DerangedMan Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Hi guys, I have a problem that I'm not willing to talk about to my friends in 'real life' So I hope you guys will be able to help me out. So I have this close friend who happens to be a girl Even though she is a good-looking and cool person, I've never felt attracted to her, not one bit (honestly). But then she kissed me once (she was really drunk) then once more one week later. We also slept together and had non-penetrative sex (she really felt like doing it the second time, but I refused because I had no protection). That was a couple of months ago, and I we never talked about it, and it never happened again. Sometimes she is really flirty with me (and sometimes I am as well), and sometimes it's almost like she pushes me away. But we have gotten even closer (really). Any advice on what to do, and especially on how to do it? The problem is that I thought I could just forget about this, but I can't. It's been more than two months. I can't look at her the way I used to anymore, I can't really see her as a friend. I'm confused about my feelings. I often feel like kissing her again, she makes me really horny. I know there's a lot of lust in it (I have to be honest, I don't have a gf and haven't gotten some for some time and I've been really busy), to sleep with her would be a dream come true. At the same time I know I feel like this because she's a great girl. I also think she's been a bit confused, but I can tell from the way she behaves and the things she says she doesn't want to do anything else than just be friends with me anymore. But as I said, I can't see her like that anymore, which is a shame because we get along great. I even know that if I saw her kissing another guy I'd be a wee bit jealous (which is a huge deal for me because I'm almost NEVER jealous of anything and I'm a very 'in control of my feelings' type) I don't really know what to do. As I said, I thought I could get over it, but the ambiguity of it all is still bugging me. I've thought about kissing her as soon as I get an opportunity to be alone with, or just talk to her about it. I know that if I try to tough it out, I'll fail and be flirty with her whenever I feel happy or tipsy and it's going to bother her and make her dislike me. I have to say, most of all I want my mind to be at peace. The fact this is bothering me so much is starting to bother me Any advice on what to do and especially how to do it? EDIT: Oh yeah, I'm a brave guy for most things, but I'm really a wuss when it comes to feelings and relationships. Which probably explains why haven't acted yet. Link to comment
alli Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 That's too bad she doesn't want to give dating a try. Sometimes these sort of things with friends can result in a relationship. But they can also destroy friendships. You already know it feels too weird to hang out with her casually as if nothing happened when it did. It is unlikely your friendship will return to normal, at least anytime soon. If you guys end up not dating, you will probably not be able to maintain a platonic friendship anymore, either. Maybe give it a try for a while & if you still feel weird hanging out as "just friends" a couple months down the line, you'll have to tell her you can't do it anymore. Link to comment
DerangedMan Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 That's too bad she doesn't want to give dating a try. Sometimes these sort of things with friends can result in a relationship. But they can also destroy friendships. You already know it feels too weird to hang out with her casually as if nothing happened when it did. It is unlikely your friendship will return to normal, at least anytime soon. If you guys end up not dating, you will probably not be able to maintain a platonic friendship anymore, either. Maybe give it a try for a while & if you still feel weird hanging out as "just friends" a couple months down the line, you'll have to tell her you can't do it anymore. It kinda sucks. If she were just some girl this wouldn't be a problem. But I can't even totally avoid her since we share the same friends. I think that maybe, if I wait long enough and maybe find another girl things might fall back into place. But that's only a maybe. It's such a shame because she's one of my favorite people out there. I don't know for sure if she doesn't want to give dating or anything else a try (I don't think she wants to date anyone right now she's a complicated girl to be honest). I guess I'll have to act on it one way or another, for good or for bad or else I'll never get it out of my head. I just don't know which way to act really. Link to comment
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