turnaroundmyway Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 My bf of 6 months gave me his blackberry the other day to search for the website of the place we were heading to since he was driving. I noticed in his history there was a site he visited for adult dating site. I wasn't snooping, it just popped up. I asked him about it and he said he had never visited it. I accepted the answer because I read that spyware can add sites that you've never visited to your browsing history. I checked out the site and sent myself a password reminder. It said there was no account associated with that email. I tried my bf's email and it said password sent - meaning there is an account associated with his email address. I have no reason to distrust my bf and trusted him up until this point. I'm very shocked. He claims he never signed up. I am ready to break it off. Is it possible to have an account for a website you've never visited? Am I overreacting? He's great otherwise.... Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Does anyone else have access to his computer? Also, he may have signed up when singled and then never used it. Concentrate on the kind of bf he is now. Do you have reason (other than a website) to not trust him? Link to comment
Jayar Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Clearly he has an account. And now he knows you investigated it, since he'll get the password reminder. It's not that he HAS the account that'd concern me (I have accounts to probably about a dozen sites I can't be bothered to take myself off of, even though I genuinely don't use them) but it's that he lied about it. It'd be enough to tap out for me. Why? I don't settle for "kinda sorta maybe" into me. But if you want to work on it, don't ask him if he's using it. Ask him why he is using it, what's missing, and how can you fix the relationship so he doesn't feel he needs to stray. If that sounds silly, good. It should. A guy who's into you won't have accounts on dating sites. Link to comment
turnaroundmyway Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Does anyone else have access to his computer? Also, he may have signed up when singled and then never used it. Concentrate on the kind of bf he is now. Do you have reason (other than a website) to not trust him? His 14 year old son has access to his computer, but on his blackberry, it was primarily used by him. He went through his browsing history with me (I didn't ask him to) and the site was visited on a New Year's Day - I know he stayed home and no one came over. I don't have a reason not to trust him. I just think it's highly suspicious that the site is in his history AND that he has an account. He's adamant he never signed up. I never figured him for the type of guy that would go around and do that kind of stuff behind my back... Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 He clearly has an account, why would that be in his history? Do you know how recent the history was? Can you make a dummy account and see if you can find his profile? It may tell you the last time he logged in Link to comment
turnaroundmyway Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 The history was from last week. His blackberry shows which sites he visited on which day. The most recent ones appear in a recently visited list when you open up the web browser. I created a dummy account and tried to search for him but I couldn't find his profile. I'd have to pay the site to get a more advanced search. Link to comment
turnaroundmyway Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Now he is saying he thinks a virus he had on his computer added the link to the history on his blackberry and that his ex created the account to spite him. She drives by the house occasionally and used to crank call in the middle of the night until he had his numbers changed. It is a possible scenario. I think this is just too much drama for me... Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Now he is saying he thinks a virus he had on his computer added the link to the history on his blackberry and that his ex created the account to spite him. She drives by the house occasionally and used to crank call in the middle of the night until he had his numbers changed. It is a possible scenario. I think this is just too much drama for me... Ah, the infamous "someone else created that account as a joke/spite" line. I have heard this one before from people on these sites. I find it highly suspect that a friend or ex would go to such lengths to create an account like that. Most often the person themselves created it. The concern is the continual lies about it. At first maybe you caught him off guard and he fibbed. Now he continues to dig the lies deeper. I simply don't buy the fact that he is saying someone else created the account. it sounds pretty suspect to me. There are a lot of things a spiteful ex might do, but create a dating site profile? if he wants to prove it to you, you could request the password change again, and ask him to let him see the email when it comes in so you can both log into that account together. I bet he will grow very angry and not allow this. He could have easily come clean and if it was something he created when you two first started dating that might nto make you feel great but at least he will have told the truth and you woudkln't have to feel so supicious. By lying it can make you think he is still using it. Is this an adult oriented dating site or just a regular one like match or eharmonY? Link to comment
turnaroundmyway Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 I was thinking along the same lines. It was an adult oriented dating site for "encounters". I'll try what you suggested. Thanks so much for all of your replies. I really appreciate it. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I was thinking along the same lines. It was an adult oriented dating site for "encounters". I'll try what you suggested. Thanks so much for all of your replies. I really appreciate it. Yikes, i had a feeling... Link to comment
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