RedWingsFan Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I've met an awesome girl, and it's clear she is interested in me. She even said so to a mutual (and very trusted friend of ours) friend. Oddly, though, she has never dated anyone. She is 24. She's a good looking, intelligent, and social woman - I am truly baffled! While we have a good time hanging out, it is always me initiating. In the game of courtship, both parties take steps to make a relationship start. While one person may pursue more than the other, both parties take action. This girl has also said, to our mutual friend, that, "I've never dated anyone - I don't know what to do!" How in the world do I proceed? I surely do not want to be the only initiator. That leaves me with doubt about her level of interest. I need positive reinforcement! She obviously didn't get the "How to Date" manual in middle school that most of us did. As always - thoughts and experiences are appreciated. Link to comment
Lights Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I know you said you don't want to be the only initiator - but sounds to me like she could just use some guidance to get the ball rolling! I'm sure if you two started dating, once she got more comfortable, the rest of it would just come naturally after that. Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 The fact that she has said to a mutual friend I don't know what to do! tells you right there shes interested in you (otherwise, she wouldn't have had asked advice-if she didn't have interest, your friend wouldn't be telling you this, and she wouldn't be asking your friend since she would just tell you she was not interested). You do not need to doubt her level of interest- you need to continue being a man and being confident. Plus, for a woman that does not have experience, she probably assumes that the man has to take the initiative. Go forward as you would've in any other relationship. She will follow your lead. Link to comment
anonimo Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Yeah it sounds like you might have to be the primary initiator and kind of be willing to show her the ropes..She sounds like she's a good catch man... She'll probably catch on quick. Link to comment
forever1130 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I'm sure my bf felt the same way you do when he started dating me. Although I'm not 24, at 16 when we started dating (I had never dated before) I didn't initiate anything but luckily he took it upon himself to do so (and I'm so thankful he did!) But a now, a year later, I have no problem initiating things... It just took me awhile to get comfortable with and I'm sure your girl is probably the same way. Just give it some time and she'll probably come around. Good luck with everything! Link to comment
dr_styles Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Ever consider that she's just the very shy type? (I'm 24 now and still don't have the "How to date" manual either ...) Link to comment
Cloudyday Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Yeah she could just be shy about not having had any experience before. If you really like her then it shouldn't bother you and I'd bet that after a little while she'll be more comfortable and start initiating things on her own. Link to comment
mr_iwi Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I think that she may be a little embarrassed about never having dated, and so would prefer to let you do all the work rather than take a chance and make a fool of herself with a faux pas that would be obvious to most others. She's interested, you get on well, you already know and like some of each other's friends and she has no psycho exes to ruin things. Sounds perfect! Link to comment
WildIrishRose Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I've met an awesome girl, and it's clear she is interested in me. While we have a good time hanging out, it is always me initiating. In the game of courtship, both parties take steps to make a relationship start. While one person may pursue more than the other, both parties take action. This girl has also said, to our mutual friend, that, "I've never dated anyone - I don't know what to do!" As always - thoughts and experiences are appreciated. Courtship is like a dance. Usually the woman initiates courtship by flirting (making eye contact, smiling and looking away, then making eye contact again). The man decides whether or not he is interested in the woman. He may approach her to talk to her and may ask her out on a date. It's like dancing. Someone takes the lead and the other partner follows. Usually a man takes active interest in a women, by asking her out and planning dates in the beginning because he reads some sign such as body language related to flirtation. A woman shows her interest receptively by being happy what the man offers her in the beginning. If the two become an exclusive pair, that is when woman ususally feels comfortable initiating some calls and some dates. Right now, she is showing you interest by saying yes to you, when you ask her out and then going out with you. Link to comment
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