Challenge for NC...how about mutual friends?

[ThisXmas]

Because we used to go to the same church, we have quite a few mutual friends there. The other friends are asking me if I am going to an event today because they haven't seen me for a while.

 

So after he broke up with me I thought of needing about a month of NC and now one week has passed. I don't know what kind of excuse I should use for mutual friends' invitations. Any suggestions? In this case is it still necessary to stick to original plan? confused...

[huskiesfan]

Go and have fun, and try not to focus on your ex. You could mention to your friends that you are trying not to have contact with him, so you'd rather try not see him or talk to him at this event. If you do see him, just ignore him, or if you must talk to him, keep it pleasant and short.

[ThisXmas]

Thanks. Just a few hours to decide if I am going for a gathering or not. I feel like it doesn't make much difference and actually may help me to reaccess how his feeling is going so that I don't have to fantasize for another opportunity if he is bad to me.

 

I forgot to mention a little detail. We assume nobody knows we were together because based on his request (and I agreed), we didn't let anybody know when we were dating. I think it's understandable decision in church because I don't know what others would think about me too if they all knew.

 

 

Go and have fun, and try not to focus on your ex. You could mention to your friends that you are trying not to have contact with him, so you'd rather try not see him or talk to him at this event. If you do see him, just ignore him, or if you must talk to him, keep it pleasant and short.

[Sturmhouse]

It's tricky only because the amount of time you've been NC. I think this is a golden opportunity to show how much you've been working on yourself and exhibiting your new behavior. Go there, and have some fun.

 

I have a similar situation, a swim meet I know she's going to be at and will take place 3 weeks after I started solid no contact. I've been talking to her mutual friends and they are staying with her - and looking forward to seeing me. I'm gonna go there, have a good time, put my best face forward and be the sweeter, kinder me.

[ThisXmas]

Hi Sturmhouse...I just talked to a good friend who's not in the same church and she said she won't go if it was her...just because she doesn't know if she can handle it if he is cold to her..

 

I guess both of you are right...and I think I may be very sad and disappointed if I can't feel any spark from him too. So are you sure you can handle the disappointment if she's cold to you?

 

It's tricky only because the amount of time you've been NC. I think this is a golden opportunity to show how much you've been working on yourself and exhibiting your new behavior. Go there, and have some fun.

 

I have a similar situation, a swim meet I know she's going to be at and will take place 3 weeks after I started solid no contact. I've been talking to her mutual friends and they are staying with her - and looking forward to seeing me. I'm gonna go there, have a good time, put my best face forward and be the sweeter, kinder me.

[Sturmhouse]

yeah, I mean if you can't carry yourself in front of him - it's a bad idea. But if you think you can go and have fun and look like you're having fun I'd say go.