Low point

[Madjas]

As of now my family has hit an all time low. I am 18 yrs old and still in highschool so i live at home. As of recently my grandma has began to pass on. I have never really been close with her, but my dad is taking it very hard, since it is his mom. Everyday for the last 4 days my dad has been drinking heavily, he is never physical, but he becomes clingy and annoying. My mom is worried about him, but she has never really spoken to him about it. My mom has asked my brother to do it, but its hard for any of us to tell him to stop drinking, he also denies being drunk, even when he is stumbling around and mumbling. He says that its the way he acts when he is sober, but i know he is not sober.

 

Now my mom is a separate story, i can never remember a time when shes actually said that she loves me. Shes constantly watching tv and ignoring everyone and very anti social. She is also highly addicted to pain killer medicine, like soma and valume, and orders pills regularlly off the internet without anyone knowing.

 

My parents have both been like this for a very long time now. What can i do?

[MollyElise]

I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. I grew up with parents abusing drugs and alchohol and know how painful it can be.

 

First off, I hope you know that your parents choice to abuse drugs is not your fault. Just as it is not your fault, it is not something you can fix. This is an internal struggle they are going through, the best you can do is keep them from hurting you emotionally and show your love to them when they are not harming themselves. If they hurt you emotionally, remove yourself as much as you can from the situation. When you start to feel your heart race and tears come or anger or pain go to a safe place, with a good friend or sibling, in your room or other quiet place at your house, on a computer come here and talk.

 

Thats the best advice I could give you, when you feel your parents actions upsetting you, remove yourself from that situation, don't threaten, don't yell, just take care of you and get yourself to a place where you feel safe and can calm down.

 

Please know, you are not alone!

[ErikT]

Are you my long lost sibling?!?

 

Seriously, I lived through exactly what you are dealing with: A father who drinks and a mother who was addicted to pain meds (although, she did need some of them) but she also drank...Not a fun combination.

 

You didn't say if your Dad drank before his mother got sick, but my guess is that he did, although maybe not as much (but he still got drunk.) You have to understand that both of your parents have a sickness. This does not mean that it is right or okay or that I am making excuses for them, but it makes it easier for you to accept it and work towards your recovery.

 

Yes, you have your own recovery that you need to go through. Contact al-anon alateen at link removed "Many who come to Al-Anon/Alateen are in despair, feeling hopeless, unable to believe that things can ever change. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We all come to Al-Anon because we want and need help."

 

Al-Anon can help you and your brother. You do not have to go through this alone.

 

Like I said, I grew up in a very similar situation so I do know what you are going through.