Still confused

[gnarlyhoc]

I posted about a week ago, about a girl that came home for break and was a little cold. I've known her/ been dating for a while. While she was out at school we talked everyday. She drunk dialed me one night telling me that she misses me, and she wishes i were there ect. We talked about it the next day and she meant it. She is a closed off type of girl. I know she likes me though, im just getting really confused with her actions.

 

During the end of the semester she always brought up things like "I think there is another girl". I just kept saying there isn't, which is true. I figured the first time she was just joking, but she kept bringing it up after that.

 

We've only hung out twice since she's been home. Which is odd since she only lives 40 minutes away. When she was at school she wanted to hang out. But she gets home and she goes cold. We watched a movie one night and cuddled and such. I gave her a backrub. I figured "If this girl doesn't like me she probably wouldn't want a backrub." Then when she left i gave her a kiss goodnight, and she didn't pull away this time. I actually got one in return.

 

I can see the interest is there. And if i didn't think this girl was really worth it I would have been out of there a long time ago. I think she is scared of another relationship. She was hurt pretty badly in her last one and maybe have trust issues. One reason i think that is the "another girl" conversation she likes to bring up. So i wrote her a short letter explaining how i feel about her. When i talk in person i don't want to say anything stupid, so i figure a letter is a good way to get the ball rolling about talking about a relationship. She may not know my exact position. I figure ill just throw it out there, and if she doesn't want anything to do with it, i know i did everything i could. Then i can move on if needed.

[simply complicated]

Thats a good way to approach the situation, I have a similar issue with my girl, only difference is it's other people we know putting the idea in her head that i've got another girl on the side, and she's just a safety net for me.(which isn't true) So I understand your position.

 

I think you should avoid the letter, it's not really a bad thing, but her hearing it come from you, would have a bigger impact then her reading it.

Take her to dinner, a nice quiet place, dinners like that are maent for conversation.

So basically you ease your way into the topic, tell her how you feel, don't worry about saying anything stupid, your there to reasure her that you are genuine, but don't persuade her to believe you, make her want to find out, you can say something like..."I really like you, I understand you have trust issues, I can't make you believe that i'm not that guy who would lie to you or hurt you, but I want you to at least give me a chance to show you." something like that, tell her you think both of you as a couple have potential, and that her being hurt in the past only makes you wanna try harder to show her how a women deserves to be treated.

 

Stuff like that, trust is the number one issue in any relationship, it'll take more than dinner and a few kind words to change that, but it's definitely a start, it shows that your for real, and want to put effort into it. Good Luck.