Talking about where the relationships goin

[Rdub]

So, I've been dating this girl for about a month and a half now, and things have been going great, up until about the night of new years eve. We decided too spend new years together oviously, and it was the first time I had met all her friends too. She was really distant that night, barely spent any time with me at all, which I found a little strange. We're still dating, everything seems too be going ok, but after that night it got me thinking about where this relationships goin. My question is, I told her too call me later today cause I wanted to talk with her, and left it at that when I text'd her.

 

I wanna talk too her about where we are, and where all this is going. How should I go about doing that. Im not a well spoken person haha .. and I guess I'm just looking for a little help as to how I should ask.

 

Me personally ... I think Im falling in love wiht her. Just dont really know at all if shes feeling the same way, I know she likes me but Im really confused as too what she wants and just want a little clarity from her.

[relm]

How long have you two been dating? I would approach this differently if you were dating a month versus two years. I would suggest asking her to lunch/coffee someplace quiet were you can be open with her about how you feel about her and how you felt about what you perceived to be her distant behavior. You can end that by saying "do you think we are moving in the same direction in this relationship?". I think its important you try to hold off from any desparate emotions - be easy going and sensitive to what she is saying.

[Rdub]

I dont really care about her being distant that night .. it just made me start thinking about what I want and if she wants the same things out of this. To be honest I dont want too jsut have fun anymore.. I am looking for a steady relationship. I should mention however that she broke up with her boyfriend too be with me so that could be why she was a bit distant that night around her friends.

 

I dont wanna really be pushy, I just basically wanna know if she wants the same thing out of this and if not then I think I might end it, and shes gonna eb calling me in an hour or two and im prolly gonan do it over the phone

[agatha]

I think that with just a month of relationship, that's the kind of thing that should be done in person... so each of you can get more body language feedback from each other.

[MrGrinch]

shes gonna eb calling me in an hour or two and im prolly gonan do it over the phone

Probably too late, but I would never have a discussion like this over the telephone... always in person. There's just too much communication that is lost in having an important discussion like this over the telephone (facial expressions, body language, etc). Plus having it face-to-face as hard as that may be to do is just more genuine.

 

I found your thread relevant to my situation becuase after 5 months I want to have the same discussion with my GF. Just been waiting to have it until after the holiday season is over because I didn't want to potentially taint festivities with such a serious topic.

 

Hey relm... curious, what did you mean by holding off on desperate emotions?