I trust but can I be sure he won't ever hurt me

[yeawutever]

NO none of that has happened as he knows very well it would be over right away just like cheating itself, no second chances, same thing I expect from him as well if I do it. But see it's my past that is haunting me again from time to time. Just to have an idea what I'm talking about, it's this long ago post at

 

Sometimes I can't get rid of those images and what I would heard as a kid. I was recently getting over it but now it's coming back, don't wanna think about it no more, how to stop this already. Plus I can sometimes get kinda defensive and somewhat short-tempered esp. when intimidated.

[huskiesfan]

Have an honest, open, frank discussion with your SO about your views. Let him know that you had to witness abuse as a child, and that you absolutely will not stand for it in your relationship. Let him know that you aren't saying that he would do that, but that what you witnessed as a child, is bothering you. If he is a gentleman, he will understand. The idea of him laying hands on you should never pop up in his head anyways, if he is a real gentleman.

[yeawutever]

Have an honest, open, frank discussion with your SO about your views. Let him know that you had to witness abuse as a child, and that you absolutely will not stand for it in your relationship. Let him know that you aren't saying that he would do that, but that what you witnessed as a child, is bothering you. If he is a gentleman, he will understand. The idea of him laying hands on you should never pop up in his head anyways, if he is a real gentleman.

 

Thank you but he already knows my past on this and how it has affected me all the way to my adulthood, even now still. He did say how he would never hurt me and would break up with me right away if he ever hypothetically thought about it. Then I wanted to make sure so when I wrote online recently, I was like ''You won't hurt me right'' and he say ''No I will not'', that he loves me. He also told me once long ago not to ever take no guy back for abuse, not even if they beg for second chances. Early one when we met he told me he would never hit a girl.

 

Knowing my past and my early warning on this, I don't think he would be sooo stupid to resort to reckless caveman ways. But yes I always felt safe and secure around him, maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid as a result of what I witnessed and sometimes when people are in long term relationships and bang, it happens for the first time, then they tried to excuse their behavior, ewwwwwwww disgusting.

[huskiesfan]

Knowing my past and my early warning on this, I don't think he would be sooo stupid to resort to reckless caveman ways. But yes I always felt safe and secure around him, maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid as a result of what I witnessed and sometimes when people are in long term relationships and bang, it happens for the first time, then they tried to excuse their behavior, ewwwwwwww disgusting.

That is perfectly understandable that you may be a little paranoid. However, you may just need to continue to have faith and trust in him. My father treated my mother like crap when I was a child, and I've used that knowledge to make a vow never to lay a hand on a woman. If your SO knows about your past and how its affecting you, and he loves you, he would never do that to you.

[yeawutever]

If your SO knows about your past and how its affecting you, and he loves you, he would never do that to you.

 

Yup, you got that right, I agree on that one. Thank you!!!!!!!

[philomela]

I'm gonna drop the PTSD bomb. It is totally understandable that these awful things you've witnessed in your life are still with you. To be honest, they will *never* go away, but you learn how to manage them. From time to time, they will pop up again and the pain will feel just as fresh as it did all those years ago.Unfortunately, this is a part of what has made you you, it's a part of who you are.

 

It sounds like you're in a good, stable relationship, and it makes sense that you're just waiting for it to go wrong, you're expecting it to fail. Because in your mind, good things don't last, right? It will just take time, small steps, and little by little more and more of your doubts will drift away.

 

When I first met my boyfriend a year ago, I was plagued with feelings of inadequacy, with questions as to why on earth he would want to pick me above all others. So much time has passed, and though I do occasionally wonder how on earth he finds me attractive (as these are parts of my core issues, whether he is involved or not), I trust in him. It took a while to grow, but all great things take time, right?