A Friend with Connections

[civilservant]

Don't you just hate it when friends aren't as supportive as they should be?

 

I have this friend who I spend a fair amount of time with, he still works with my ex, and whenever he has the oppurtunity he reminds of of her and what she's up too. He knows full well that I want to get over her, largly have done, and would rather not hear anything of her.

 

I keep telling him to shut up, that it doen't affect me, but he dosen't seem to listen and it's really getting irritating. What do I do now? Should I just not see him for awhile? It would be a shame, but I don't know what to do because he won't get the message!

 

Grr!

[Supa_gurl]

Don't see that friend for a while...i think he will get the message then.

[hmdreamer7]

The next time he brings your ex up, try saying 'I don't want to hear it,' then just get up and walk away. Maybe he needs a more powerful statement such as this to make him realize how serious you really are. Is there a reason why you tell him that him talking about your ex doesn't affect you? Because it sounds like it still does. On his side, though, either he just doesn't get it, or he's not taking you as seriously as it is to you. I say give it one more try with talking to him about it, and if it still doesn't change, you should put a little space between friends until you are over your ex.

 

Do realize, however, that they work together, so in the future her name will come up every once in awhile, whether intentional or not. I think once you've completely healed it will be easier to hear her name come up every now and then.

[civilservant]

I certainly agree with you dreamer, and yes, she will come up in conversation. However, what I don't need are comments like "She looked really fit today" and "I'd sleep with her"

 

Especially considering he's gay!

[Stella Sleepwalks]

When I broke up with my first bf I had a certain "friend" who'd sieze EVERY opportunity she could to talk about him, his new gf, etc.... Nedless to say I broke up with her too just to get on with healing.

 

People like these aren't really friends, they like to see drama unfolding before their eyes because their own lives are so empty. They want to see a reaction, the worse the reaction the better! Its twisted.

 

 

My work colleague/friend has been driving by my most recent ex's house lately, due to the fact he lives opposite a hospital and her boyfriend's grandma has just died there. She told me last week over lunch that he had no Christmas decorations up in his house....I told her I wasn't interested in talking about him anymore and she hasn't mentioned a word about him since. Same goes for the person who introduced us in the first place. Went out for a meal with him and some friends for Christmas, and he started bad mouthing him as a backstabber, so I just said that he was not worth talking about and that he'd love to know we were talking about him which stopped that topic of conversation dead!

[tin_tin]

People like these aren't really friends, they like to see drama unfolding before their eyes because their own lives are so empty. They want to see a reaction, the worse the reaction the better! Its twisted.

 

 

Nail on the head.......

 

You shouldnt have to tell him.

If he was a true friend, he should know thats the LAST thing you would want hear.

[huskiesfan]

Don't you just hate it when friends aren't as supportive as they should be?

 

I have this friend who I spend a fair amount of time with, he still works with my ex, and whenever he has the oppurtunity he reminds of of her and what she's up too. He knows full well that I want to get over her, largly have done, and would rather not hear anything of her.

 

I keep telling him to shut up, that it doen't affect me, but he dosen't seem to listen and it's really getting irritating. What do I do now? Should I just not see him for awhile? It would be a shame, but I don't know what to do because he won't get the message!

 

Grr!

 

Talk to him and tell him you don't appreciate or need him talking to you about your ex, and then if he doesn't get the message, put some space between you and this friend for a while. You might want to be a little distant with other mutual friends that you and your ex had for the time being, because of the potential of them siding with the ex and being hostile towards you.