Sex with the Ex - good or bad, has it lead to getting back together?

[SportBox]

I'm curious eNotAloners...have any of you had sex with your (most recent and the one just prior) ex and if so:

 

a. why did you do it and how often and did it set you back emotionally

b. did it lead to reconciliation

c. if yes to b, for how long.

 

It's something that I'm now contemplating (I hear you loud and clear

broken34). Just as men have needs, so do women and honestly, we women can't solely rely on The Rabbit for so long until the next good guy comes along.

 

So, I'm curious about experiences you guys and gals have had. If you could indicate your gender and age range, all the better for a good social study.

 

Thanks,

Sportbox

[johnsf1980]

I'm 28, shes 34... yes we did have sex a few times while broken up and no it hasn't lead to reconciliation yet - in fact, over the past month, shes jumped headlong into a relationship with a coworker.

 

Why did we do it? We had great sex, both of us wanted it and she felt comfortable about her body with me.

 

I did keep an attachment going where if we'd broken off totally and maintained NC the attachment might be died

[midnightrambler]

I'm curious eNotAloners...have any of you had sex with your (most recent and the one just prior) ex and if so:

 

a. why did you do it and how often and did it set you back emotionally

b. did it lead to reconciliation

c. if yes to b, for how long.

 

It's something that I'm now contemplating (I hear you loud and clear

broken34). Just as men have needs, so do women and honestly, we women can't solely rely on The Rabbit for so long until the next good guy comes along.

 

So, I'm curious about experiences you guys and gals have had. If you could indicate your gender and age range, all the better for a good social study.

 

Thanks,

Sportbox

 

 

a. sparodically--it hardened my heart

b. no

c. about 8 years

 

male

[Decaf08]

Sex, may bring back all feelings of the past relationship, but it doesn't bring the relationship back.

 

For the most part it's just a physical action that will bring back some unpleasant surprises.

 

And when women can't rely on a rabbit, they will look for sex from somebody else. And if men can't rely on masturbation for too long they will also go look for it.(I have seen some cases where friends have been single and haven't gone on dates for the last 5 years which may contradict this sentence but that's on a completely different level)

 

When past lovers have sex with each other it's normal. One thing to keep in mind is since they've already had sex before, it's much easier to do it again with each other than to have to go through the stages of attraction and love with a stranger or somebody new.

 

So if you're wondering, think really hard about it, if you still miss him you're going to open up all your wounds again thinking that you'll get a relationship back out of sex.

 

Been there before, had a former GF become a FWB and it sucked when I developed feelings for her again...

 

Looking out for ya.

[OrangeMoon]

Dear Sportbox..

 

I am not holier than thou, really i am not. I have been there and done that ;-)...nore am i the one to say you cant. I just hope that if you decide to do it..you and your ex are at the same level emotionally.. (i believe you are not, but who am i)

 

I still feel..it is somehow insulting from his part..but you are grown up. If you feel like you dont have anything to loose and everything to gain..

 

Then go for it...and then tell us all about it afterwards ;-)

 

Just realize one thing...loveless sex with the ex..can suck big time. That what made it special before..the intimacy, the relationship, the commitment..is no more

 

It will be strange, and in someway fun as well..

 

Dont get your hopes up too much..i would say. You are playing with fire nevertheless..but sometimes it takes a good burn, to learn not to do it again.. And who knows..maybe i am totally wrong..

 

Just be careful..whatever you decide to do..

[purpleduckie]

 

a. why did you do it and how often and did it set you back emotionally

b. did it lead to reconciliation

c. if yes to b, for how long.

 

 

a. i was settling, taking what i can... pretty much. Like nightrambler, it hardened my heart, as well.

b. we did get back together, but not because of the sex. it was pointless because we broke up again anyway.

c. not long. a month or 2.

[Perfect Dark]

It's a bad idea, if you have feelings for the ex then you will get hurt. It just brings those feelings back and it's really painful.

 

a. why did you do it and how often and did it set you back emotionally- Thought I could 'win' him back

b. did it lead to reconciliation- Kind of

c. if yes to b, for how long.- A few weeks lol