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Girls - less confidence boost when you're hit on/approached by unattractive people..

big greg

By big greg
in Dating Advice

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big greg Enthusiast

big greg

Posted
Posted

Most would say getting hit on or approached (in a non douchebag way) is a pretty good confidence booster. Here's the thing, though.. does it feel like less of a confidence booster when the person approaching you is ugly or unattractive? Seeing someone beautiful check you out will definitely make you feel great about yourself, but would you feel the same if some fat or ugly person was checking you out?

 

What I've seen so far in my social circles is that whenever an unattractive person checks out or approaches a beautiful person it's considered "Creepy", like they should know better than to even try.. but it's great when a pretty person checks out another pretty person. Maybe I just haven't been around very genuine people, but I wonder if this is common thought..

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Mavh25 Enthusiast

Mavh25

Posted
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lol ^^

 

Lots of guys come to this site saying "ohhh I like this girl but she's hot i'm not what should I do" the advice they usually get is "just go for it, whats the worst that could happen etc"

 

Think of it more like it'd take alot of bottle for them.

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franfran Explorer

franfran

Posted
Posted

If someone I'm not attracted to shows interest in me, it doesn't affect how confident I am, nor does it offend me. I actually end up feeling bad because I don't feel the same way. Maybe I'm just weird though, because the most attractive man in the world could come talk to me and I probably wouldn't pursue it at all....I'm just not the type to meet random people and make anything of it, so maybe my opinion here doesn't even count!

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Scorpion Fury Contributor

Scorpion Fury

Posted
Posted
If a person allows it to bug them out just because the person hitting on them is less attractive by their standards, I guess it just goes to show that person wasn't so confident after all. Otherwise it wouldn't matter who or what was hitting on you it'd be somewhat of a confident boost.

 

pretty much

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Jess2006 Contributor

Jess2006

Posted
Posted
But why is it creepy though? Only because they are below your standards of what you consider "attractive"?

 

If a person isn't like chasing after you or just being creepy (Other than being unattractive to you..) or feeling up on you I don't really see why it'd be any more annoying than a hot super model hitting on you.

 

I guess its a little annoying because they are trying to hit on me (and I don't mean when its just looking; I'm talking about being forward and asking you stuff, etc) because I don't feel any attraction towards them. And I hate being put in an awkward situation where I am put on the spot and have to try to make it clear that I'm not interested...

 

If its just innocent and an average-looking guy, I do feel flattered.

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agatha Enthusiast

agatha

Posted
Posted
Most would say getting hit on or approached (in a non douchebag way) is a pretty good confidence booster. Here's the thing, though.. does it feel like less of a confidence booster when the person approaching you is ugly or unattractive? Seeing someone beautiful check you out will definitely make you feel great about yourself, but would you feel the same if some fat or ugly person was checking you out?

 

What I've seen so far in my social circles is that whenever an unattractive person checks out or approaches a beautiful person it's considered "Creepy", like they should know better than to even try.. but it's great when a pretty person checks out another pretty person. Maybe I just haven't been around very genuine people, but I wonder if this is common thought..

 

I get flattered either way, basically because everyone knows I'm awfully picky (and quite random on my standards X D), so it takes lightyears for someone to get the guts to actually step up. and when it's just innocent street flirt, well... if it's a flirt it counts, doesn't matter too much where it comes from ^_^

 

to me, a 'creep' is defined not in terms of looks, but in terms of personality. maybe 'cause I have lots of shy nerd guy friends who fall on a 'visually creepy' category that happen to be the sweetest, most caring, respectful gentlemen that could walk this earth.

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Mythical_Suicide Experienced

Mythical_Suicide

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Posted
I guess its a little annoying because they are trying to hit on me (and I don't mean when its just looking; I'm talking about being forward and asking you stuff, etc) because I don't feel any attraction towards them. And I hate being put in an awkward situation where I am put on the spot and have to try to make it clear that I'm not interested...

 

If its just innocent and an average-looking guy, I do feel flattered.

 

 

But honestly it shouldn't be any "creepier" than if a nice looking person was to be hitting on you.

 

Maybe it's just me because I don't like anyone, regardless of how attractive they are being forward with me.

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Mythical_Suicide Experienced

Mythical_Suicide

Posted
Posted

 

to me, a 'creep' is defined not in terms of looks, but in terms of personality. maybe 'cause I have lots of shy nerd guy friends who fall on a 'visually creepy' category that happen to be the sweetest, most caring, respectful gentlemen that could walk this earth.

