In college with girlfriend and lonely

[floydian]

Hey everyone! This is my first post here I need some advice.

 

I am lonely. I am in my second year of college and will be turning 20 next month. I have a number of close friends left over from high school, but we all went our own ways since then so I only get to see them every few months. I met a few people my age in my classes last year, but none of them really turned into lasting friendships. People don't usually initiate conversation with me, probably since I don't look my age (my baby face makes me look 3 years younger than I am). On top of this, I'm also shy, introverted, and self conscious.

 

One relationship did develop last year though, which turned into my current girlfriend. When we came back to school this year, we moved into an apartment together instead of doing the dorm thing again. I have a lot of fun with her, but I wish I had guys to hangout with too.

 

My questions...

1) How can I meet some guys my age to hang out with?

2) Am I moving to fast with my girlfriend?

3) Should I move back to the dorms?

 

Thanks! Any advice is appreciated

[SullenGirl]

Join some organizations/clubs on campus! That'd be a great way to meet people...I'm sure there are plenty of them. Also, you could look for groups on facebook or something that have to do with your school/area and connect with people and events that way.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I have to wonder if you moved in with your girlfriend because of lonliness and wanting to have someone to be with. I think you probably did move in too fast with her and it was more about your feelings of not having anyone else. The thing is, it didn't solve your problems. What are your interests? There are loads of clubs and groups on campus and perhaps one of these might be of interest to you. Go to your student union office and see what they can tell you about the different groups. Do you have a religious affiliation? There are University groups associated with particular religious affiliations or cultural groups.

[Wolf_22]

Do you love her? Do you constantly fight? Do you find yourself laughing all the time with her or do you instead feel as if you have a growing urge to lash-out at her or something? I don't know about everyone else, but having more information like this would help me better in assessing your relationship with this girl.

 

Personally, I have been in your shoes and if you two have trust established and you still find yourselves attracted to each other, then to me, the only remaining issue here is the fact that:

 

A.) You're still in college with many transitions occurring within all facets of life.

B.) Stress is probably at a high level due to academics and demands from both professional and personal avenues of life.

 

Because of the fact you're in college, you'll be lucky to have any "real" friendships established. Think about it: each semester you meet someone new, then after that semester is through, you'll be forced to move on. All throughout that time, you'll also be forced to concentrate on things you probably want nothing to do with such as reports, essays, research papers, etc. This will take up a lot of time, so not only will your standard friendships be in peril, but so, too, will your romantic relationships.

 

Only you can decide if you've moved too fast. Do you think you have? If after weighing what I said, and still, you think you did, then you probably did. If, however, you might just be under some stress and a bit suffocated because you have yet to build any other friendships, then I would say try to relax a bit and start making moves to hang out with some of your guy friends from your classes.

[stephla]

My questions...

1) How can I meet some guys my age to hang out with?

2) Am I moving to fast with my girlfriend?

3) Should I move back to the dorms?

 

 

1) that should be easy. just go out,go by yourself,anything just don't sit at home alone. i don't know what your interests are,so i can only guess and buy yourself a drink in a bar,joy some club,do sports,find your own hobbies besides college,or see what college has to offer besides exams. try meeting people online,being an introvert that should suit you.

learn to be by yourself,love yourself.you can't force friendships,they'll come eventually.just be patient and happy with yourself,you'll attract right people.don't worry.

and what about your gf? you two can go out together,you'll meet someone easier that way,if you're shy like you said.

 

2) to me personaly,yes it's too fast with that age and that short relationship to move in together.but that's me, it's really up to you and your gf.

 

3) if you think your need and wish for company is stronger than living with your gf,and you think there you'll be able to meet friends more than being on your own/with gf,yes you should. but you've been there and haven't met firends,so why come back?

 

my advice overall is to finish college,get a job,stay with your gf if you're happy together,and day by day you'll find more and more cool people. you're very young,don't put yourself down! and good luck with whatever you decide!