I kinda wonder what will happen if you guys can help

[LAEMrough]

Hey. I'm kinda new to these forums....and i really found them helpful. I have some friends who know about my cutting problem, and i talk to them about it all the time. people say talking about it helps....and i feel better when i do talk about it, but the problem just seems to be getting worse. tomorrow i was going to go and tell my friend i need help.....but i'm very worried about what will happen when my parents find out. i know that i need the help, i just can't seem to say it. i hope someone can help me.

[lana111]

i think that if its hard for you to talk to your parents about it, maybe a friend of yours could talk to your parents for you first. thats is if you have a friend thats close with your family. if its hard to talk to them about it face to face, maybe start with a note or an email. this will alert them of the situation and just be an easier way to bring it up. your parents need to know about this so they can help you. its gonna be hard for all of you guys, but things will only get better!

[gypsy_girl]

You've just got to do it. Go talk to ur fiend, and dont let urself leave until u've said what u want to say. If you cant say it try writing a note or emailing one of your friends. Im sure they will be glad that u want help and wont hesitate in doing all they can.

 

What kind of relationship do u have with ur parents? Do u think they need to find out for u to get help? Things may be easier if u work on getting help without them (if they wouldnt be supportive of u).

 

Not to put u off or anything, but i did this exact thing about a month ago. I emailed one of my best friends who knew about my cutting and told her i know i need help and can she pls help me get some. she replied and said she knows i need help but she cant really do anything about it. And we never spoke of it again. I was just brushed of cos she didnt know what to do or how to help and i didnt really know what i wanted either.

 

When u talk to ur friend it might help to specify what u want her to do to help (if u know). Tell her u want her to tell a teacher or parents or u want counselling.

 

Why do u cut? How long have u being doing it for?

[LAEMrough]

I've been doing it for about 3 months. I guess it all started when my former best friend just started ignoring me for no reason....then she said she hated me and never spoke to me again. Now i do it whenever i get worried....or upset or stressed in some sort of way...and normally it's because of stupid things i (or my friends) do or my mother. she only pays attention to me when i do something bad. otherwise she ignores me, and she really doesn't realize how painful that is for me.

 

And the only way for me to get help is them finding out. If i go to a school counselor, they'll tell my parents. If i tell my parents, it's more then likely they'll make me get help no matter what. I have a decent relationship with my dad, and i feel like i can really talk to him about a lot. he's nothing like my mother.....and sometimes i don't understand how they got married. love is a weird thing i guess.

 

I tried to tell my friend today, but she was always around people, many many friends, and i was wondering if you had any advice for that.

[gypsy_girl]

There will probably be a time when she is alone... or u could just ask if u guys could chat for a bit. I'm sure she wouldnt say no. Or you could organise to catch up with just the 2 of you.

I get it, I usually cut for stupid things too but really they're not stupid if we feel so * * * * about them.

Have u considered directly telling ur dad? It sounds like he would understand and be willing to get u help.

Do u know why ur friend started ignoring u? I know u said for no reason but u dont have any idea?

[LAEMrough]

well, she started ignoring me i believe because she got sick....pneumonia. and i was working, and was so worried about her, but i had to go to my job...and i had track and field, and soo many extra things to do. she got mad at me for not visiting her or making her a card. then when she was ignoring me, i didn't know how to handle it, and i couldn't talk to her, so i just went off in "my little corner" all alone. i wasn't talking to anybody, and she thought i ignored her back. then she said she never wanted to speak to me again, and that's where the problem began. she said so many hurtful things to me, and i was already being bullied by basically everyone in the school. she had no idea how much it hurt.

yes, i've considered telling my dad directly, but i don't think i could do it. i may have some of my friends help me, or i may just have the school counselor call them for me anyway.

and i'm sorta happy cuz my friend promised she'd let me talk to her tomorrow no matter what it took (she already knows i wanted to talk to her so...)

[striker_dude]

Your parents are going to be very upset, but if they are good people and they are in good control of their emotions they will be fairly calm about it, and suggest or even insist that you see someone who is educated and trained to deal with people that need to hurt themselves.

 

Or they will totally freak out on you and rush you to the hospital.

 

Either way they will do it out of love and you will ultimately get more help than if you don't say anything to anyone in real life. There's only so much help you can get from well meaning posters on an internet message board.

[gypsy_girl]

did u chat to ur friend? how did it go?

[LAEMrough]

Well i told my friend that i had hurt myself. the only thing she asked was how, and i told her, but she didn't even ask if i was still doing it. she didn't seem all that freaked out about it.....but a good thing is another friend who knows, she knows absolutely everything, and she knows it at the instant i do anything to myself. we help each other out because she cuts too. we promised that we'd get each other help if we needed it, so i feel pretty comfortable now that i know i will get the help eventually. when i'm ready for it.