range just go for it, if it feels right? Is it because you get to know each other online beforehand so you are more comfortable? Like I said I see nothing wrong with it, I mean if you want sex why not go for it, it just took me by surprise how much things have changed. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 It looks like I will need to come to you for pointers if I am ever ready.........))I'm scared(( Nice to hear you are out there. lost Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I never sleep with anybody on the first date... i don't like sleeping with someone i consider a stranger! I think some women do this if they're only looking for sex and not a relationship, and others are afraid if they don't sleep with you, you won't call them again. Depends on what you want from the date... if you're happy with it fine, but if you want to get to know them better first, then tell them. Many will probably be relieved that it is not expected of them to sleep with you on the first date. Link to comment
FortunateOne Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I must agree with your analysis since 50% of the women I date also want sex very early on. I often wonder why it wasn't this easy in my twenties? For now I just decline the offers due to my spiritual faith and I feel somber for the lost art of traditional dating values. Link to comment
RUTMONKEY Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 as u see, the internet is a very powerful medium. the written word whether in a penned letter,a text message, or by the web is profoundly more powerful than when spoken in person. and your quite right, generally, i think women are far more comfortable with this medium than anything else they have tried. i was a little surprised like you are at attitudes, but its best to keep an open mind at all times, without altering your overall perception of the female species. if theyre comfortable and happy, then your happy, right ? the world is a changing my friend... Link to comment
Portage Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 i expect a connection before sex is involved, so no, you can't classify me as quick to jump in the sack. Nada Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I have 'traditional' values and wouldn't sleep with someone on a first date. Or second or third for that matter. I'm 38, incidentally. I've also made it clear on my dating profile that I'm not looking for that. Link to comment
winter whiteout Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 There are so many people out there starved for affection and sex especially in the late thirties on up that are divorced or even never been married and we all get to the point if we meet someone we are attracted to and they seem attracted to us we lose all our senses and want to just go for it without thinking how it could hurt us in the end. I have not had that opportunity since my ex husband left 3 years ago and have not had one date since he left. Men are not attracted to me like they were when I was in my thirties. But I have not had sex for actually 4 years I just figured out. Everyday my body is screaming at me to have sex with an actual man and not just BOB but the truth is if I get the opportunity to date again I really don't know how I will react being so starved for love and sex but I am hoping I will hold back because of course it could hurt more in the end to jump into having sex because you are so starved for it. I don't know if this answers your question at all but I am 45 and wish you the best of luck being out there in the dating world. Link to comment
heaven66 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 i expect a connection before sex is involved, so no, you can't classify me as quick to jump in the sack. Nada I have to agree..there has to be passion, a very deep feeling for me or i can't do it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I think the women you speak of are just pretty desperate. There are plenty of women who still want to get to know someone first before sleeping with them. If someone wants to jump your bones on the first date I would be very leery. Link to comment
KG Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 This seems very odd to me, too. The few women I am close to ( not dating ) would never do that. Perhaps a previous poster is right, want to "catch" you for a second date. Link to comment
Pressfit Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Being a man of planning that I tend to be, besides being a "Big Chicken", I'd have to get one of those full-body latex or rubber suits. I seen them with an expandable pouch you put your equipment in to keep it all safe. I'd post a pic but it would probably violate something here. Link to comment
TexasDad Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Being a man of planning that I tend to be, besides being a "Big Chicken", I'd have to get one of those full-body latex or rubber suits. I seen them with an expandable pouch you put your equipment in to keep it all safe. I'd post a pic but it would probably violate something here. Hahahahaha ^^^^That's funny Thing is these women seem to be nice girls and I am not passing judgment on anyone I can go either way but if I have gone out with a woman 3 consecutive weekends and not had sex with them I doubt I am going out with them again, but that is me, I've always had that rule, it elimeinates the women who want to be just "friends". And yes to the poster about why wasn't it this easy in our 20's...hmm wait that was 1984...hmmm maybe it? was you just had to pay a cover charge, buy them some drinks and dance with them all night...ahhh the 80's hahaha All my profiles I state I'm not lookin to hit it and quit it so to say, and the womens profiles all claim the same...Oh well like I said I'm not passing judgement either way, and I don't automatically think bad of a woman who does... Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 So if you go on three dates with a woman and don't get sex after the third date, then you're gone? Link to comment
bulletproof Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I'm 37, but have never internet dated. However, I would guess that these women are justifying it by thinking what I sometimes think myself: that I'm an adult, I want to have sex, and I'm past the point in my life where I want to play games or deny myself. However, I try not to act on this justification, because there are consequences, of course, and I seldom like what those consequences are. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Hmm..well, I guess that eliminates you and I as a couple. LOL. Seriously, that's too bad that you have that rule, especially in this day and age with STDs. You actually could be passing up some very nice women with that rule. At any rate, I am not sure then why you are astounded that the women want to bed you after 1 date if you will not see them if you haven't had sex by the third date. If they want to bed you on the first date I would think that would be a real bonus...don't have to wait until the third date to find out if they are a keeper or not. Link to comment
