I've finally let go

[keith515]

This is the thread that started it all:

 

 

 

Essentially, I came to the conclusion my ex cheated on me one night. All the pieces fit: the details of that night, how she acted towards me afterwards in terms of the anger and other details. I could be wrong but my gut says otherwise and the facts points towards it.

 

She is a troubled woman and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why she acted the way she did and understand what kind of person she is. If I'm wrong about what she did, no harm has been done. Only good, because it made me reach the point to where I can finally let go.

 

Deleting her as my friend from myspace was the last thing I was hanging onto. Once I did it, I felt released, free. My adrenalin was flowing for about an hour. I didn't think it would have that kind of affect on me. Usually I hang on for a long time, but in this situation I reached the point where I didn't want to have anything to do with her. Not only that, I didn't want her to know what I am up to nor do I have a desire to know what is going on with her life. Sad as it may be, but I've accepted the fact that we probably will never speak to each other again. When I think of her, only negative thoughts enter my mind.

 

So in essense I am saying goodbye to this forum. I may check in occasionally but it will be seldom. Coming here was mainly for me hoping to understand my ex better but that would only ease the pain temporarily. Now that I have let go, my thoughts are not consumed with her anymore. Coming here was a place for me to heal. I still need to heal but I don't have any more questions concerning us or her anymore. Thanks to everyone who have given me words of encouragement and helping me understand my situation better.

 

In addition, I found out where she moved to, not a good part of town. That made me feel sympathetic towards her but at same time it made me think about how she has lived her life before and how she views herself. Dating me must have been extremely stressful for her. She could never live up to my standards as what she thought was important. (I don't believe she really knew what I wanted in a GF. It wasn't the superficial things but something more) But my standards are based on what kind of person you are, not where you grew up as a kid and the things you have done that you regret. I've always looked past the things someone does because it's more important as to what you do in the future than what you have done in the past.

 

Am I ready to date again? Perhaps. But one thing is for sure I do feel better about myself and don't feel as cynical towards women like I was earlier. I'm starting to feel like my old self again.

[beejcee]

hi keith -- good luck with this new phase in your life. your story gives me hope! take care!

[Seymore]

Take me with you, man!!!! Get me out of here! (No offense anyone) And thanks for the help!

[Pandaman211]

Good man. PLENTY of women in the world, why restrict yourself being with someone unstable? Nice conclusion, Good luck