 

 

I guess that is why I feel like I do as well.

To me it isn't how someone looks but rather how they act. If a supermodel were to come up to me being extremely forward and pushy i'd be just as creeped out than if it were some less attractive guy. I too have a lot of friends that the typical female would look at and be like "ew" but I know their personalities and I know that if a girl gave them a chance they'd be glad they did.

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starpoint Apprentice

starpoint

Posted
Posted

I get a confidence boost no matter who is hitting on me or finds me attractive. Even if I am not interested in the person, I still find it very flattering nonetheless. But if I'm not interested I try not to do anything that may indicate to the person that I feel the same about them.

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bulletproof Collaborator

bulletproof

Posted
Posted

It's more about crazy vs. non-crazy for me. If someone hits on me and clearly doesn't have his act together (which you can usually tell within the first couple of sentences, if they're particularly insane), then I'm not that flattered. I guess because I don't trust the judgment of crazy people.

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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I find it flattering no matter who does it.

 

I also, however, have found that many women DO label a guy a creep right off the bat if he hits on her and she found him to be unattractive. I have found this normally occurs the most with younger women altho i am sure it happens in all ages.

 

I wish i had a dollar for every post I have read here where a woman called a guy a creep who talked to her or asked her out and the only thing he did wrong was not be as aesthitcally pleasing to the eye to suit her tastes. I know that it is hard for men to face rejection by asking a woman out so i have never been ugly to any person who hit on me unless they were crude or distasteful...if that were the case I called them on it.

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solacean Apprentice

solacean

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It's gonna be MEAN what I say but: It's embarrassing!!! "That guy really thinks he has a chance with you? Sorry girl, you are becoming class D" kinda thing

 

Most honest statement of the week, right there. People are expected to know their places and responsibilities in the social hierarchy, and one of the responsibilities of unattractive people is that they are not to attempt to fraternize with their betters. This axiom is right out in front of everyone when they are still in school, but it does not apply any less in one's adult life - it is just better disguised there.

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

Posted
Posted
Most honest statement of the week, right there. People are expected to know their places and responsibilities in the social hierarchy, and one of the responsibilities of unattractive people is that they are not to attempt to fraternize with their betters. This axiom is right out in front of everyone when they are still in school, but it does not apply any less in one's adult life - it is just better disguised there.

 

I tihnk that is plain mean. There are a lot of people who are not as socially ept as others, or have asperger's or something similar, where they don't have this perceived and unspoken "class ranking" and they shouldn't be be treated that way. There is nothing wrong but a lot human in letting a person down gently and treating them with some modicum of respect and kindness.

 

I think people who walk around thinking about this unspoken hiearchy in social classes are outright snobs.

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LightbulbSun Rising Star

LightbulbSun

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It's gonna be MEAN what I say but: It's embarrassing!!! "That guy really thinks he has a chance with you? Sorry girl, you are becoming class D" kinda thing

 

That's a horrible way of thinking, and women who think that way are class D, no matter what they look like. I'd rather date an average looking girl with a great personality, than a model who thinks she's above everyone else.

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SweetJade Collaborator

SweetJade

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I find it flattering to be hit on by anyone regardless if I find someone attractive or not. But if it seems like I'm always getting HIT on by unattractive people & never someone I find attractive, it's kinda a blow to my self esteem & I start to wonder like, maybe I'm in the same league as being unattractive. Lately that's been happening to me, I've been hit on by men I don't find very appealing or just not my type & it's kind of annoying me. I'm flattered that I was hit on, but can I find someone for once that I feel a mutual attraction with?

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

Posted
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That's a horrible way of thinking, and women who think that way are class D, no matter what they look like. I'd rather date an average girl with a great personality, than a model who thinks she's above everyone else.

 

So funny you said that. I witnessed this very thing years ago in a bar. A guy asked a girl out for a phone number..she rolled her eyes at him and just turned away and when he walked off she was laughing with her friends saying 'as if he thought he could date ME" and i said that very thing "princess, get over yourself, you were really mean to that guy"

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Mythical_Suicide Experienced

Mythical_Suicide

Posted
Posted
and when he walked off she was laughing with her friends saying 'as if he thought he could date ME" and i said that very thing "princess, get over yourself, you were really mean to that guy"

 

 

Girls (and guys alike..) like that are those sitting alone when they are older wondering where they went wrong in life and ended up so lonely.

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