sadme Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 After four years of dating, being engaged twice to the guy and three break ups the last one in October always him breaking up with me he keeps initaiting contact the last few weeks. He kept getting into my facebook and had a fit last night when he saw a couple of men had asked me out and one asked me to go on a vacation in a few weeks. He texted me some very nasty comments and then apologized by text today and said he got upset by me male friends on facebook. He then called and apologized and told me he just misses me and was hurt by it all. We are going to dinner on Monday evening to hang out and says he is looking forward to it. He did not want to go out tonight or Sunday and he has been dating a few women. He has been texting comments for about a week every other day. I think he knows I would love to give it all one more try and I am not sure why he agreed to do dinner on Monday and keeps contacting. Am I reading too much into this? Should I tell him I want to give it one more last try or do I just enjoy the company and try and have fun? Or do I just let this all go for good. I love the guy, but how much ups and downs can one take? I don't understand him. Help! Link to comment
looloolola Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 what were his reasons for breaking up with you? How long did it take him to come back? Are you the one who is asking him to dinner? Link to comment
tin_tin Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 So he gets jealous that your getting attention from other men, and he cant deal with it. But he thinks its OK for him to date other women?? Sounds like a rule for him and a rule for you. Link to comment
sadme Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 He says he broke up with me this last time because I talk to guys at the gym and mention other men too much. That I do not place hime first all of the time. He is very needy. I think that was blown out of proportion and an excuse as he could not commit to moving once agian and getting married. Every time it gets close to true commitment he wants out and says its my fault as I am a flirt to some degree. He would not even let me go out to dinner with a girlfriend when we are engaged. When we have broken up he always the one with others and I am just dating nothing serious. He says he is taking it slow with women and has met nice women just nothing over the top. We both agreed it would be fun to go out to dinner Monday as we went out twice in the last month and it was fun. He pulled back after the last time as he said he thought we would end up right back together and he was not ready for that at this time. I have put the diamond on twice and took it off twice in the last 14 months. Just crazy.... Weird stuff! Link to comment
sadme Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Oh and the last two break ups he has come back within 3 to 4 months to give it another try. We got engaged again in June and we were supposed to move in together in Septemeber and he wanted out Oct. 1. The time before that we had a wedding planned and lost $5,000 in deposits. He broke up with me 5 months before the wedding and was dating another woman within two weeks and then wanted to give us another try a couple months later. I have always been just into him and he knows it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I think it is time for you to get off this merry-go-round. He is showing you exactly who he is..unreliable. Do you really think he will be any better if you ever married him? How many times would he walk out on you and then want to try again if you married him? It sounds to me that he doesn't want to get tied down and wants to continue to sow his wild oats. He can't handle commitment and he doesn't care how much he hurts you. Time for you to stop meeting with him and getting sucked back in over and over again. He had how many chances from you and blew them every time. Perhaps it is time for you to see that YOU are the prize and that HE is the big loser if he can't commit to you...let him go for endless booby prizes while you find someone else who will appreciate you and want to commit to you. Link to comment
looloolola Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 so you have broken up three times and he has come back every time on his own? Link to comment
sadme Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Yep! Four years of this. We dated a year and a half and it was fine we talked marriage but I told him I needed more time. Then he stated he was unhappy and started dating a girl the day he broke up with me and as soon as it ended (4 months later) he was back to me. We got engaged 6 months later and he broke it off 6 months after that and started dating another girl two weeks later and as soon as that ended (3 months) he was back again saying lets give it a third try. We got re-engaged and 6 months later he called it off again and here we are........ I know its hard to understand and keep track of the craziness.... We did fight a lot this last time around and seem to have gotten that in check. Are we meant to be or is this a pattern that will keep happening? We were both divorced 4 years ago right before we met and maybe he needs time to make sure the grass is really not greener or maybe he is a playa that can't really commit. Link to comment
looloolola Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 What does he tell you the reasons are for breaking up? Does he tell you hes not ready for marriage, or does he tell you he fell in love with someone else? Does he balme you for the break up? I would say if he keeps on coming back to you ON HIS OWN, then he does love you, but what are his reasons for breaking up ? Link to comment
sadme Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 1)The first time he said he needed space and was married for 10 years and met me right after that and needed some time to himself and was not happy. He dated a girl for 4 months and said that he missed me and loved me and wanted to try again. 2) The second time we were supposed to be married 6 months later and broke up with me and said he did not like the sexy way I dressed, that I let guys speak to me in the gym, that I did not respect him enough and that he did not trust me and was not happy. He dated a girl for 3 months and then said he missed me and loved me and wanted to try for a third time. 3) He broke up with me this October and said it was due to him not feeling good about himself and that I talk to guys in the gym and he was not happy. That if I did not talk to other men in the gym we would still be together. We are 43 and 39 this is silly. He told me today that he misses me, but does not miss the threat of other men and really did not like the discusions I have had on facebook with other men even though we are not dating anymore. I blocked him this morning and he mentioned was upset that I did that. Weird!!!! Anyway he wants to go to dinner Monday. I just do not know wether to blow it off, go and have fun or lay it on the line with my feelings. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 So he gets jealous that your getting attention from other men, and he cant deal with it. But he thinks its OK for him to date other women?? Sounds like a rule for him and a rule for you. yeah - i agree. not sure why you are still dating this guy..... addicted to drama perhaps? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 It sounds like this guy doesn't know how to be alone...he constantly needs a woman in his bed...and yet he has the nerve to cast stones at you? I really think this guy is not a keeper...he is blaming you without doing some serious self-reflection. Link to comment
blue_dahlia Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 From the outside looking in I just don't see how it's going to get any better. This is a serious pattern of destructive behavior. I hope you can recognize your true worth. You're the prize here and you deserve to be loved and adored. Link to comment
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