Trying to move on...have I done the right thing??

[susiesad]

My ex left me after 6 months. I was completely in love, and we had planned the rest of our lives together. I really believed he was "the one". We have spoken on the phone, and he doesnt want to try again. Its only been a week, and I'm still at the stage or feeling sick, stomach in knots, thoughts of him are all consuming. Although we are still "friendly", ie the odd basic text, I have just sent him a text message which read:

 

"I have just hit a realisation. I think we should have a clean break. I am moving on with my life and do not wish to stay in contact. I thought we were in love, yet you walked away so easily I now realise that love cant have been there at all and I was lied to by the one person I thought I could trust". I have no regrets, we had some great times, but this will be my last contact with you. Be happy. "

 

Do you think I have done the right thing to help me to move on?????

[MyheartorHis]

I'd go NC. It's really a need to do to get over someone...

[Jim2007]

Yes, cut him out of your life and don't look back I went through the same thing and it's helped me a lot.

[UCLAMike]

What you did was brave and right in so many ways. I wish I did what you did. He broke up with you. Don't get wishy washy with people who cannot take a serious heart seriously. Don't get together with people who break up easily. They are not mature enough or ready for a serious relationship. You go girl. I got your back.

[cruzer]

You told him the truth. If he was in love he would not have let anything come between you two. I think u did the right thing, it will make getting over him so much easier.

[crab62]

moving on is different for everyone... and how we approach that is so different for everyone.

 

some find keeping in small contact with their ex's work, other's don't think so, and like me, i wasn't given the choice cause my exbf wanted no contact with me after the break-up.

 

that said... it depends on how you want to approach it and what is giving you least amount of pain. NC is a way for us to detach ourselves from our ex's... especially if talking to them is bringing on more pain. NC allows us to heal without the continual hurtful jabs of the relationship being brought back in.

 

if NC is right for you, then go for it. if talking to him once every two weeks helps, than do that.

 

you just have to do what is right for you and what is most healthy for you... and what causes the least amount of pain. your ex broke up with you, so chances are he is in no pain... or very little... so right now your recovery is about you... and what is best for you.

[mimijay]

thats a really brave thing to do..

it makes you feel better after you send it.

 

Although!!

 

You must not send another msg after that, you have to make him think and feel that you have moved on.. otherwise if you keep msg him everynow and then he will know that your not fully moved on and you still think about him.

 

its hard I KNOW!! surround yourself with close friends, at night when your lonely and you feel like msg him because you think he'd right back. Just think about what he did to you! just turn it off, walk away from it. You will only feel better.. week after week and NC after you have achieved it one day at the time you will feel better.

 

My BF left me 3 1/2 months now. he bought a house etc... we were 2gether for 5 years and even our future planed. Its painfull but we all deserve someone who would do anything to have use by thierside.

 

Love is blind... after you move on you wont even see him the same way. He'll only be a memory.

[susiesad]

Quite right too!! I definitely wont contact him now - I'd make myself look really stupid if I did - and like you said, would just show him that he's still in my thoughts. The right thing for me is no contact. To get him out of my everyday thoughts, I need him to be out of my life. Luckily he lives over an hour away, so I wont see him, nor do we have any mutual friends. I KNOW for me, the only way I will get over him is if I dont speak to/see him, that way hopefully he will fade to a dim and distant memory quicker. Fingers crossed. x