TexasDad Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Hmm..well, I guess that eliminates you and I as a couple. LOL. Seriously, that's too bad that you have that rule, especially in this day and age with STDs. You actually could be passing up some very nice women with that rule. At any rate, I am not sure then why you are astounded that the women want to bed you after 1 date if you will not see them if you haven't had sex by the third date. If they want to bed you on the first date I would think that would be a real bonus...don't have to wait until the third date to find out if they are a keeper or not. It's a pretty hard and fast rule for me because of my past experiences, I have found that after dating for 3 consecutive weekends if a woman hasn't slept with you more than likely she won't, sure there are exceptions to the rule (sounds like you are one of them) but you tend to get the girls who just want to be taken out all the time and take advantage of nice guys…But let me tell you if I was getting a good vibe off of a woman I’d bend my rule…haha Seriously STD's are not a problem; as you say in this day and age who has unprotected sex? I am astonished, because I am not pushing for this sex on the first date, I’d be fine without it, but I am a single man and I am not going to turn it down if I am attracted to the woman, I went most of an entire year without sex after my divorce and well it just wasn’t much fun LOL. But anyway in each of these cases it was the women who were the aggressors, I mean I only had the charm turned up to like 50% cuz I didn’t want to use it all up on the first date hahahaha no really I mean I am just an average guy, not like I am some “love guru” hahahaha I am just wondering if this is what it is going to be like or just a fluke, but really I guess there will always be women who do and women who don’t…kinda always been that way I guess. Link to comment
TexasDad Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 So if you go on three dates with a woman and don't get sex after the third date, then you're gone? Well not so much 3 dates as 3 concecutive weekend dates I mean heck that's almost a month and if you don't know if you are sexually attracted to someone by that time and you are an adult, really I mean what would you wait on? Barring religious beliefs I don't see the reason to wait any longer... Now this is only my opinion, again not passing judgement on anyone. Link to comment
TexasDad Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Hmm..well, I guess that eliminates you and I as a couple. LOL. And hahahaha I think if I flew to Canada from Texas 3 weekends in a row I'd need a lilttle to get me to come back for that 4th weekend LOL Couldn't imagine a Texan and a Canadian on a date...LOL You talk funny... No you talk funny... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Well not so much 3 dates as 3 concecutive weekend dates I mean heck that's almost a month and if you don't know if you are sexually attracted to someone by that time and you are an adult, really I mean what would you wait on? Barring religious beliefs I don't see the reason to wait any longer... Now this is only my opinion, again not passing judgement on anyone. I don't think it is necessarily about not being sexually attracted..it is a matter of some woman who don't want to have sex with someone unless they are in a committed relationship. Some women can be very sexual with a man they care about but do not want to give it up to a man who may or may not be interested in a committed relationship with them. I understand that you don't want to be friend-zoned and are trying to protect yourself from that...but by the same token many women want to protect themselves from just being a casual, no strings attached play thing....and it is unlikely after the third weekend date there is going to be any kind of exclusivity talk. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 And hahahaha I think if I flew to Canada from Texas 3 weekends in a row I'd need a lilttle to get me to come back for that 4th weekend LOL Couldn't imagine a Texan and a Canadian on a date...LOL You talk funny... No you talk funny... LOL...Given that we have been experiencing lots of below zero temperatures lately, I would be only too happy to fly down to Texas......and I know how to say "Y'all. Link to comment
TexasDad Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 LOL...Given that we have been experiencing lots of below zero temperatures lately, I would be only too happy to fly down to Texas......and I know how to say "Y'all. It was 82 degrees in Dallas Saturday took the kids to the park and had a blast...it was 32 degrees this morning Brrrr...I bet that sounds warm to you huh? And I see your point on what you are saying this whole sex thing is a fine line to walk and try and figure out when meeting new people...I liked marriage much better hahahaha Link to comment
Nutz Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I must agree with your analysis since 50% of the women I date also want sex very early on. I often wonder why it wasn't this easy in my twenties? For now I just decline the offers due to my spiritual faith and I feel somber for the lost art of traditional dating values. Nowadays women in their 20s are more prone to doing that sort of thing. Times are changing. However, I will say that women in their 30s & 40s that fit the "cougar" description and are more mature, confident, and are more sexually aware of what they want. Mix it all together and they're less inclined to hold back. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Nowadays women in their 20s are more prone to doing that sort of thing. Times are changing. However, I will say that women in their 30s & 40s that fit the "cougar" description and are more mature, confident, and are more sexually aware of what they want. Mix it all together and they're less inclined to hold back. Quite frankly I find many of these "cougar" types not mature and confident....many of them just want to relive their youth and act rather tarty in order to get the much younger man. There are older women that meet younger men who aren't "cougars"...they just happened to fall for someone younger. To me, the cougars are the ones who are 40 something, plaster on makeup, dress provacatively and are on the prowl. I think it is an unfair stereotype to classify all older women who find younger men as cougars...the term cougar has rather negative connotations and those are not the mature, confident women...sexually aware yes...because many are just looking for a stud. Link to comment
Blanco Nino Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I had the same experience during my 6 months of online dating with women 25-30 years old. I was a bit shocked because the reason I went online was because I was looking for long term instead of the bar scene. It ended up being the bar scene all over again except for instead of meeting them at the bar we would chat online for a week and then meet at the bar. About half I never heard from again after the first date. The other half wanted to "see my apartment" that very first night. Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.707652b1f845175b2f35e03ba7f1673e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.