No idea whats going on and what i should do...

[Kam2]

Hey all

i'm new to all this and i was hoping someone can help me figure out whats going on with my ex.

 

We dated for almost a year and that was probably the best year of my life. she was one of my best friends. but then she got a scholarship to a university and she moved away but we decided to stay together and give long distance a try. it wasn't easy but we still talked everyday and kept eachother informed on our day to day lives. but one day in october she told me she found out some guy from her university liked her and what i thought about that. i told her that it doesn't make me feel any better about her being away but can't really do anything about it and i asked her how she felt and she said he was just a friend and that she found it easy to talk to him about things. obviously i didn't feel any better about that. but she assured me it was nothing and that she still loved me. then on thanksgiving she broke up with me and it came up out of no where and the whole thing was just thrown at me but she still wanted to be friends. i didn't want us to end just like that but i figured being friends is better than nothing at all. its been more than 2 months and i'm still not sure what happened. i dunno if she's going for that one guy or just didn't want a relationship but i still love her and can't stop thinking about her. and the whole friends thing isn't any good. we haven't had a decent conversation and i'm always the one inniating the conversation. in those convos i don't really get any answers so i'm kind of giving up on them. couple of weeks ago she came back for christmas and i saw her at a bar for her birthday but things didn't really go well. i don't really know how to get get her to talk to me and clear things up between us.

can anyone tell me whats going on and what i should do?

[alli]

I know you want answers from her but it's pretty obvious she is not going to give them to you. Maybe she just wanted to be single at college, or maybe she wanted to date that other guy. It really doesn't make a difference to you now. You will get over her a lot quicker if you stop talking to her completely. Trying to be friends with her is not working because it keeps her fresh on your mind & you still have all those questions.

 

You won't be able to talk to her & clear things up because she won't allow it. It seems like she is trying to be "nice" about the break up, as she said she would still be friends with you & will not tell you anything that will hurt you. Whatever reason she decided not to date you anymore, it was her decision that she made. No one forced her. There was no outside factor that neither of you could control that caused the breakup. She just didn't want to date you anymore. I think you will get over it faster if you accept that & stop contacting her. Sorry, break ups really suck.

[davejsy]

do whats best for you, and that is to try and forget about her. You will probably find you discover more about her intentions by not actually speaking to her! She'll either really miss you, if she still has feelings for you, or she won't be bothered.

 

alli - yeh breakups suck!

[Kam2]

thanks guys for your help

i've cut pretty much all contact with her and i'm starting to see how my method was totally useless.

cheers