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Completely Clueless...Please Help.


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It's ridiculous how people end up together or not together because of getting their emotions or non emotions so tied to what's being said or not being said to interfere with what they are actually feeling???


I'm so confused. My ex-boyfriend and I are "friends" or at least we both tell each other this constantly because we feel like it's necessary to be able to be with each other. We only dated for a very short period of time, but for him, he said he wasn't sexually attracted to me and would prefer a younger woman. I actually didn't take offense to this statement because when we met I had just gotten out of a lengthly relationship and wasn't really interested in anything serious, and in retrospect had not been thinking of the relationship as anything that could become lengthly. We decided that we would be better off friends rather than anything else because of our chemical "friendship" and (like old married couples) relationship conversation and understanding abilities.


We just came back from a week long vacation where we both had the best time. During one of our outings he told me that he loved me and even though we were just friends that he wasn't going to let me go. This threw me because I had started to feel something more for him than just friendship and to hear this startled me. Nothing happened. We went on to have a great vacation and nothing but reiterations of the previous "friends proclamation" has continued. I'm so frustrated because I realize that I don't want to be his friend. I hate being the one he calls first thing in the morning and before going to bed at night. Especially since he feels so comfortable talking to me about his relationships with other women and how he would love to meet the "Right" woman for himself. It's because, I want to be that "Right" woman and I can't stand trying to help him with his quest.


I really don't know what to do, other than to remain his friend and suffer in silence, then eventually introduce him to his ideal of the "Right" woman and be the bestwoman at his wedding??? Please someone tell me what to do. I don't want to loose him as a friend, but I really don't want to loose him period... Thanks, Jules

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Until he realizes any feelings for you and so pursues you, all you can do is accept that you are his friend and nothing more. But time may change that with any luck.



You are so right. I guess I will remain the forever faithful "Friend", I just hope he at least names his first born after me or something...LOL Thanks again.

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